Category: Relationships

Creativity as a Process, not an Event

Creativity

In 1666, one of the most influential scientists in history was strolling through a garden when he was struck with a flash of creative brilliance that would change the world.

While standing under the shade of an apple tree, Sir Isaac Newton saw an apple fall to the ground. “Why should that apple always descend perpendicularly to the ground,” Newton wondered. “Why should it not go sideways, or upwards, but constantly to the earth’s center? Assuredly, the reason is, that the earth draws it. There must be a drawing power in matter.”

And thus, the concept of gravity was born.

The story of the falling apple has become one of the lasting and iconic examples of the creative moment. It is a symbol of the inspired genius that fills your brain during those “light bulb moments” when creative conditions are just right.

What most people forget, however, is that Newton worked on his ideas about gravity for nearly twenty years until, in 1687, he published his groundbreaking book, The Principia: Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy. The falling apple was merely the beginning of a train of thought that continued for decades.

Newton isn’t the only one to wrestle with a great idea for years. Creative thinking is a process for all of us. In this article, I’ll share the science of creative thinking, discuss which conditions drive creativity and which ones hinder it, and offer practical tips for becoming more creative.

Creative thinking: destiny or development?

Creative thinking requires our brains to make connections between seemingly unrelated ideas. Is this a skill that we are born with or one that we develop through practice? Let’s look at the research to uncover an answer.

In the 1960s, a creative performance researcher named George Land conducted a study of 1,600 five-year-olds and 98 percent of the children scored in the “highly creative” range. Dr. Land re-tested each subject during five year increments. When the same children were 10-years-old, only 30 percent scored in the highly creative range. This number dropped to 12 percent by age 15 and just 2 percent by age 25. As the children grew into adults they effectively had the creativity trained out of them. In the words of Dr. Land, “non-creative behavior is learned.”

Similar trends have been discovered by other researchers. For example, one study of 272,599 students found that although IQ scores have risen since 1990, creative thinking scores have decreased.

This is not to say that creativity is 100 percent learned. Genetics do play a role. According to psychology professor Barbara Kerr, “approximately 22 percent of the variance [in creativity] is due to the influence of genes.” This discovery was made by studying the differences in creative thinking between sets of twins.

All of this to say, claiming that “I’m just not the creative type” is a pretty weak excuse for avoiding creative thinking. Certainly, some people are primed to be more creative than others. However, nearly every person is born with some level of creative skill and the majority of our creative thinking abilities are trainable.

Now that we know creativity is a skill that can be improved, let’s talk about why—and how—practice and learning impacts your creative output.

Intelligence and creative thinking

What does it take to unleash your creative potential?

As I mentioned in my article on Threshold Theory, being in the top 1 percent of intelligence has no correlation with being fantastically creative. Instead, you simply have to be smart (not a genius) and then work hard, practice deliberately and put in your reps.

As long as you meet a threshold of intelligence, then brilliant creative work is well within your reach. In the words of researchers from a 2013 study, “we obtained evidence that once the intelligence threshold is met, personality factors become more predictive for creativity.”

threshold

Growth mindset

What exactly are these “personality factors” that researchers are referring to when it comes to boosting your creative thinking?

One of the most critical components is how you view your talents internally. More specifically, your creative skills are largely determined by whether you approach the creative process with a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

The differences between these two mindsets are described in detail in Carol Dweck’s fantastic book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (audiobook).

The basic idea is that when we use a fixed mindset we approach tasks as if our talents and abilities are fixed and unchanging. In a growth mindset, however, we believe that our abilities can be improved with effort and practice. Interestingly, we can easily nudge ourselves in one direction or another based on how we talk about and praise our efforts.

Here’s a brief summary in Dweck’s words:

“The whole self-esteem movement taught us erroneously that praising intelligence, talent, abilities would foster self-confidence, self-esteem, and everything great would follow. But we’ve found it backfires. People who are praised for talent now worry about doing the next thing, about taking on the hard task, and not looking talented, tarnishing that reputation for brilliance. So instead, they’ll stick to their comfort zone and get really defensive when they hit setbacks.

So what should we praise? The effort, the strategies, the doggedness and persistence, the grit people show, the resilience that they show in the face of obstacles, that bouncing back when things go wrong and knowing what to try next. So I think a huge part of promoting a growth mindset in the workplace is to convey those values of process, to give feedback, to reward people engaging in the process, and not just a successful outcome.”

—Carol Dweck 

Embarrassment and creativity

How can we apply the growth mindset to creativity in practical terms? In my experience it comes down to one thing: the willingness to look bad when pursuing an activity.

As Dweck says, the growth mindset is focused more on the process than the outcome. This is easy to accept in theory, but very hard to stick to in practice. Most people don’t want to deal with the accompanying embarrassment or shame that is often required to learn a new skill.

The list of mistakes that you can never recover from is very short. I think most of us realize this on some level. We know that our lives will not be destroyed if that book we write doesn’t sell or if we get turned down by a potential date or if we forget someone’s name when we introduce them. It’s not necessarily what comes after the event that worries us. It’s the possibility of looking stupid, feeling humiliated, or dealing with embarrassment along the way that prevents us from getting started at all.

In order to fully embrace the growth mindset and enhance your creativity, you need to be willing to take action in the face of these feelings which so often deter us.

How to be more creative

Assuming that you are willing to do the hard work of facing your inner fears and working through failure, here are a few practical strategies for becoming more creative.

Constrain yourself. Carefully designed constraints are one of your best tools for sparking creative thinking. Dr. Seuss wrote his most famous book when he limited himself to 50 words. Soccer players develop more elaborate skill sets when they play on a smaller field. Designers can use a 3-inch by 5-inch canvas to create better large scale designs. The more we limit ourselves, the more resourceful we become.

Write more. For nearly three years, I published a new article every Monday and every Thursday at JamesClear.com. The longer I stuck with this schedule, the more I realized that I had to write about a dozen average ideas before I uncovered a brilliant one. By producing a volume of work, I created a larger surface area for a creative spark to hit me.

Not interested in sharing your writing publicly? Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages routine is a fantastic way to use writing to increase your creativity even if you have no intention of writing for others.

Broaden your knowledge. One of my most successful creative strategies is to force myself to write about seemingly disparate topics and ideas. For example, I have to be creative when I use 1980s basketball strategies or ancient word processing software orzen buddhism to describe our daily behaviors. In the words of psychologist Robert Epstein, “You’ll do better in psychology and life if you broaden your knowledge.”

Sleep longer. In my article on how to get better sleep, I shared a study from the University of Pennsylvania, which revealed the incredible impact of sleep on mental performance. The main finding was this: Sleep debt is cumulative and if you get 6 hours of sleep per night for two weeks straight, your mental and physical performance declines to the same level as if you had stayed awake for 48 hours straight. Like all cognitive functions, creative thinking is significantly impaired by sleep deprivation.

Enjoy sunshine and nature. One study tested 56 backpackers with a variety of creative thinking questions before and after a 4-day backpacking trip. The researchers found that by the end of the trip the backpackers had increased their creativity by 50 percent. This research supports the findings of other studies, which show that spending time in nature and increasing your exposure to sunlight can lead to higher levels of creativity.

Embrace positive thinking. It sounds a bit fluffy for my taste, but positive thinkingcan lead to significant improvements in creative thinking. Why? Positive psychology research has revealed that we tend to think more broadly when we are happy. This concept, which is known as the Broaden and Build Theory, makes it easier for us to make creative connections between ideas. Conversely, sadness and depression seems to lead to more restrictive and limited thinking.

Ship it. The honest truth is that creativity is just hard work. The single best thing you can do is choose a pace you can sustain and ship content on a consistent basis. Commit to the process and create on a schedule. The only way creativity becomes a reality is by shipping.

Final thoughts on creative thinking

Creativity is a process, not an event. You have to work through mental barriers and internal blocks. You have to commit to practicing your craft deliberately. And you have to stick with the process for years, perhaps even decades like Newton did, in order to see your creative genius blossom.

The ideas in this article offer a variety approaches on how to be more creative. If you’re looking for additional practical strategies on how to improve your creativity habits, then read my free guide called Mastering Creativity.

James Clear – October 2015

 

5 Ways to Reach Millions of People

5 Ways to Reach Millions of People

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It’s very easy if you know what you’re doing. The fact is that great influencers never stop branding and promoting. They are always marketing themselves, using every detail in their business to add value to those who want them most. If you want to reach millions of people, you need to create unstoppable content and promote yourself endlessly.

To reach the masses, you must have a strong desire to do so. You must also think of how you can expand your reputation. Ask yourself right now, “What do people think of when they think of me?” Usually, most people would come up with simple answers: smart, funny, articulate, good-looking, organized, and more. However, what can those attributes do to that help you reach millions of people?

The fact is that it doesn’t expand your influence until you put it all together. Those qualities must be concocted into your brand and show people who you really are. Your personality must ooze out of your work, allowing people to say, “I can relate with a guy or gal like that.” This is the key to reaching millions of people.

Your story won’t always connect with everyone automatically, but if you develop it in a way that has a mass appeal, you can ultimately reach millions of people. Here are 5 Ways to Reach Millions of People:

1. Make associations.

When people think of you, what’s the first thing that comes to their minds? What do you want to be known for? Donald Trump is a master at this. Regardless of your political position, you must understand that Mr. Trump has made many associations in the minds of millions of people, allowing him to become the most famous billionaire on the planet.

Some people know him from his show, The Apprentice. Others buy his shirts and ties. Many see him as the future ‘President’. Others remember him as the owner of casinos, Trump Towers, or even golf courses. People know him as the ‘Billionaire’ or even the ‘New Yorker’. Many people enjoy the drama and controversy he brings. Some might even call him grandpa. You get the point.

Making associations in the minds of others will increase your influence substantially. Ask yourself, “What do I want to be known for?” As soon as you come up with the answers, build your brand and produce that kind of image in everything you do. Soon enough, people will automatically make those associations with you, which will maximize your influence.

2. Become an expert.

Everyone is looking for truth. They want answers in their personal and professional lives. When they find the expert they’re looking for, they become loyal to them. Once you build a small following, take that feedback from others to enhance your brand by making the correct adjustments. Walk, talk, and act like the expert you’ve become.

Release content that no one has ever seen. Write articles that display new ideas in your industry. Shoot videos that catch your audiences’ attention. Go out there and give speeches to groups of people. Use your testimonials on your website and social media. Take photos and post them. Write a book. People are waiting to see what you’ve got, so share it with them. My company helps you do this. Be omnipresent. Go viral.

Becoming an expert doesn’t take as long as it used to be. Nowadays, a person can read the top ten books in their field, talk with dozens of people, and use an appropriate title and bio to demonstrate their brand. Even though you can become an expert overnight, you must consistently produce top-notch content for many years if you want to reach millions of people. In short, experts answer questions that you haven’t even thought about yet.

3. Only hold profitable relationships.

Surprisingly, most people don’t know how valuable their networks are, otherwise they would ALL have fortune and fame! The truth is that every moment that you invest with others, either virtually or face-to-face, must be profitable. If it isn’t, be sure to sever all relationships that aren’t producing wealth.

Of course, wealth can come in all forms. It’s not only the money you receive, but the ideas you gather, connections you make, and people you impact. You must use this wealth to market yourself. Make a list of the most profitable people in your life. By doing this, your unprofitable (or least profitable) relationships will fade away. It works every time. Winners and losers never get along.

To reach millions of people, you need to send out a minimum of 100 phone calls and emails per week. You should be having a minimum of three solid conversations per day if you want to extend your reach. Every email you send will build your brand. It is also good to know that there are millions of people waiting on the phone, if you would only use it wisely.

4. Build trust.

How do you build trust online? First, you must get real with yourself, and then with your audience. I’ve seen people make the futile mistake of acting like someone they’ll never be. Then they wonder why no one has approached them for help. To build trust, you must share your message in the simplest way possible. Everyone must understand your message.

Just think, how many times have you visited someone’s website and have gotten confused with their message? Maybe you’ve seen a website and have associated them with being “too expensive.” Since we all think in pictures, you must leave a message that arouses their attention. Always remember that a confused mind always says ‘No’. If people don’t find what they’re looking for, they’ll leave.

People want to do business with you, but they need validation. They’ll look at your reviews. They’ll try to dig up testimonials and other kinds of information. They’ll even Google you 15 pages deep! Either way, this is the way human nature will always be. If you give people a reason to trust you, they’ll be telling their friends about you. People do business with those they know, like, and trust.

5. Create your story.

A compelling story is what creates the most interesting brands. Look at the movie ‘Titanic’. It’s a motivational love story that has reached millions of people because of it’s ability to relate to human experiences. If you’ve seen the movie, you can easily remember distinctive points if I brought it up. Do you recall when the Rose almost jumped off the ship? We all do.

Your story must be highly-developed and contain many human elements. If you’ve read a good story, you’ll usually ask, “I wonder how he or she did it? Let’s find out more.” Because of this ‘mysterious’ factor, you’ve built excitement and interest which will build curiosity. Plus, we all know people love a juicy story. In fact, people go out of their way to obsessively learn about you.

Stories are remembered from generation to generation. Once you create a story that attracts people, you must ensure that it displays humility and transparency. Sure, you can have a great story, but if you come off as a ‘god’ or seem untouchable, no one will feel that they can meet you. Thus, the best story allows your audience to connect spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. What’s your story?

Reaching millions of people takes much work and not everyone is born to do it. However, if you feel like you have the talents, skills, gifts, and abilities to make it happen, be sure to study people who are reaching millions. Whether you like them personally or not, try to connect with them and ask for help. After all, we live in a virtual world that’s becoming more touchable than ever before!

Daniel Ally Contributor

11 Tips to De-Stress Your Life

11 Tips to De-Stress Your Life

 

Image credit: Pixabay

Have you ever wondered why after a stressful experience – like getting into a fight with your spouse or hearing that your office is announce massive layoffs, you have a physical reaction like a headache or stomach pain? According to the Huffington Post, this is because “the majority of stressors facing humans were physical (lions and tigers and bears, oh my!), requiring, in turn, a physical response.”

Being stressed isn’t a fun experience. On top of the physical symptoms, stress can lead to insomnia, depression and a decrease in work production, with serious implications for your personal and professional life.

Being entrepreneurs, we get stressed all the time. I get stressed at everything from traffic on the way to work to my current hosting startup on the brink of disaster! Believe me, this is something we all have to deal with from time to time. To avoid letting stress consume your life, here are 11 tips that I use to kick stress to the curb.

1. Identify triggers.

Melissa Eisler states on the Chopra Center website that “Recognizing the triggers to your stressful reactions is an important first step in managing your stress.” She suggests you can discover these triggers by asking obvious questions like “What stresses you out? And how do you react to it?”

After figuring out what exactly is working you up, you can create a list of your top triggers and then work on eliminating them if possible, or at least changing your reactions.

2. Be healthy.

It’s been proven time and time again that one of the best ways to relieve stress is by being healthy. Whether it’s going for a walk, taking a yoga class, staying away from treats like doughnuts and getting a good night’s rest, taking care of your body is one of the most common and effective ways to reduce stress in your life.

I find that when I’m healthiest in my life, I have the least amount of stress.

3. Get organized.

Whether it’s in the home or at the workplace, disorganization is one of the most common stress triggers. After all, it’s frustrating when you can never find that one thing you’re looking for. That’s why you should not only straighten up your home or office, but develop a system to keep it organized. Woman’s Day has 100 Organizing Tips that you should check out.

4. Stop procrastinating.

The Association for Psychological Science states that “people who procrastinate have higher levels of stress and lower well-being.” To help you get out of this harmful trip, Leo Babauta suggests you create a Do It Now (DIFN) habit. Do your most important task first or only work on a challenging project for 10-minutes.

5. Turn off your phone.

Richard Balding, a psychologist in the department of psychology at the University of Worcester, England discovered that smartphones can lead to stress. Why? Because they have created “a relentless need to immediately review and respond to each and every incoming message, alert, or bing.”

While you can’t keep the phone off 24/7, you should have certain times planned throughout the day to keep the phone off for a little piece of mind.

6. Do something that makes you happy.

Between all of your obligations and responsibilities, you may think you no longer have time for the hobbies that used to make you happy. To reduce the stress in your life, make the time to do something pleasurable. It could be something as simple as enjoying your favorite show, taking a nap, going to the movies, talking to a friend, listening to your favorite music, or planning a vacation to your favorite destination.

7. Stop filling up the calendar.

Commitments never end. Between work, your family, social activities and civic duties, you have a full schedule. This becomes a problem when commitments conflict with each other or begin to overrun your life.

If you edit your list of commitments, you will likely notice you suddenly do have some much needed free time, which will help destress your life. We all have the same 24 hours in each day – what are you filling your hours with?

8. Accept people for who they are.

Is there anything more frustrating than a coworker who chews with their mouth open or the spouse who never washes dishes or the neighbor who blasts their music too loudly? No matter how much the people closest in your life add to your stress level, you have to accept them for who they are.

Daylle Deanna Schwartz, recommends on the Huffington Post that you use Reality Training, which “means recognizing that if you want to be happy, you need to accept people as they are and find ways to deal with how they are, or don’t.”

9. Be grateful.

Research from renowned psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough discovered “Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism, and lower levels of depression and stress.”

Mark Williams and Danny Penman authors of “Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World,” suggested on CNN that you perform a 10-finger gratitude exercise everyday. This simply means thinking of 10 things you’re grateful for.

10. Avoid multitasking.

We’re all extremely busy, which is why multitasking seems like a great idea on paper, but actually only adds to our already stressful lives. According to David Meyer, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan (via Chris Woolston, MS on HealthDay) “ juggling tasks can be very stressful. In the short-term, stress makes you feel lousy. In the long-term, it can become a serious threat to health.”

If you need assistance with avoiding multitasking, check out these tips from Zen Habits.

11. Pucker up.

WebMD cites a study led by Laura Berman, Ph.D., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and ob-gyn at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, which studied 2,000 couples. The study discovered that couples who only kiss during lovemaking are “eight times more likely to report suffering from stress and depression than those who frequently kiss on the spur of the moment.”

Dr. Berman states: “Kissing relieves stress by creating a sense of connectedness, which releases endorphins, the chemicals that counteract stress and depression.”

Besides making you happier, lowering your stress level has proven medical benefits. So, grab your favorite book, pucker up, be grateful for what you have, and stop over scheduling yourself. Taking just a few of these steps will lead to a happier, healthier you.

Contributor – John Rampton

5 Ways to Improve the Performance of Your Greatest Asset: You

5 Ways to Improve the Performance of Your Greatest Asset: You

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We are constantly looking for ways to enhance, grow and improve our assets, but we often overlook the most important one of them all. Your greatest asset is not your bank account, stock portfolio, 401(k) or real estate holdings — it’s you.

What are you doing to make sure you perform at your very best? Imagine if your personal performance started to suffer — your business would soon follow. Here are five simple ways to improve the performance of your greatest asset.

1. Prioritize your health and wellness.

For your business to thrive, you need to be involved. This won’t happen if you are in and out of the hospital with health issues. Regular exercise and an intelligent diet helps your body and mind operate at peak performance.

Time is a rare commodity — but make sure to carve out at least 30 minutes a day for physical exercise. If you are bound to a desk and chair all day make sure to get up and stretch every hour. A mid-day walk also goes a long way to help combat the health risks associated with sitting for long periods of time.

2. Delegate and outsource all of your busy work.

You will operate so much more efficiently if you can eliminate all of the busy work that typically slows you down. When you don’t have tedious tasks pulling at you from all directions you can focus 100 percent of your attention on the objectives that directly impact the growth of your business.

Learning to delegate was difficult for me at first — I felt like I had to do everything myself to ensure it was done correctly. I learned to trust the people I have in place and delegation has allowed me to focus on more important parts of my business related to growth. More doors and opportunities have opened up simply because I pushed all of those little time sucking tasks off my daily plate.

3. Don’t hold back stress and anger. Voice your opinion.

If you ignore the issues that are causing you to become stressed out and angry it’s just going to keep building up until you explode. This isn’t good for anyone involved — it’s best to address anything that upsets and angers you on the spot.

Sure, take time to assess the situation and come up with a well thought-out solution, but don’t keep putting it off and letting it build up. When you don’t have pending issues or stress on your mind you can devote all of your energy to what’s important — working on your business and working towards your goals.

4. Have fun, and include your team members.

If you aren’t having fun then you need to reconsider what you are doing and try something new. Having fun is one of the most overlooked components of success. Sales, money and growth are usually on top of the priority list — but if you aren’t having fun you are going to burn out and your performance will suffer, eventually impacting your business.

The same concept applies to your employees and team members — if they are having fun they are going to enjoy what they are doing, and that will directly impact how they perform. Make sure you create a fun work environment but also consider hosting an out-of-the-office event once a month or even once a quarter — something as simple as an evening of bowling can really help to keep the fun vibe alive and well.

5. Find a mentor.

Ask every successful entrepreneur for one piece of advice and you will undoubtedly have several of them tell you to get a mentor. You aren’t going to have the answer to every question and some situations are going to leave you seeking help.

Rather than stress out or scramble for a solution you can simply pick up the phone knowing you will have someone on the other end that is there to help. Having a mentor that you know you can turn to any time eliminates a lot of unnecessary stress. Less stress equals better personal performance.

 

Jonathan Long – July 02, 2015

The Most Successful Achievers, What They Do Differently

10 Things the Best of the Best Do Differently

Something that has always fascinated me over the years is what are some of the things that the best of the best do differently than everyone else.

While there are many different qualities and habits that the best possess, here are 10 of some of the most common things that I have found that have helped them differentiate themselves from everyone else:

1. They constantly expand their vision.

Instead of letting their past mistakes, failures and hardships define their destiny, they constantly expand their vision as to what’s possible. They know that as long as they’re still breathing and get the opportunity to live another day, there is more for them to be, do and achieve.

2. They are extremely goal-oriented.

They take time out of the year to sit down and visualize what they want in their lives. Once they know what they want, they write down their goals and come up with a detailed plan for everything they have to do for it to become a reality.

3. They take massive action.

After they set their goals and come up with a detailed plan, they fully understand that absolutely nothing will work if they don’t work. Many people want to complain about their circumstances or how hard life can be, while the champions, the best of the best, just gets moving.

4. They surround themselves with supporters.

They have friends and people in their inner circle that help them grow, get better and achieve their biggest goals and dreams in life. They want nothing to do with people who suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with. The best of the best know how vitally important it is to surround themselves with a team of like-minded individuals who are going to help them win in all facets of life.

5. They are lifelong learners.

They are constantly searching for ways to grow and get better. They invest in their personal development and regardless of how successful they already are, you can always find them eager to learn something new, refine their skill set or simply grow in some way, somehow in some area in their life. They work harder on themselves than they do anything else.

6. They serve others.

They understand that true success and fulfillment comes from serving and helping others get to where they want to go. The best sales people serve. The best parents serve. The best executives serve. The best entrepreneurs serve. Regardless of what field or what one does for a living, the best of the best operate out of a servant mentality.

7. They work harder than anyone else.

Many people might think that they are just lucky or privileged but the truth is that a great percentage of the men and women who are at the top of their game and dominating their selected field work harder than anybody else. They have a ridiculous and what some would call a sickening work ethic. They still put in the long hours regardless of their bank balances and are absolutely never satisfied.

8. They don’t let failure stop them from taking action or trying something new.

The best of the best thrive under pressure. They love when their backs are against the wall and they have to perform at a high level. The best of the best actually love failure. They understand that the trials and tribulations that they go through are only present to help mold them into something better.

9. They believe in and work toward a vision or mission that is bigger than themselves.

Instead of being temporarily pushed by motivation or some exterior reward, they are being pulled by their powerful mission or cause that is way bigger than them.

10. They never give up.

This last one sounds so cliché but it’s unbelievable the amount of fight, persistence and perseverance that the best of the best display over the course of their journey. No amount of setbacks and failures will stop them from waking up each morning and getting ready to work.

They love the fight that it takes to be the best and completely understand that it’s not about instant gratification but who can persevere through the most crap. They have a last-man-standing-wins mentality. The day the best of the best gives up is the day that they will be in their coffins.

Adopt these 10 things into your life and maybe you too could eventually be among the best of the best.

 

Contributor – Matt Mayberry – June 19, 2015

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

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When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as “charisma.

So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.

Start With the Sweet Spot

I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc..

And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.

You have to remember, everybody has a story.

So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.

That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!

So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.

So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?

How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?

That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven’t developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.

Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?

It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.

1. Stay Tuned

So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.

If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancé pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.

This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.

So stay alert.

2. Stay Smart and Sharp

If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!

And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviors.

A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.

3. Remember and Repeat

When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.

They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.

What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.

And that’s another key…..

Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.

And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.

This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.

When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.

Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.

I do it all the time with a huge success.

4. Master Your Other Language

The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.

Body language is a language any nationality can understand.

People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.

Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.

And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.

So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.

That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical.

So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?

Like you’re a freakin’ superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.

This can be achieved through practice.

5. Your Eyes Say Everything

People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.

Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.

If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.

It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.

6. No More Complaining

Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.

Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.

When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.

Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less.

7. Good Words Go Far

Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.

I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?

And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.

Conclusion

So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.

If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.

There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.

We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.

Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.

If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.

Contributor – Joel Brown – June 10, 2015

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go & Move On

feature_image_template9-620x400We find out how strong we are in the moments of uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment.

Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life.

The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe.

But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.

Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.

To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.

2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.

3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.

4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.

5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.

6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.

7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.

8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.

9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.

10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.

11. When you have lost your passion and joy.

12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.

13. When you stop having fun.

14. When you fear this is the best it will be.

15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.

16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.

17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.

18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.

19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.

20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.

This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to take a step forward and let go. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.

Source: Mind Body Green

Photo Credit: Banksy

The 8 Types of Toxic People , Do we need them in our Lives ?

8 Toxic Types of People You Should Keep Out of Your Life

Image credit: Shutterstock.com

Toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around and they can have a negative impact on your forward momentum. Entrepreneurs need to remain laser focused — the distractions and stress that toxic people bring into your life act as unnecessary obstacles, so it is best to avoid them.

You probably know a few toxic people — they might work for you, you might be friends with some or you might even live with someone toxic. The sooner you remove them from your life, the better. Here are eight toxic types of people you should steer clear of.

1. Those who are judgmental

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. You could take the time to explain something to them in great detail but it goes in one ear and out the other. They come to their conclusions before they hear any facts — they don’t listen well and are horrible at communicating. Asking for advice or feedback from a judgmental person is a complete waste of time.

2. Those who are envious

Being an entrepreneur can be a very bumpy journey filled with highs and lows — while it’s important to have a strong group of supporters in your corner during the low times it’s also important to have supporters that are there to congratulate you when you hit the high points. Envious people will not be happy for you — ever. They feel that it should happen to them and nobody else.

3. Those who are control freaks

Control freaks don’t ever want to listen — they don’t have to, because according to them they know everything and they know the best way to do everything. While this type of person can be a nuisance in your personal life, they are a complete nightmare to deal with in a business environment. A successful business structure requires team members that will listen to and follow instructions. If you have control freaks on your team it can cause a “too many cooks in the kitchen” problem.

4. Those who are arrogant

Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance — confident people inspire, while arrogant people intimidate and annoy. Someone with an arrogant attitude feels he or she is better than everyone around them. In a personal setting this can be annoying, while in a professional situation this can create an uncomfortable environment.

5. Those who are victims

The constant victim will always make excuses and blame others for their mistakes and wrongdoing. They are some of the most toxic people to be around — they will never accept responsibility and always point the finger, which causes a domino affect of the blame game in a work setting. Flush them out of your business and eliminate that headache.

6. Those who are Negative Nancy’s

Someone who is always negative will drain your positive energy immediately — they thrive on bringing everyone down around them. You will never receive any words of encouragement from a Negative Nancy. They will discredit every idea you have and instead of being supportive they will go out of their way to point out every possible way you could fail, rather than focus on possibilities and potential. They are a major energy-suck.

7. Those who are liars

To be successful you have to surround yourself with other successful individuals that you can trust and count on to be there for you. You can’t trust liars and it’s hard to count on them because you never know if they are lying or telling the truth. That type of uncertainty will wear you out quickly — eliminate them from your life and you won’t have to wonder if you are being lied to.

8. Those who are gossipers

People gossip because they are insecure — they don’t know how to separate fact from speculation and when truths get twisted, the wrong information is conveyed, feelings get hurt and enemies are born. Having a gossiper within your business can be very destructive — they are cancers and can quickly create a negative environment.

If any of these ring a bell, then there is a good chance you are being exposed to toxic individuals. You should consider removing them from the equation, allowing you to remain 100 percent focused on reaching your goals without unnecessary distractions.

I vowed to remove all toxic people from my personal life and business in 2015, and by doing so I have created a much better environment for myself and my company.

 

Contributor – Jonathan Long May 11, 2015

Six Behaviors Business People Loathe

6 Behaviors People in Business Loathe

Image credit: SplitShire

Our success is often defined by the things that we do and less by the things that we say — I really do believe it can be that simple. This often comes down to the trust that is built by our actions when we interact with others, yet we’re constantly surrounded by people that just can’t seem to figure it out — whether intentionally or not.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a small laundry list of actions that, if you find yourself doing, you really should stop — right now.

1. Don’t do what you say you’re going to.

Here’s the deal: If you can create one rule in your life that has the capacity to tremendously alter outcomes, it’s this one. Just do what you say you’re going to do. The benefit of this seemingly simple ask is that the vast majority of your fellow human beings just won’t or can’t. They’ll make promises and commitments that they either don’t have the intention or purely the bandwidth to follow through on — so when you do, you’ll look like a superhero.

2. Constantly looking at your phone.

Yes, we’re all guilty of this from time to time — or all the time in some extremely inconsiderate cases. The reality is, what you’re telling those around you is that they’re not important. What is important is the gadget in your hand that has you so transfixed it’s as if its mere use is extending your life by rewarding you with credits to the lost fountain of youth. Guess what, it’s not.

Do yourself a favor and put your pocket computer on silent in your pocket when you’re engaging with others — whatever is happening on Candy Crush can wait.

3. Your lack of eye contact.

I know, this is pretty simple, but I’m going to take it in a bit of different direction. I’m not referring to the first introduction, “it’s nice to meet you” type of eye contact — although that’s super important too — I’m referring to when we’re sitting at lunch and you’re having a hard time focusing, which is represented by your incessant looking about the room or at the TV behind me.

If you can’t focus on a discussion, how are you to be trusted to focus on a considerably more complicated project, task or job?

4. You talk about yourself, non-stop.

When you’re engaged in conversation and find yourself out of breath whilst deep into a series of self satisfying stories about you-know-who, what you’re really saying is that you care only about yourself and likely possess an ego that has may never be tamed. Guess what? You’ll get a lot further in life by asking a few questions, closing your yapper and just listening intently. Try it and watch magic happen.

 

Related: Five Negative Traits that may be Pushing People Away

5. You’re late.

There’s not much worse than dealing with someone that can’t keep track of their own schedule and, as a result, is late to scheduled calls or meetings. All you’re really telling the world, or at least those that are waiting for you, is that your time is more valuable than theirs and you’re completely incompetent when it comes to managing your own schedule. I know, things happen. Here’s a solution: plan accordingly.

6. Using acronyms.

Every business and industry is fraught with top-secret jargon and confusing acronyms. When you find yourself spouting them off while amongst those that aren’t in your industry or may not understand them, it’s often perceived that you’re posturing with the intent to show the world how smart you are — and by default, how stupid they are. It’s OK to use your code words, but just be sure to be conscious of those around you and take the time to explain what they mean.

What are some behaviors that you think should be stopped immediately? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

Adam Callinan April 16, 2015

11 Things That Happen to Your Body If You Have Sex Daily

Sex is such a taboo subject, even today, but here is why we should be talking about it! Sex has so many hidden benefits, and here is why you should be doing it more often.

Sex is a wonderful part of life, I mean what is not to like? It feels good, it is good for your health, and it can even prevent headaches. Make sex part of your daily life, and you know you will not regret it!

  1. Improved Immunity

People who have sex more frequently have significantly higher levels of immunoglobulin A. This is your immune systems first line of defense. It job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for the activation  your body’s immune system.

  1. Less Stress

If you are freaking out about something going on tomorrow like a job interview, a surgery, or a date you might want to make a run to the bedroom. Research has revealed that people who had sex at least once over two weeks were more able to manage stressful situations such as public speaking.

  1. Better Sleep

The same endorphins that help you de-stress can also relax your mind and body, priming you for slumber. Director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin says, during the orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released. “Prolactin levels are naturally higher when we sleep, which suggests a strong relationship between the two,” she says.

  1. Burns Calories

Just half an hour of sex can burn 85 calories, sometimes this can be more depending on how active you are. Sex is a full body workout, and daily sex is a great exercise routine, you really have to work to perform it well.

  1. Heart Health

Men who have sex regularly are proven to be 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less. Sexual activity provides some of the same benefits of exercise and also keep levels of estrogen and testosterone in balance, both of which are important for heart health.

 
  1. Lower Blood Pressure

Sex is linked to better stress response and lower blood pressure.

 
  1. Boosts self-esteem

Increased amounts of sex mean increased desire, intimate time with someone results in improved self-esteem. Some people who are not necessarily lacking in self-esteem, claim to have better sex because it makes them feel better.

  1. Strengthens Pelvic floor muscles

Pelvic floor muscles exercises can help increase sexual sensation, and overall health. Contracting these muscles during sex not only feel great but can help reduce the possibility of incontinence when you are older.

  1. Pain Relief

Sex releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as reduced menstrual cramp pain, as well as pain from arthritis and headaches.

  1. Increases Intimacy and Improves Your Relationship

Sex and Orgasms result in increased levels of the hormone oxytocin, or the love hormone, makes you feel more bonded to your partner, and experience empathic connections.

  1. Glowing Skin

That morning after glow, you are always hearing about is the truth! It is not just your imagination; you really do look better after. Sex can even help you to look younger!