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Demagogues or rabble rousers have always had a leg up in the political arena. If you can whip up a frenzy of prejudice and ignorance and raise the specter of looming threats or conspiratorial “elites”, while not being particularly beholden to facts, you’ll get a big chunk of the population on your side. And in an age where our daily lives are overwhelmed by an incessant glut of information, demagogues have more power than ever. Amazing accessibility of most information has devalued facts, blurring lines between experts and demagogues. Getting away with untruths may be easier than ever.
Is there an actual information overload now? It’s not just the incessant texting, emailing, Facebook-checking and the hundreds of channels on TV with nothing on. As psychology professor Daniel Levitin points out:
“In 1976, there were 9,000 products in the average grocery store, and now it’s ballooned to 40,000 products. And yet most of us can get almost all our shopping done in just 150 items, so you’re having to ignore tens of thousands of times every time you go shopping.”
Even the store is overloading us. Levitin proposes that in the last 10 years we’ve created more information than in all the human history that preceded it.
“I’ve read estimates there were 30 Exabyte’s of information 10 years ago and today, there’s 300 Exabyte’s of information,” says Levitin.
On top of all this information and choices, Earl Miller, an MIT neuroscientist, notes that our brains were actually not even “wired” to multitask.
“When people think they’re multitasking, they’re actually just switching from one task to another very rapidly. And every time they do, there’s a cognitive cost in doing so,” explains Miller.
In fact, multitasking was found to increase the production of cortisol, a stress hormone, as well as adrenaline, which can overstimulate the brain and cause “mental fog”.
As we go around in our mental fog, why would we even listen to experts like Levitin and Miller? In the information overload age, a layman is empowered as much as a so-called “expert”. Let’s say you come across a Neil DeGrasse Tyson article. If you don’t like something about it, and especially if you don’t understand it, you are free to leave a comment under his Facebook article about just how wrong you think he is. You have the power to immediately set this “expert” straight. Doesn’t matter that you don’t have a degree in astrophysics. Your emotional reaction to his “facts” is all that matters here.
What may be happening is what social and political analyst (and another “expert”) Professor Tom Nichols termed “the death of expertise”.
“I fear we are witnessing the “death of expertise”: a Google-fueled, Wikipedia-based, blog-sodden collapse of any division between professionals and laymen, students and teachers, knowers and wonderers – in other words, between those of any achievement in an area and those with none at all. By this, I do not mean the death of actual expertise, the knowledge of specific things that sets some people apart from others in various areas. There will always be doctors, lawyers, engineers, and other specialists in various fields. Rather, what I fear has died is any acknowledgement of expertise as anything that should alter our thoughts or change the way we live,” writes Nichols.
Even doctors are no longer as much of an authority as people go online to diagnose themselves, resulting in the rise of cyberchondria. Just because you can find some symptoms in a search engine doesn’t mean you have that disease or that you know better how to treat it than a doctor. Still many of us do this every time we get a weird sensation.
Sticking to what we already think we know is also much easier. It doesn’t take a scientist to tell us we like to be right. Once we get an idea in our head, facts to the contrary aren’t necessarily going to make much difference.
Recent research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, describes studies where when participants were confronted with facts that went against their views, they were likely to reframe their views as matter of opinion and personal morality (to which they had every right). On the other hand, once the presented facts were in line with their own thinking, they stated that their opinions were fact-based and didn’t invoke morality quite as much.
The researchers concluded that people’s belief systems include an aspect of “unfalsifiability” which they employ for defensive and offensive purposes. The defensive function serves to support their worldviews and a sense of identity, while anyone who ventured into the comments section of most Facebook posts could figure out what the offensive purpose is all about.
Further research by Dartmouth scientists revealed the implications of the “backfire effect”. The effect described a phenomenon whereby “corrections actually increase misperceptions.” Basically, when hearing two sides of an argument, people tend to side with the one they already agree with, corrective evidence notwithstanding. The researchers saw this related to the process by which people “bolster their preexisting views”. Especially if they have to argue their opinion vigorously (let’s say, in an internet flame war), their original opinion might become even more entrenched and extreme, facts be damned.
Of course, there’s also the Dunning-Kruger effect, whereby “low-ability” (aka not very smart people) don’t have the ability to know they are not smart and actually double down on their sense of superiority. On the flip side of that, smart people may actually underestimate their abilities. So the less intelligent get louder and the more intelligent keep to themselves.
Still, no matter how many psychology studies say this or that, none of it matters if you are disinclined to believe them. With too many facts and studies, it’s easier to stay in the mental fog. And that’s the space where demagogues operate. From the Ancient Greek warmongering leader Cleon to Hitler to Joseph McCarthy, a rabble rouser prays on the people who value beliefs more than facts. To produce desired actions from the crowd, they invoke the age-old tactic of invoking fear. Scare enough people that everything is wrong and you are the only one who can protect them, and you might find yourself in a leadership position.
“What is really fascinating when we look at the brain research around fear is that our brains proxy anything that feels unfamiliar, incoherent or inaccessible as being unsafe,” says Harvard psychologist Susan David.
Immigrants, foreign countries, people with different skin color or sexual orientation have certainly become the fearsome “unfamiliar” in the mouths of many a demagogue, some of them still in the running for the job of the leader of the free world.
Fear of the unfamiliar works especially well when confronted with an incessant barrage of information. The devil you know is your devil. You know how to live with him.
Fear is also more interesting to the news. How many of us would really tune in to watch how everything around the world is actually working out? But give us a story about a new threat and most of us would not change the channel.
Is there a solution to where we find ourselves? Can we get a grip on the information deluge? How do we make sure that someone will not come to lead us right into another world war or some totalitarian regime as demagogues often do? There may be little we can do. As history shows, the rise of demagogues is often predicated on a certain number of factors which are all in play in the modern world. This may be a something we’d just have to ride out. And vote out.
by September 11, 2016
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Entrepreneurs have frequent opportunities to doubt themselves, their plans, ideas and abilities. Perhaps you’ve occasionally asked yourself, “Am I really cut out for this job?” or “Am I on the right track?”
In 1998, I was laid off from a prominent public relations position at a well-known hotel in Palm Beach, Fla. Instead of looking for another job, I decided to start my own company, the Protocol School of Palm Beach.
In the beginning, I had my share of doubts. I often wondered if I had made the right decision and whether I should get a second job to supplement my income. I was short on money and patience. It took me nearly five years to make a profit. Now I’m grateful that I persevered. I’ve had my company for 17 years and now my business is stronger than ever.
It’s important to learn how to manage stress in moments of extreme doubt so that you can continue to pursue your goals. Here are four helpful tips that will enable you to overcome self-doubt whenever it strikes:
The temptation to compare your business to others in your industry is difficult to ignore. Try not to make unrealistic or unfair comparisons that cause you to doubt your own abilities. Worrying about what competitors are doing wastes time and can leave you anxious and exhausted.
Instead, try to network and learn from the success of others. What did they do well? What challenges did they overcome? A great way to exchange ideas and encourage others is to join a mastermind group. Or hire a business coach or a set up weekly calls with a mentor, someone whom you trust and admire.
Any entrepreneur will tell you that starting a business is one of the most difficult paths a person can choose. It takes an extreme amount of work and dedication to take any idea from inception to market.
There will be good days and bad days. Plus, at some point, you’ll realize you can’t please everyone 100 percent of the time, no matter how hard you try.
If you feel like giving up, step back from the situation. Acknowledge what you’ve already accomplished. Show gratitude for having encountered exciting opportunities and positive experiences. Keep an abundance journal to record victories — no matter how small. When you hit a bump in the road, you’ll be able to look back and remember why you chose your career in the first place.
Running a business entails making hundreds of decisions. Every choice you make will have consequences — some positive and others negative.
When faced with a fork in the road, many entrepreneurs suffer from analysis paralysis. The very feedback that they solicited from clients, colleagues and mentors now hinders their ability to make a final decision and move forward. They may become overwhelmed by the various opinions and frozen with self-doubt.
The success of a business is determined by the culmination of many small choices over the long term. Running a successful business is more like a marathon, not a sprint. If at some point you make a wrong decision, you can always try to fix it.
So commit to a course of action and make corrections as you go along. The more proactive you are, the more confident you’ll feel in your ability to lead the company.
Anxiety is often rooted in fear. Mistakes are inevitable. No matter how talented you are or how hard you work, you will occasionally make errors. Some mistakes are easy to correct whereas others take a considerable amount of time and money to fix.
Either way, mistakes will make you a wiser, more cautious businessperson. Successful people embrace failure as part of the journey toward success. Rather than obsess over problems, focus on solutions.
If you make a mistake, don’t cover up or misrepresent what happened. Instead, admit it as soon as possible. When you own up to your failures, you develop a professional reputation of reliability and trustworthiness. Rather than fixate on every misstep, simply take responsibility, learn from it and find a way to correct the issue. Then move on and let it go.
Contributor – Jacqueline Whitmore – January 20, 2015
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We are constantly looking for ways to enhance, grow and improve our assets, but we often overlook the most important one of them all. Your greatest asset is not your bank account, stock portfolio, 401(k) or real estate holdings — it’s you.
What are you doing to make sure you perform at your very best? Imagine if your personal performance started to suffer — your business would soon follow. Here are five simple ways to improve the performance of your greatest asset.
For your business to thrive, you need to be involved. This won’t happen if you are in and out of the hospital with health issues. Regular exercise and an intelligent diet helps your body and mind operate at peak performance.
Time is a rare commodity — but make sure to carve out at least 30 minutes a day for physical exercise. If you are bound to a desk and chair all day make sure to get up and stretch every hour. A mid-day walk also goes a long way to help combat the health risks associated with sitting for long periods of time.
You will operate so much more efficiently if you can eliminate all of the busy work that typically slows you down. When you don’t have tedious tasks pulling at you from all directions you can focus 100 percent of your attention on the objectives that directly impact the growth of your business.
Learning to delegate was difficult for me at first — I felt like I had to do everything myself to ensure it was done correctly. I learned to trust the people I have in place and delegation has allowed me to focus on more important parts of my business related to growth. More doors and opportunities have opened up simply because I pushed all of those little time sucking tasks off my daily plate.
If you ignore the issues that are causing you to become stressed out and angry it’s just going to keep building up until you explode. This isn’t good for anyone involved — it’s best to address anything that upsets and angers you on the spot.
Sure, take time to assess the situation and come up with a well thought-out solution, but don’t keep putting it off and letting it build up. When you don’t have pending issues or stress on your mind you can devote all of your energy to what’s important — working on your business and working towards your goals.
If you aren’t having fun then you need to reconsider what you are doing and try something new. Having fun is one of the most overlooked components of success. Sales, money and growth are usually on top of the priority list — but if you aren’t having fun you are going to burn out and your performance will suffer, eventually impacting your business.
The same concept applies to your employees and team members — if they are having fun they are going to enjoy what they are doing, and that will directly impact how they perform. Make sure you create a fun work environment but also consider hosting an out-of-the-office event once a month or even once a quarter — something as simple as an evening of bowling can really help to keep the fun vibe alive and well.
Ask every successful entrepreneur for one piece of advice and you will undoubtedly have several of them tell you to get a mentor. You aren’t going to have the answer to every question and some situations are going to leave you seeking help.
Rather than stress out or scramble for a solution you can simply pick up the phone knowing you will have someone on the other end that is there to help. Having a mentor that you know you can turn to any time eliminates a lot of unnecessary stress. Less stress equals better personal performance.
Jonathan Long – July 02, 2015
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Something that has always fascinated me over the years is what are some of the things that the best of the best do differently than everyone else.
While there are many different qualities and habits that the best possess, here are 10 of some of the most common things that I have found that have helped them differentiate themselves from everyone else:
Instead of letting their past mistakes, failures and hardships define their destiny, they constantly expand their vision as to what’s possible. They know that as long as they’re still breathing and get the opportunity to live another day, there is more for them to be, do and achieve.
They take time out of the year to sit down and visualize what they want in their lives. Once they know what they want, they write down their goals and come up with a detailed plan for everything they have to do for it to become a reality.
After they set their goals and come up with a detailed plan, they fully understand that absolutely nothing will work if they don’t work. Many people want to complain about their circumstances or how hard life can be, while the champions, the best of the best, just gets moving.
They have friends and people in their inner circle that help them grow, get better and achieve their biggest goals and dreams in life. They want nothing to do with people who suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with. The best of the best know how vitally important it is to surround themselves with a team of like-minded individuals who are going to help them win in all facets of life.
They are constantly searching for ways to grow and get better. They invest in their personal development and regardless of how successful they already are, you can always find them eager to learn something new, refine their skill set or simply grow in some way, somehow in some area in their life. They work harder on themselves than they do anything else.
They understand that true success and fulfillment comes from serving and helping others get to where they want to go. The best sales people serve. The best parents serve. The best executives serve. The best entrepreneurs serve. Regardless of what field or what one does for a living, the best of the best operate out of a servant mentality.
Many people might think that they are just lucky or privileged but the truth is that a great percentage of the men and women who are at the top of their game and dominating their selected field work harder than anybody else. They have a ridiculous and what some would call a sickening work ethic. They still put in the long hours regardless of their bank balances and are absolutely never satisfied.
The best of the best thrive under pressure. They love when their backs are against the wall and they have to perform at a high level. The best of the best actually love failure. They understand that the trials and tribulations that they go through are only present to help mold them into something better.
Instead of being temporarily pushed by motivation or some exterior reward, they are being pulled by their powerful mission or cause that is way bigger than them.
This last one sounds so cliché but it’s unbelievable the amount of fight, persistence and perseverance that the best of the best display over the course of their journey. No amount of setbacks and failures will stop them from waking up each morning and getting ready to work.
They love the fight that it takes to be the best and completely understand that it’s not about instant gratification but who can persevere through the most crap. They have a last-man-standing-wins mentality. The day the best of the best gives up is the day that they will be in their coffins.
Adopt these 10 things into your life and maybe you too could eventually be among the best of the best.
Contributor – Matt Mayberry – June 19, 2015
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Aromatherapy. You may not know exactly what it is, but you can’t escape it. Everywhere you turn, there is a plethora of scented candles, oils, sprays and incense all claiming to be good for your health and well-being. “Smell this and feel calm!” “Light this, and light his fire!” “Rub this scented lotion on your skin and re-energize your spirit!” Sounds like a bunch of nonsense just to sell products, doesn’t it?
Strangely enough, it’s not nonsense. In fact, there is more to aromatherapy than meets the nose. The use of scent to alter health and well-being for the better has been around for centuries. Now, science has confirmed what men and women have practiced for generations: scents have the ability to promote good physical, mental, and spiritual health. But how do you include aromatherapy in your everyday life? Is it easy? Does it make sense? And what exactly is it, anyway? This book will answer those questions, and more. Armed with the answers, you can change your life – and your health – for the better!
The Power of Aromatherapy
Have you ever been in a funk and then smelled something wonderful, like lavender or citrus, and suddenly felt better? That’s the basis of aromatherapy. Essentially aromatherapy is a gentle, non-invasive, natural healing art that utilizes the scents of essential oils to promote general well-being. While essential oils do, in fact, have medicinal properties, the simple act of smelling an essential oil can uplift the spirit, which can positively change feelings and outlook.
The power of aromatherapy lies in its ability to stimulate the imagination and to generate an almost instant sense of joy or peace. And, unlike other therapies, such as acupuncture or traditional Western methods, aromatherapy is non-invasive. That means, nothing to take internally, no needles, no pain. It’s also portable, so if you have recurring problems with stress, anxiety, migraines and the like, just take the applicable essential oil with you, and you have help right at the tip of your nose at all times.
Don’t let all that New Age talk fool you: aromatherapy is not just a touchy-feely, warm fuzzy type of practice; there is most definitely science behind it. Aromatherapy falls under a fairly new science called psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the interaction among the psychological, neurological and immunological systems. In layman’s terms, psychoneuroimmunology looks at the effects of both positive and negative experiences on the immune system and the psyche. Science has confirmed that pleasurable experiences like breathing in pleasant aromas or receiving a pampering massage actually strengthens the body’s immune system and uplifts the spirit. Conversely, things like unhappiness, lack of touch and stale air lowers the body’s resistance to disease and also dulls the spirit. So, incorporating aromatherapy into your daily activities can actually help bolster your immune system and promote a positive, clear outlook on life.
You may have heard of holistic medicine, which looks at the causes and prevention of illness, and not just the symptoms. It’s a whole-body approach to health, one which gives you responsibility and a certain amount of control over your health. Aromatherapy is part of holistic medicine. When married to a healthy diet and lifestyle, it’s a fabulous, sensual and creative way to keep on top of your health.
When did Aromatherapy arrive on the scene?
The way aromatherapy is all the talk these days, you’d think it was a brand new concept in health and wellness. It’s not. It’s almost as old as time itself.
While there is reason to believe that the use of aromatics has been in place since the dawn of mankind, physical evidence dates back to the ancient Egyptians. Clay tablets have been found that record the importation of cedar wood and cypress into Egypt and confirms the role essential oils played in international trade. Egyptian high priests also recorded the many uses of essential oils on to papyrus. One intriguing fact is that Imhotep, King Zoser’s chief architect, renowned physician and astronomer, is also known as “the grandfather of aromatherapy-” This great physician is credited with significant advances in medical knowledge. He regularly incorporated the use of aromatics into his practice.
Other cultures have used aromatics as well. The Chinese used aromatic herbs and massage well before the birth of Christ. The Indian therapy known as Ayurvedic medicine utilizes massage techniques, pressure points and essential oils to bring about good health. Hippocrates, the Greek physician known as “The Father of Medicine,” also promoted the daily use of aromatic baths and massage. These are just a few historical examples; the list also includes ancient Romans, various religious orders in the Middle Ages and continues through the centuries to these modern times.
Why do aromatics work?
It’s not enough to know that aromatherapy has been around for ages, we also want to know why aromatics work. It doesn’t seem possible that something as simple as the soothing smell of an essential oil could work wonders on health and well-being, yet it is not only possible, it happens because it utilizes our strongest sense: our sense of smell.
Of all five senses, sense of smell hits the brain first. Faster than a speeding bullet, it’s the “Superman of Senses” with a direct path to the brain. Unlike many of our other senses, the olfactory system’s nerve fibers do not pass through the “switching station,” known as the dorsal thalmus. Instead, these nerve fibers run directly to the limbic area of the brain, which connects to the thalmus and neo-cortex. While these words may not have any meaning to you, this bit of information is important because it’s how aromas are able to affect conscious thought and reactions. The limbic system links directly to our memories, stored learned responses, emotions and feelings.
Even though the olfactory system is linked directly to the brain, olfactory also involves other body systems as well. For example, someone breathing in an essential oil like peppermint not only absorbs it through the nasal cavity, but may also absorb it through the bronchial tract or lungs. This causes the essential oil molecules to pass into the body’s circulatory system, increasing its benefits.
There is also an additional, and sensual, way to engage in aromatherapy: through the skin. This is done usually through massage, which has three very distinct benefits: that of touch, smell, and absorption. Essential oils can also be used in the bathtub, another relaxing and pampering activity. Besides being able to smell the essential oils being used on the skin, the extremely small molecules pass through the epidermis to the dermis, the layer of the skin that gives it its pliability. From there, the oil molecules pass into capillaries and into the rest of the circulatory system.
The body is not harmed by absorbing essential oils. The oils are expelled from the body in a variety of natural ways, like sweat, exhalation and so on. The length of time it takes to expel these oils varies from 3-14 hours, depending on the health of the body.
Essential oils do come with some warnings. One is do not use them directly on the eyes or the delicate mucous membranes of the body.
How do I use essential oils?
Aromatherapy is user-friendly, so there is no excuse to shy away from it. Once you understand a few basics, the use of essential oils for a healthier, happier you is easy. While we touched on a few ways essential oils can be used, in the following chapters you’ll discover how to get the most out of aromatherapy.
For solo artists (those of you who like to do things on your own), aromatherapy through scent is the way to go. For example, we know that peppermint is good for the digestive system, but did you know that if you smell it you will get quicker relief than if you ingest it? It’s true! A 1963 Japanese experiment discovered this result. There are several ways to use scent, and one of the best and most common ways is through a diffuser. So, while opening a bottle of essential oil and taking a big whiff can be of some help, a diffuser emits the scent continually, creating a pleasant, aromatic, healing environment.
However, some benefits are best received through skin application. For instance, ginger oil, known for its bone healing properties, can be applied directly to a small broken appendage like a toe. (Of course, this is in addition to Western therapy, which may include a splint of some sort.) Keep in mind that essential oils are highly concentrated oils. Make sure you carefully read the manufacturer’s instructions for proper usage. Very few essential oils should be applied to the skin or ingested at full strength. Most require dilution, and some should not to be used on the skin or ingested at all.
For those who like to share everything with family, friends, and loved ones, massage may be the therapy you are most drawn to. Touch itself is healing and, when coupled with essential oils, massage can be doubly nurturing. When using essential oils during massage, it’s important to add it to what’s known as a carrier oil. This dilutes the essential oil somewhat, and makes it go farther. The general rule is to add anywhere from 10-30 drops into an ounce of quality carrier oil.
Inhalation, direct application and massage are among the most common ways to use essential oils, but there are many other ways as well. Some, other uses for essential oils include, but aren’t limited to, facial tonics, Jacuzzis, hot tubs, potpourri, humidifiers, mouthwash, perfume, sitz baths, face and body spray, and in creams and lotions. Once you start using aromatherapy, you’ll find that it fits into many different aspects of your lifestyle!
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When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as “charisma.”
So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.
I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc..“
And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.
You have to remember, everybody has a story.
So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.
That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!
So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.
So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?
How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?
That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven’t developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.
Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?
It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.
So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.
If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancé pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.
This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.
So stay alert.
If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!
And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviors.
A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.
When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.
They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.
What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.
And that’s another key…..
Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.
And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.
This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.
When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.
Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.
I do it all the time with a huge success.
The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.
Body language is a language any nationality can understand.
People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.
Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.
And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.
So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.
That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical.
So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?
Like you’re a freakin’ superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.
This can be achieved through practice.
People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.
Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.
If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.
It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.
Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.
Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.
When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.
Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less.
Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.
I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?
And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.
So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.
If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.
There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.
We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.
Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.
If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.
Contributor – Joel Brown – June 10, 2015
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The best things in life may be free, but that doesn’t mean they won’t take time, sweat, and perseverance to acquire.
That’s especially the case when it comes to learning important life skills.
In an effort to ascertain which talents are worth the investment, one reader posed the question: What are the hardest and most useful skills to learn?
We’ve highlighted our favorite takeaways.
Effective time management is one of the most highly valued skills by employers. While there is no one right way, it’s important to find a system that works for you and stick to it, Alina Grzegorzewska explains.
“The hardest thing to learn for me was how to plan,” she writes. “Not to execute what I have planned, but to make so epic a to-do list and to schedule it so thoroughly that I’m really capable of completing all the tasks on the scheduled date.”
“You can be the most disciplined, brilliant, and even wealthy individual in the world, but if you don’t care for or empathize with other people, then you are basically nothing but a sociopath,” writes Kamia Taylor.
Empathy, as business owner Jane Wurdwand explains, is a fundamental human ability that has too readily been forsworn by modern business.
“Empathy — the ability to feel what others feel — is what makes good sales and service people truly great. Empathy as in team spirit — esprit d’corps — motivates people to try harder. Empathy drives employees to push beyond their own apathy, to go bigger, because they feel something bigger than just a paycheck,” she writes.
There are so many prescribed sleep hacks out there it’s often hard to keep track. But regardless of what you choose, establishing a ritual can help ensure you have restful nights.
Numerous studies show that being consistent with your sleep schedule makes it easier to fall asleep and wake up, and it helps promote better sleep in general.
“Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think of you,” writes Shobhit Singhal, “but what you think of yourself certainly does, and it takes time to build that level of confidence and ability to believe in yourself when nobody else does.”
On the other side of positive self-talk is negative self-talk, which Betsy Myers, founding director of The Center for Women and Business at Bentley University, believes can slowly chip away at your confidence.
Whether you’re trying a new exercise routine, studying for the LSATs, or working on an important project, Khaleel Syed writes that consistency is vital to maintaining any kind of success.
People often stop working hard when they reach the top, he explains, but to maintain that top position, they have to work harder and be more consistent in their work.
“I once was told in a job interview, ‘You can’t have this job if you can’t ask for help when you need it,'” Louise Christy writes. “Naturally, I said I could. Later, I found out that the previous person with that job had screwed up big-time because he was in over his head but couldn’t admit it and didn’t ask for help.”
She explains that knowing when you need help and then asking for it is surprisingly difficult to learn and do because no one wants to be perceived as weak or incompetent.
But a recent study from the Harvard Business School suggests doing so makes you look more, not less, capable. According to the study authors, when you ask people for advice, you validate their intelligence or expertise, which makes you more likely to win them over.
“You can’t go around whining about every other thing that seems not-so-right to you in this world,” writes Roshna Nazir. “Sometimes you just need to shut up.”
There are many instances when keeping to yourself is the best course. “When we are angry, upset, agitated, or vexed,” writes Anwesha Jana, “we blurt out anything and everything that comes to our mind.” And later, you tend to regret it.
Keeping your mouth shut when you’re agitated is one of the most valuable skills to learn, and of course, one of the most difficult.
Along with shutting up comes listening, says Richard Careaga.
“Most of us in the workplace are so overwhelmed with things to do — instant messaging, phones ringing. I mean, our brain can only tolerate so much information before it snaps,” Nicole Lipkin, author of “What Keeps Leaders Up At Night,” previously told us
One tip for active listening is repeating back what you heard to the other person. “It makes things so much easier when everyone is on the same page,” she said.
“It takes ages to learn and master this,” writes Aarushi Ruddra.
Sticking your nose into other people’s work isn’t helpful and wastes time and resources, she says. “You have no right to put forth your two or four cents, even if you are the last righteous person standing.”
To do what you want to do and accomplish what you want to accomplish, you need to consciously direct your thinking, writes Mark Givert.
“The challenge is that we are the product of our past experience and all of our thinking is the result of this,” he says. “However, the past does not equal the future.”
Contributor – Rachel Gillett – June 17, 2015
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We find out how strong we are in the moments of uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment.
Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life.
The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe.
But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.
Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.
To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.
20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go And Move On
1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.
2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.
3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.
4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.
5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.
6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.
7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.
8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.
9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.
10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.
11. When you have lost your passion and joy.
12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.
13. When you stop having fun.
14. When you fear this is the best it will be.
15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.
16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.
17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.
18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.
19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.
20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.
This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to take a step forward and let go. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.
Source: Mind Body Green
Photo Credit: Banksy
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The Boston Red Sox. Robert Downey Jr. Martha Stewart. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Perhaps the most famous example in the business world is Steve Jobs, who was forced out of Apple — the company he founded — in 1985. He was 30 years old, and as he said at the time, “What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. … I was a very public failure.” But he returned in 1997, and his resilience propelled him to lead Apple to unprecedented success.
Throughout my 35-year career across 10 industries, I’ve learned five steps for achieving the professional resilience that is necessary for long-term survival in any business. This is something any entrepreneur, CEO, VP, associate or recent college graduate can acquire as an advantage in the ever-competitive business world.
As a beginning step to developing professional resilience, consistently push yourself into uncomfortable situations. From these situations you will inevitably fail, and gain confidence from your failures. These scenarios happen when you are unfamiliar with the situation, or lack the basic skills and resources needed to achieve your anticipated outcome.
Once you’ve learned to push yourself out of your comfort zone, you can look at crises and challenges as favorable risks because you’ve overcome the stress and anxiety of uncomfortable situations. Even when we fail, we can learn and move forward. Whether there is an opportunity to build off of a challenge or crisis, or simply reframe the situation for others, your mindset makes all the difference. Make crises and challenges feel more like opportunities than burdens or risks.
Build vulnerability-based trust through honesty and transparency with your teammates and organization. When doing this, you will develop a resilient self, and in turn be on your way to developing organizational resilience. Dr. George Everly, the executive director of Resiliency Science Institutes, International, articulates the idea that resilience does not have a fixed end point. Resilience is never achieved, it’s a continuum that starts with developing a resilient self, then working toward developing a resilient organization.
Adhere to the idea of servant leadership,which is being more concerned with the success of others on your team than your own success. Based on research from Jon R. Katzenbach and Douglas K. Smith, we know this is an underlying necessity of high-performing team success. When building high-performing teams, there is a common attitude of team before self. Once the needs of the team become top priority for everyone, you will have a highly resilient team, and in turn, highly resilient individuals.
Being comfortable with circumstances that have ambiguous outcomes is a builder of resilience. You have the vision, and you know where you want to go as a professional or organization, yet you feel comfortable with the uncertainty of exactly how you’re going to get there. A developed tolerance for ambiguity is defined by the comfort you have to take that first step without knowledge of truly where that step will land.
People across all ends of the experience spectrum struggle with professional resilience. It’s in our nature to revert back to our comfort zones. But if you can continuously remind yourself to stray away from old habits, you’ll be an overall better employee and leader. As Fortune editor Peter Elkind wrote about Steve Jobs when he returned to Apple in 1997, “He had become a far better leader, less of a go-to-hell aesthete who cared only about making beautiful objects.”
Jobs’ incredible comeback was possible because he had learned from his experience and changed for the better. By developing your own capacity for resilience, you can do the same.
Contributor – Gib Mason June 11, 2015
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