Category: Psychology

Side Effects of the Information Age

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Demagogues or rabble rousers have always had a leg up in the political arena. If you can whip up a frenzy of prejudice and ignorance and raise the specter of looming threats or conspiratorial “elites”, while not being particularly beholden to facts, you’ll get a big chunk of the population on your side. And in an age where our daily lives are overwhelmed by an incessant glut of information, demagogues have more power than ever. Amazing accessibility of most information has devalued facts, blurring lines between experts and demagogues. Getting away with untruths may be easier than ever.

Is there an actual information overload now? It’s not just the incessant texting, emailing, Facebook-checking and the hundreds of channels on TV with nothing on. As psychology professor Daniel Levitin points out:

“In 1976, there were 9,000 products in the average grocery store, and now it’s ballooned to 40,000 products. And yet most of us can get almost all our shopping done in just 150 items, so you’re having to ignore tens of thousands of times every time you go shopping.”

Even the store is overloading us. Levitin proposes that in the last 10 years we’ve created more information than in all the human history that preceded it.

“I’ve read estimates there were 30 Exabyte’s of information 10 years ago and today, there’s 300 Exabyte’s of information,” says Levitin.

On top of all this information and choices, Earl Miller, an MIT neuroscientist, notes that our brains were actually not even “wired” to multitask.

“When people think they’re multitasking, they’re actually just switching from one task to another very rapidly. And every time they do, there’s a cognitive cost in doing so,” explains Miller.

In fact, multitasking was found to increase the production of cortisol, a stress hormone, as well as adrenaline, which can overstimulate the brain and cause “mental fog”.

As we go around in our mental fog, why would we even listen to experts like Levitin and Miller? In the information overload age, a layman is empowered as much as a so-called “expert”. Let’s say you come across a Neil DeGrasse Tyson article. If you don’t like something about it, and especially if you don’t understand it, you are free to leave a comment under his Facebook article about just how wrong you think he is. You have the power to immediately set this “expert” straight. Doesn’t matter that you don’t have a degree in astrophysics. Your emotional reaction to his “facts” is all that matters here.

What may be happening is what social and political analyst (and another “expert”) Professor Tom Nichols termed “the death of expertise”.

“I fear we are witnessing the “death of expertise”: a Google-fueled, Wikipedia-based, blog-sodden collapse of any division between professionals and laymen, students and teachers, knowers and wonderers – in other words, between those of any achievement in an area and those with none at all. By this, I do not mean the death of actual expertise, the knowledge of specific things that sets some people apart from others in various areas. There will always be doctors, lawyers, engineers, and other specialists in various fields. Rather, what I fear has died is any acknowledgement of expertise as anything that should alter our thoughts or change the way we live,” writes Nichols.

Even doctors are no longer as much of an authority as people go online to diagnose themselves, resulting in the rise of cyberchondria. Just because you can find some symptoms in a search engine doesn’t mean you have that disease or that you know better how to treat it than a doctor. Still many of us do this every time we get a weird sensation.

Sticking to what we already think we know is also much easier. It doesn’t take a scientist to tell us we like to be right. Once we get an idea in our head, facts to the contrary aren’t necessarily going to make much difference.

Recent research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, describes studies where when participants were confronted with facts that went against their views, they were likely to reframe their views as matter of opinion and personal morality (to which they had every right). On the other hand, once the presented facts were in line with their own thinking, they stated that their opinions were fact-based and didn’t invoke morality quite as much.

The researchers concluded that people’s belief systems include an aspect of “unfalsifiability” which they employ for defensive and offensive purposes. The defensive function serves to support their worldviews and a sense of identity, while anyone who ventured into the comments section of most Facebook posts could figure out what the offensive purpose is all about.

Further research by Dartmouth scientists revealed the implications of the “backfire effect”. The effect described a phenomenon whereby “corrections actually increase misperceptions.” Basically, when hearing two sides of an argument, people tend to side with the one they already agree with, corrective evidence notwithstanding. The researchers saw this related to the process by which people “bolster their preexisting views”. Especially if they have to argue their opinion vigorously (let’s say, in an internet flame war), their original opinion might become even more entrenched and extreme, facts be damned.

Of course, there’s also the Dunning-Kruger effect, whereby “low-ability” (aka not very smart people) don’t have the ability to know they are not smart and actually double down on their sense of superiority. On the flip side of that, smart people may actually underestimate their abilities. So the less intelligent get louder and the more intelligent keep to themselves.

Still, no matter how many psychology studies say this or that, none of it matters if you are disinclined to believe them. With too many facts and studies, it’s easier to stay in the mental fog. And that’s the space where demagogues operate. From the Ancient Greek warmongering leader Cleon to Hitler to Joseph McCarthy, a rabble rouser prays on the people who value beliefs more than facts. To produce desired actions from the crowd, they invoke the age-old tactic of invoking fear. Scare enough people that everything is wrong and you are the only one who can protect them, and you might find yourself in a leadership position.

“What is really fascinating when we look at the brain research around fear is that our brains proxy anything that feels unfamiliar, incoherent or inaccessible as being unsafe,” says Harvard psychologist Susan David.

Immigrants, foreign countries, people with different skin color or sexual orientation have certainly become the fearsome “unfamiliar” in the mouths of many a demagogue, some of them still in the running for the job of the leader of the free world.

Fear of the unfamiliar works especially well when confronted with an incessant barrage of information. The devil you know is your devil. You know how to live with him.

Fear is also more interesting to the news. How many of us would really tune in to watch how everything around the world is actually working out? But give us a story about a new threat and most of us would not change the channel.

Is there a solution to where we find ourselves? Can we get a grip on the information deluge? How do we make sure that someone will not come to lead us right into another world war or some totalitarian regime as demagogues often do? There may be little we can do. As history shows, the rise of demagogues is often predicated on a certain number of factors which are all in play in the modern world. This may be a something we’d just have to ride out. And vote out.

by Paul Ratner September 11, 2016

5 Ways to Reach Millions of People

5 Ways to Reach Millions of People

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It’s very easy if you know what you’re doing. The fact is that great influencers never stop branding and promoting. They are always marketing themselves, using every detail in their business to add value to those who want them most. If you want to reach millions of people, you need to create unstoppable content and promote yourself endlessly.

To reach the masses, you must have a strong desire to do so. You must also think of how you can expand your reputation. Ask yourself right now, “What do people think of when they think of me?” Usually, most people would come up with simple answers: smart, funny, articulate, good-looking, organized, and more. However, what can those attributes do to that help you reach millions of people?

The fact is that it doesn’t expand your influence until you put it all together. Those qualities must be concocted into your brand and show people who you really are. Your personality must ooze out of your work, allowing people to say, “I can relate with a guy or gal like that.” This is the key to reaching millions of people.

Your story won’t always connect with everyone automatically, but if you develop it in a way that has a mass appeal, you can ultimately reach millions of people. Here are 5 Ways to Reach Millions of People:

1. Make associations.

When people think of you, what’s the first thing that comes to their minds? What do you want to be known for? Donald Trump is a master at this. Regardless of your political position, you must understand that Mr. Trump has made many associations in the minds of millions of people, allowing him to become the most famous billionaire on the planet.

Some people know him from his show, The Apprentice. Others buy his shirts and ties. Many see him as the future ‘President’. Others remember him as the owner of casinos, Trump Towers, or even golf courses. People know him as the ‘Billionaire’ or even the ‘New Yorker’. Many people enjoy the drama and controversy he brings. Some might even call him grandpa. You get the point.

Making associations in the minds of others will increase your influence substantially. Ask yourself, “What do I want to be known for?” As soon as you come up with the answers, build your brand and produce that kind of image in everything you do. Soon enough, people will automatically make those associations with you, which will maximize your influence.

2. Become an expert.

Everyone is looking for truth. They want answers in their personal and professional lives. When they find the expert they’re looking for, they become loyal to them. Once you build a small following, take that feedback from others to enhance your brand by making the correct adjustments. Walk, talk, and act like the expert you’ve become.

Release content that no one has ever seen. Write articles that display new ideas in your industry. Shoot videos that catch your audiences’ attention. Go out there and give speeches to groups of people. Use your testimonials on your website and social media. Take photos and post them. Write a book. People are waiting to see what you’ve got, so share it with them. My company helps you do this. Be omnipresent. Go viral.

Becoming an expert doesn’t take as long as it used to be. Nowadays, a person can read the top ten books in their field, talk with dozens of people, and use an appropriate title and bio to demonstrate their brand. Even though you can become an expert overnight, you must consistently produce top-notch content for many years if you want to reach millions of people. In short, experts answer questions that you haven’t even thought about yet.

3. Only hold profitable relationships.

Surprisingly, most people don’t know how valuable their networks are, otherwise they would ALL have fortune and fame! The truth is that every moment that you invest with others, either virtually or face-to-face, must be profitable. If it isn’t, be sure to sever all relationships that aren’t producing wealth.

Of course, wealth can come in all forms. It’s not only the money you receive, but the ideas you gather, connections you make, and people you impact. You must use this wealth to market yourself. Make a list of the most profitable people in your life. By doing this, your unprofitable (or least profitable) relationships will fade away. It works every time. Winners and losers never get along.

To reach millions of people, you need to send out a minimum of 100 phone calls and emails per week. You should be having a minimum of three solid conversations per day if you want to extend your reach. Every email you send will build your brand. It is also good to know that there are millions of people waiting on the phone, if you would only use it wisely.

4. Build trust.

How do you build trust online? First, you must get real with yourself, and then with your audience. I’ve seen people make the futile mistake of acting like someone they’ll never be. Then they wonder why no one has approached them for help. To build trust, you must share your message in the simplest way possible. Everyone must understand your message.

Just think, how many times have you visited someone’s website and have gotten confused with their message? Maybe you’ve seen a website and have associated them with being “too expensive.” Since we all think in pictures, you must leave a message that arouses their attention. Always remember that a confused mind always says ‘No’. If people don’t find what they’re looking for, they’ll leave.

People want to do business with you, but they need validation. They’ll look at your reviews. They’ll try to dig up testimonials and other kinds of information. They’ll even Google you 15 pages deep! Either way, this is the way human nature will always be. If you give people a reason to trust you, they’ll be telling their friends about you. People do business with those they know, like, and trust.

5. Create your story.

A compelling story is what creates the most interesting brands. Look at the movie ‘Titanic’. It’s a motivational love story that has reached millions of people because of it’s ability to relate to human experiences. If you’ve seen the movie, you can easily remember distinctive points if I brought it up. Do you recall when the Rose almost jumped off the ship? We all do.

Your story must be highly-developed and contain many human elements. If you’ve read a good story, you’ll usually ask, “I wonder how he or she did it? Let’s find out more.” Because of this ‘mysterious’ factor, you’ve built excitement and interest which will build curiosity. Plus, we all know people love a juicy story. In fact, people go out of their way to obsessively learn about you.

Stories are remembered from generation to generation. Once you create a story that attracts people, you must ensure that it displays humility and transparency. Sure, you can have a great story, but if you come off as a ‘god’ or seem untouchable, no one will feel that they can meet you. Thus, the best story allows your audience to connect spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. What’s your story?

Reaching millions of people takes much work and not everyone is born to do it. However, if you feel like you have the talents, skills, gifts, and abilities to make it happen, be sure to study people who are reaching millions. Whether you like them personally or not, try to connect with them and ask for help. After all, we live in a virtual world that’s becoming more touchable than ever before!

Daniel Ally Contributor

The Power of Aromatherapy

bottles of essence oil with pink flowers - beauty treatment

Aromatherapy. You may not know exactly what it is, but you can’t escape it. Everywhere you turn, there is a plethora of scented candles, oils, sprays and incense all claiming to be good for your health and well-being. “Smell this and feel calm!” “Light this, and light his fire!” “Rub this scented lotion on your skin and re-energize your spirit!” Sounds like a bunch of nonsense just to sell products, doesn’t it?

Strangely enough, it’s not nonsense. In fact, there is more to aromatherapy than meets the nose. The use of scent to alter health and well-being for the better has been around for centuries. Now, science has confirmed what men and women have practiced for generations: scents have the ability to promote good physical, mental, and spiritual health. But how do you include aromatherapy in your everyday life? Is it easy? Does it make sense? And what exactly is it, anyway? This book will answer those questions, and more. Armed with the answers, you can change your life – and your health – for the better!

The Power of Aromatherapy

Have you ever been in a funk and then smelled something wonderful, like lavender or citrus, and suddenly felt better? That’s the basis of aromatherapy. Essentially aromatherapy is a gentle, non-invasive, natural healing art that utilizes the scents of essential oils to promote general well-being. While essential oils do, in fact, have medicinal properties, the simple act of smelling an essential oil can uplift the spirit, which can positively change feelings and outlook.

The power of aromatherapy lies in its ability to stimulate the imagination and to generate an almost instant sense of joy or peace. And, unlike other therapies, such as acupuncture or traditional Western methods, aromatherapy is non-invasive. That means, nothing to take internally, no needles, no pain. It’s also portable, so if you have recurring problems with stress, anxiety, migraines and the like, just take the applicable essential oil with you, and you have help right at the tip of your nose at all times.

Don’t let all that New Age talk fool you: aromatherapy is not just a touchy-feely, warm fuzzy type of practice; there is most definitely science behind it. Aromatherapy falls under a fairly new science called psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the interaction among the psychological, neurological and immunological systems. In layman’s terms, psychoneuroimmunology looks at the effects of both positive and negative experiences on the immune system and the psyche. Science has confirmed that pleasurable experiences like breathing in pleasant aromas or receiving a pampering massage actually strengthens the body’s immune system and uplifts the spirit. Conversely, things like unhappiness, lack of touch and stale air lowers the body’s resistance to disease and also dulls the spirit. So, incorporating aromatherapy into your daily activities can actually help bolster your immune system and promote a positive, clear outlook on life.

You may have heard of holistic medicine, which looks at the causes and prevention of illness, and not just the symptoms. It’s a whole-body approach to health, one which gives you responsibility and a certain amount of control over your health. Aromatherapy is part of holistic medicine. When married to a healthy diet and lifestyle, it’s a fabulous, sensual and creative way to keep on top of your health.

When did Aromatherapy arrive on the scene?

The way aromatherapy is all the talk these days, you’d think it was a brand new concept in health and wellness. It’s not. It’s almost as old as time itself.

While there is reason to believe that the use of aromatics has been in place since the dawn of mankind, physical evidence dates back to the ancient Egyptians. Clay tablets have been found that record the importation of cedar wood and cypress into Egypt and confirms the role essential oils played in international trade. Egyptian high priests also recorded the many uses of essential oils on to papyrus. One intriguing fact is that Imhotep, King Zoser’s chief architect, renowned physician and astronomer, is also known as “the grandfather of aromatherapy-” This great physician is credited with significant advances in medical knowledge. He regularly incorporated the use of aromatics into his practice.

Other cultures have used aromatics as well. The Chinese used aromatic herbs and massage well before the birth of Christ. The Indian therapy known as Ayurvedic medicine utilizes massage techniques, pressure points and essential oils to bring about good health. Hippocrates, the Greek physician known as “The Father of Medicine,” also promoted the daily use of aromatic baths and massage. These are just a few historical examples; the list also includes ancient Romans, various religious orders in the Middle Ages and continues through the centuries to these modern times.

Why do aromatics work?

It’s not enough to know that aromatherapy has been around for ages, we also want to know why aromatics work. It doesn’t seem possible that something as simple as the soothing smell of an essential oil could work wonders on health and well-being, yet it is not only possible, it happens because it utilizes our strongest sense: our sense of smell.

Of all five senses, sense of smell hits the brain first. Faster than a speeding bullet, it’s the “Superman of Senses” with a direct path to the brain. Unlike many of our other senses, the olfactory system’s nerve fibers do not pass through the “switching station,” known as the dorsal thalmus. Instead, these nerve fibers run directly to the limbic area of the brain, which connects to the thalmus and neo-cortex. While these words may not have any meaning to you, this bit of information is important because it’s how aromas are able to affect conscious thought and reactions. The limbic system links directly to our memories, stored learned responses, emotions and feelings.

Even though the olfactory system is linked directly to the brain, olfactory also involves other body systems as well. For example, someone breathing in an essential oil like peppermint not only absorbs it through the nasal cavity, but may also absorb it through the bronchial tract or lungs. This causes the essential oil molecules to pass into the body’s circulatory system, increasing its benefits.

There is also an additional, and sensual, way to engage in aromatherapy: through the skin. This is done usually through massage, which has three very distinct benefits: that of touch, smell, and absorption. Essential oils can also be used in the bathtub, another relaxing and pampering activity. Besides being able to smell the essential oils being used on the skin, the extremely small molecules pass through the epidermis to the dermis, the layer of the skin that gives it its pliability. From there, the oil molecules pass into capillaries and into the rest of the circulatory system.

The body is not harmed by absorbing essential oils. The oils are expelled from the body in a variety of natural ways, like sweat, exhalation and so on. The length of time it takes to expel these oils varies from 3-14 hours, depending on the health of the body.

Essential oils do come with some warnings. One is do not use them directly on the eyes or the delicate mucous membranes of the body.

How do I use essential oils?

Aromatherapy is user-friendly, so there is no excuse to shy away from it. Once you understand a few basics, the use of essential oils for a healthier, happier you is easy. While we touched on a few ways essential oils can be used, in the following chapters you’ll discover how to get the most out of aromatherapy.

For solo artists (those of you who like to do things on your own), aromatherapy through scent is the way to go. For example, we know that peppermint is good for the digestive system, but did you know that if you smell it you will get quicker relief than if you ingest it? It’s true! A 1963 Japanese experiment discovered this result. There are several ways to use scent, and one of the best and most common ways is through a diffuser. So, while opening a bottle of essential oil and taking a big whiff can be of some help, a diffuser emits the scent continually, creating a pleasant, aromatic, healing environment.

However, some benefits are best received through skin application. For instance, ginger oil, known for its bone healing properties, can be applied directly to a small broken appendage like a toe. (Of course, this is in addition to Western therapy, which may include a splint of some sort.) Keep in mind that essential oils are highly concentrated oils. Make sure you carefully read the manufacturer’s instructions for proper usage. Very few essential oils should be applied to the skin or ingested at full strength. Most require dilution, and some should not to be used on the skin or ingested at all.

For those who like to share everything with family, friends, and loved ones, massage may be the therapy you are most drawn to. Touch itself is healing and, when coupled with essential oils, massage can be doubly nurturing. When using essential oils during massage, it’s important to add it to what’s known as a carrier oil. This dilutes the essential oil somewhat, and makes it go farther. The general rule is to add anywhere from 10-30 drops into an ounce of quality carrier oil.

Inhalation, direct application and massage are among the most common ways to use essential oils, but there are many other ways as well. Some, other uses for essential oils include, but aren’t limited to, facial tonics, Jacuzzis, hot tubs, potpourri, humidifiers, mouthwash, perfume, sitz baths, face and body spray, and in creams and lotions. Once you start using aromatherapy, you’ll find that it fits into many different aspects of your lifestyle!

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

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When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as “charisma.

So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.

Start With the Sweet Spot

I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc..

And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.

You have to remember, everybody has a story.

So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.

That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!

So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.

So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?

How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?

That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven’t developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.

Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?

It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.

1. Stay Tuned

So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.

If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancé pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.

This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.

So stay alert.

2. Stay Smart and Sharp

If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!

And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviors.

A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.

3. Remember and Repeat

When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.

They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.

What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.

And that’s another key…..

Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.

And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.

This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.

When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.

Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.

I do it all the time with a huge success.

4. Master Your Other Language

The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.

Body language is a language any nationality can understand.

People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.

Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.

And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.

So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.

That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical.

So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?

Like you’re a freakin’ superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.

This can be achieved through practice.

5. Your Eyes Say Everything

People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.

Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.

If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.

It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.

6. No More Complaining

Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.

Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.

When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.

Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less.

7. Good Words Go Far

Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.

I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?

And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.

Conclusion

So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.

If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.

There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.

We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.

Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.

If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.

Contributor – Joel Brown – June 10, 2015

10 Skills That Are Hard to Learn But Pay Off Forever

10 Skills That Are Hard to Learn But Pay Off Forever

The best things in life may be free, but that doesn’t mean they won’t take time, sweat, and perseverance to acquire.

That’s especially the case when it comes to learning important life skills.

In an effort to ascertain which talents are worth the investment, one reader posed the question: What are the hardest and most useful skills to learn?

We’ve highlighted our favorite takeaways.

1. Time management

Effective time management is one of the most highly valued skills by employers. While there is no one right way, it’s important to find a system that works for you and stick to it, Alina Grzegorzewska explains.

“The hardest thing to learn for me was how to plan,” she writes. “Not to execute what I have planned, but to make so epic a to-do list and to schedule it so thoroughly that I’m really capable of completing all the tasks on the scheduled date.”

2. Empathy

“You can be the most disciplined, brilliant, and even wealthy individual in the world, but if you don’t care for or empathize with other people, then you are basically nothing but a sociopath,” writes Kamia Taylor.

Empathy, as business owner Jane Wurdwand explains, is a fundamental human ability that has too readily been forsworn by modern business.

“Empathy — the ability to feel what others feel — is what makes good sales and service people truly great. Empathy as in team spirit — esprit d’corps — motivates people to try harder. Empathy drives employees to push beyond their own apathy, to go bigger, because they feel something bigger than just a paycheck,” she writes.

3. Mastering your sleep

There are so many prescribed sleep hacks out there it’s often hard to keep track. But regardless of what you choose, establishing a ritual can help ensure you have restful nights.

Numerous studies show that being consistent with your sleep schedule makes it easier to fall asleep and wake up, and it helps promote better sleep in general.

4. Positive self-talk

“Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think of you,” writes Shobhit Singhal, “but what you think of yourself certainly does, and it takes time to build that level of confidence and ability to believe in yourself when nobody else does.”

On the other side of positive self-talk is negative self-talk, which Betsy Myers, founding director of The Center for Women and Business at Bentley University, believes can slowly chip away at your confidence.

5. Consistency

Whether you’re trying a new exercise routine, studying for the LSATs, or working on an important project, Khaleel Syed writes that consistency is vital to maintaining any kind of success.

People often stop working hard when they reach the top, he explains, but to maintain that top position, they have to work harder and be more consistent in their work.

6. Asking for help

“I once was told in a job interview, ‘You can’t have this job if you can’t ask for help when you need it,'” Louise Christy writes. “Naturally, I said I could. Later, I found out that the previous person with that job had screwed up big-time because he was in over his head but couldn’t admit it and didn’t ask for help.”

She explains that knowing when you need help and then asking for it is surprisingly difficult to learn and do because no one wants to be perceived as weak or incompetent.

But a recent study from the Harvard Business School suggests doing so makes you look more, not less, capable. According to the study authors, when you ask people for advice, you validate their intelligence or expertise, which makes you more likely to win them over.

7. Knowing when to shut up — and actually doing it

“You can’t go around whining about every other thing that seems not-so-right to you in this world,” writes Roshna Nazir. “Sometimes you just need to shut up.”

There are many instances when keeping to yourself is the best course. “When we are angry, upset, agitated, or vexed,” writes Anwesha Jana, “we blurt out anything and everything that comes to our mind.” And later, you tend to regret it.

Keeping your mouth shut when you’re agitated is one of the most valuable skills to learn, and of course, one of the most difficult.

8. Listening

Along with shutting up comes listening, says Richard Careaga.

“Most of us in the workplace are so overwhelmed with things to do — instant messaging, phones ringing. I mean, our brain can only tolerate so much information before it snaps,” Nicole Lipkin, author of “What Keeps Leaders Up At Night,” previously told us

One tip for active listening is repeating back what you heard to the other person. “It makes things so much easier when everyone is on the same page,” she said.

9. Minding your business

“It takes ages to learn and master this,” writes Aarushi Ruddra.

Sticking your nose into other people’s work isn’t helpful and wastes time and resources, she says. “You have no right to put forth your two or four cents, even if you are the last righteous person standing.”

10. Mastering your thoughts

To do what you want to do and accomplish what you want to accomplish, you need to consciously direct your thinking, writes Mark Givert.

“The challenge is that we are the product of our past experience and all of our thinking is the result of this,” he says. “However, the past does not equal the future.”

Contributor – Rachel Gillett – June 17, 2015

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go & Move On

feature_image_template9-620x400We find out how strong we are in the moments of uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment.

Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life.

The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe.

But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.

Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.

To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.

2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.

3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.

4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.

5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.

6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.

7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.

8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.

9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.

10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.

11. When you have lost your passion and joy.

12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.

13. When you stop having fun.

14. When you fear this is the best it will be.

15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.

16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.

17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.

18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.

19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.

20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.

This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to take a step forward and let go. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.

Source: Mind Body Green

Photo Credit: Banksy

5 Ways to Build the Resilience You Need to Succeed

5 Ways to Build the Resilience You Need to Succeed

Image credit: Iron Man | Marvel Studios

The Boston Red Sox. Robert Downey Jr. Martha Stewart. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Perhaps the most famous example in the business world is Steve Jobs, who was forced out of Apple — the company he founded — in 1985. He was 30 years old, and as he said at the time, “What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. … I was a very public failure.” But he returned in 1997, and his resilience propelled him to lead Apple to unprecedented success.

Throughout my 35-year career across 10 industries, I’ve learned five steps for achieving the professional resilience that is necessary for long-term survival in any business. This is something any entrepreneur, CEO, VP, associate or recent college graduate can acquire as an advantage in the ever-competitive business world.

1. Be uncomfortable regularly and often.

As a beginning step to developing professional resilience, consistently push yourself into uncomfortable situations. From these situations you will inevitably fail, and gain confidence from your failures. These scenarios happen when you are unfamiliar with the situation, or lack the basic skills and resources needed to achieve your anticipated outcome.

2. Change your mindset.

Once you’ve learned to push yourself out of your comfort zone, you can look at crises and challenges as favorable risks because you’ve overcome the stress and anxiety of uncomfortable situations. Even when we fail, we can learn and move forward. Whether there is an opportunity to build off of a challenge or crisis, or simply reframe the situation for others, your mindset makes all the difference. Make crises and challenges feel more like opportunities than burdens or risks.

3. Be honest and transparent.

Build vulnerability-based trust through honesty and transparency with your teammates and organization. When doing this, you will develop a resilient self, and in turn be on your way to developing organizational resilience. Dr. George Everly, the executive director of Resiliency Science Institutes, International, articulates the idea that resilience does not have a fixed end point. Resilience is never achieved, it’s a continuum that starts with developing a resilient self, then working toward developing a resilient organization.

4. Put your team’s needs first.

Adhere to the idea of servant leadership,which is being more concerned with the success of others on your team than your own success. Based on research from Jon R. Katzenbach and Douglas K. Smith, we know this is an underlying necessity of high-performing team success. When building high-performing teams, there is a common attitude of team before self. Once the needs of the team become top priority for everyone, you will have a highly resilient team, and in turn, highly resilient individuals.

5. Don’t fear the ambiguous.

Being comfortable with circumstances that have ambiguous outcomes is a builder of resilience. You have the vision, and you know where you want to go as a professional or organization, yet you feel comfortable with the uncertainty of exactly how you’re going to get there. A developed tolerance for ambiguity is defined by the comfort you have to take that first step without knowledge of truly where that step will land.

People across all ends of the experience spectrum struggle with professional resilience. It’s in our nature to revert back to our comfort zones. But if you can continuously remind yourself to stray away from old habits, you’ll be an overall better employee and leader. As Fortune editor Peter Elkind wrote about Steve Jobs when he returned to Apple in 1997, “He had become a far better leader, less of a go-to-hell aesthete who cared only about making beautiful objects.”

Jobs’ incredible comeback was possible because he had learned from his experience and changed for the better. By developing your own capacity for resilience, you can do the same.

 

Contributor – Gib Mason June 11, 2015

How To Ruin Your Life (Without Noticing)

Erin Kelly
Photo By: Erin Kelly
Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.
You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.
You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out on opportunities because you didn’t get that promotion five years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid. You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.
You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness. The person who has two times more possessions than you does not have double the bliss, or double the merit. We get caught up in what our friends are liking, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that.You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us.
Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life.

Bianca Sparacino

Emotional Energetic Healing: The Future of Medicine is Here

Emotional Energetic Healing - The Future of Medicine is Here

“Everything is energy.” ~ Albert Einstein

Energy medicine is at once time-honored and new. Whether using traditional forms like acupuncture, T’ai chi and reiki or modern applications such as Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), magnetic, vibrational or music therapy, working with the human energetic system to create wellness is an esteemed practice that produces tangible results.

According to Dr. Erin Olivio in the article Energy Medicine: “The field of energy medicine involving putative energy fields is based on the fundamental premise that all physical objects (bodies) and psychological processes (thoughts, emotions, beliefs and attitudes) are expressions of energy. Therefore, all bodies are believed to be infused with a “subtle” energy or life force. This life force is known by a variety of terms corresponding to different traditions. In traditional Chinese medicine it is called qi (pronounced CHEE), in the Judeo-Christian tradition it is called spirit, and in Ayurvedic medicine it is represented in the doshas.”

What the ancients recognized, science is now validating. Candace Pert, PhD, is one researcher who has significantly contributed to the legitimate study of Mind-Body Medicine.

How emotions affect physiology

“Most psychologists treat the mind as disembodied, a phenomenon with little or no connection to the physical body. Conversely, physicians treat the body with no regard to the mind or emotions. But the body and mind are not separate, and we cannot treat one without the other.” ~ Dr. Candice Pert

In Dr. Pert’s book, Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine, she explains how a class of proteins called peptides (including endorphins) act as a nervous system, delivering information throughout the body. Her theory is that the surface of each cell is covered with receptors for specific peptides. These free-floating molecules function as messengers. When we have a specific emotion, a cascade of peptides are released that ultimately influence our body.

Paul Trachtman explains how this sequence works in Smithsonian Magazine:

“… it’s through the emotion-modulating peptides that an embarrassing thought can cause blood vessels to dilate and turn a face beet red. In the same way, the molecules of emotion can mobilize immune cells to destroy an incipient tumor. Techniques like meditation or visualization may also act as forces to set those molecules in action.”

The question is: If emotions alter the functioning of the body, how do we experience healing by addressing subconscious negative emotional patterns?

This is the topic of a cutting-edge documentary on Mind-Body Medicine: E-Motion.

The energy of emotions

Leaders in the field of energetic medicine — including Sonia Choquette, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Bradley Nelson, Don Tolman, and others — explore the connection between emotions, the body and health in the documentary.

Taking into account the subconscious mind is 1000 times more powerful than the conscious mind, we are likely to ask: What actually controls it? The answer lies with unresolved emotions.

When we have traumatic perceptions buried in our subconscious mind, these emotional memories — when triggered — will cause a reaction in the body that sets-off a cascade of stress hormones, thereby altering our physiology.

How are these negative perceptions created? By our thoughts, because thoughts create emotions. And when we feel an emotion strongly enough, it will become trapped and disrupt the energy field of the body. Anger, aggression, anxiety, depression, sadness — these negative emotions will lodge themselves in the body and are the leading cause of physical pain. Eventually, if the blockage isn’t cleared, disease will develop.

Dr. Joseph Mercola provides an example:

“… those suffering from depression will often experience chest pains, even when there’s nothing physically wrong with their heart. Extreme grief can also have a devastating impact — not for nothing is the saying that someone “died from a broken heart.” In the days after losing a loved one, your risk of suffering a heart attack shoots up by 21 times!”

He also points out:

“Your body cannot tell the difference between an actual experience that triggers an emotional response, and an emotion fabricated through thought process alone — such as when worrying about something negative that might occur but has not actually happened, or conversely, thinking about something positive and pleasant.

“The fact that you can activate your body’s stress response (which produces chemicals that can make you sick) simply by thinking means that you wield tremendous power over your physical state in every moment. Moreover, it means that you can literally manifest disease, or healing, by thinking.”

Needless to say, in order to enjoy vibrant health, it’s vitally important to release emotional baggage.

Tips on how to ditch toxic emotional imprints

The team of experts in E-Motion believe there are active steps we can take to heal the body, the subconscious mind and our overall health. Here are a few:

  • Always remember that our mind is the key to healing.
  • Expect good things in life.
  • Slowdown when you feel a negative emotion arise and acknowledge it, then honor and release.
  • Be clear about your purpose in life. To discover your calling, answer the question: “If I weren’t afraid, I would …”
  • Focus on the color of food to heal the chakra centers. For example, exposure to sunlight + eating pineapple and oranges will help fortify the 2nd and 3rd chakras, which helps alleviate depression.
  • Participate regularly in a water fast to clear problematic emotions from the body.
  • Learn The Emotion Code technique by Dr. Bradley Nelson to rapidly release stuck emotions.

And finally, never underestimate the healing power of gratitude and liberal self-love.

E-Motion Movie Trailer

By Carolanne Wright  5th June 2015

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

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