When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as “charisma.”
So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.
Start With the Sweet Spot
I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc..“
And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.
You have to remember, everybody has a story.
So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.
That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!
So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.
So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?
How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?
That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven’t developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.
Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?
It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.
1. Stay Tuned
So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.
If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancé pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.
This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.
So stay alert.
2. Stay Smart and Sharp
If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!
And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviors.
A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.
3. Remember and Repeat
When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.
They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.
What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.
And that’s another key…..
Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.
And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.
This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.
When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.
Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.
I do it all the time with a huge success.
4. Master Your Other Language
The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.
Body language is a language any nationality can understand.
People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.
Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.
And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.
So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.
That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical.
So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?
Like you’re a freakin’ superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.
This can be achieved through practice.
5. Your Eyes Say Everything
People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.
Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.
If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.
It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.
6. No More Complaining
Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.
Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.
When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.
Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less.
7. Good Words Go Far
Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.
I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?
And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.
So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.
If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.
There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.
We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.
Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.
If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.
Contributor – Joel Brown – June 10, 2015