Category: Extraordinary People

The Healing Benefits of Ayahuasca

Ayahuasca is a versatile medicinal plant. It has the potential to treat PTSD, depression, anxiety, addiction and cancer. Here are the different benefits of Ayahuasca. Read it and it will surely interest you.

See: Video’s on how to brew your own Ayahuasca in a few simple steps, further down in this Article

Ayahuasca’s Medical Benefits

Although some want to try Ayahuasca for a different experience, say, transformation, others simply want healing. Yes, some patients who are not satisfied with their PTSD or depression medications turn to Ayahuasca. Others with terminal diseases like cancer also try it in hopes of improving their condition.

If you want to learn more about the wonders of Ayahuasca in the medicine field, read more on how efficient it is in treating depression, PTSD and cancer.

Ayahuasca cures depression The medicine reduces depression in the individual within two to three hours of ingestion. Quite similar to pharmaceutical antidepressants, this medicine seems to change concentrations of serotonin, the mood-boosting neurotransmitter in the brain. Another way it alleviates depression is by the action of its active ingredient DMT, the psychoactive chemical known to induce spiritual revelations and experiences.

Individuals with depression who turn to Ayahuasca find solace and solution in the substance. One of them is Kira Salak. Her experience is terrifying and enlightening.

Just like the other ayahuasca users, Salak saw visions. She found herself in a tunnel of fire. She heard wailing and saw men begging her to help them. Others tried to scare her that she will never get out of the tunnel, but she was fierce and strong enough to answer back that she’s not scared. At the end of the tunnel, she saw three thrones with shadowy figures. The devil was sitting in the middle, warning her that darkness will never end and that she can never escape to which she replied with I can.

Salak woke up and felt lighter and at peace. She saw the shaman welcoming her back and the following day everything was changed. I discovered the impossible: The severe depression that had ruled my life since childhood had miraculously vanished, Salak confessed.

Ayahuasca cured Salak’s depression and the experience made her feel lighter and free.

Ayahuasca cures cancer A number of Ayahuasca users who went to Peru returned home feeling revitalized. Some others tried Ayahuasca somewhere else and still get the same benefits of healing. Among them are Donald M. Topping, a former professor in Hawaii who was diagnosed with colon cancer and Margaret De Wys a writer who survived breast cancer. Donald and Margaret took Ayahuasca ceremonies in different places, but they experience the same cure. Both are now cancer free. They are just two of the growing number of individuals who claim Ayahuasca’s healing.

A Brazilian study conducted by Eduardo Schenberg, of the University of Sao Paulo, learned that Ayahuasca has the potential to treat cancer. There is enough available evidence that Ayahuasca’s active principles, especially DMT and harmine, have positive effects on some cell cultures used to study cancer, and in biochemical processes important in cancer treatment, both in vitro and in vivo, Schenberg wrote. Therefore, the few available reports of people benefiting from Ayahuasca in their cancer treatment experiences should be taken seriously, and the hypothesis presented here, fully testable by rigorous scientific experimentation, helps to understand the available cases and pave the way for new experiments.

Ayahuasca cures PTSD Some war veterans and soldiers who developed PTSD turned to Ayahuasca for relief. Some claim that the medicines they took failed to improve their condition, that’s why they travel to the jungle of Amazon for a new treatment and their trip was not in vain because they return home with a new perspective in life, lesser baggage and cleaner slate. The medicinal vine helps them clear their mind from suicidal thoughts, pain, and bitter experiences that were holding them back.

Ayahuasca helps PTSD patients conquer their trauma by activating their subconscious brain. It then reprograms the brain by reorganizing and neutralizing environmental triggers and symptoms. It also brings the traumatic experience to the conscious mind for processing and integration to one’s life with deeper meaning without replaying the emotional intensity that used to come with it. That’s why PTSD patients develop new and better perspective on the things that once haunted them.

Ayahuasca’s Health & Healing Benefits

Aside from treating PSTD, depression and cancer, Ayahuasca offers health and healing benefits with its transforming effects. It does not only strengthen one’s body, but it also reconditions the mind and spirit. Learn about Ayahuasca’s health and healing benefits in the following passages.

Expands Consciousness

Ayahuasca helps in expanding and deepening the known experiences along with one’s consciousness capacity. As a result, it benefits the individuals who consciously look out for exploring relationships, life and spiritual fulfillment. The Ayahuasca process lets one gain a better insight into the mental understanding of their life and reveals a deep understanding of their situations. The overall experience not only makes it hard to avoid the realities of your life but also opens the perceptions, increases awareness and lets one meet their thought process completely. At a psychological level, the brew enhances the feelings and perceptions, making an individual’s thinking, reaction, self-reflection and beliefs even more intense and vivid.

Among the individuals who enjoy this Ayahuasca benefit is Russ Binicki. Russ is a former soldier who survived the Vietnam War. His experience was quite traumatic. Three of his closest friends were killed in the battle and he was involved in several plane crashes due to mechanical failure. When he returned home he engaged in drinking, smoking pot and fights. He puts himself in danger as coping mechanism of the high intensity experiences he had in Vietnam.

He was in denial of his PTSD condition and anger related issues. He often gets angry easily. He gets angry when he drives,
while on duty, at home or even in public. His rage problems were terrible that he described his anger tendencies from zero to warp speed in a heartbeat. He also gets angry when his daughters are late on their agreed curfew.ayahuasca benefits

Russ’ condition led him to Ayahuasca. He travelled to Peru to try it and his life was changed. He learned more about himself, was able to understand his behavior and eventually admitted that he has anger problems. His Ayahuasca experience opened his mind to the things that kept on haunting him. It gave him the strength to confront those terrible thoughts it in a different perspective.

According to Russ, his anger issues were due to guilt. He was devastated after losing three of his closes friends in the battle. He felt bad for making it alive and yet seeing his comrades in the battlefield lifeless. He also learned that his being strict about the curfew was also due to his experience in Vietnam. During the Vietnam War, when one gets late, it means he is in trouble. This thought is engraved in his mind. So when his daughters show up late, he easily gets angry. The anger was due to fears because paranoia struck him.

The Ayahuasca experienced enabled Russ to learn about himself and understand his behavior, which he thought was just normal. He enrolled in a PTSD program when he returned home.

Ayahuasca Self-Healing Benefits

Ayahuasca is often called as a healer due to the inner processes facilitated by it, that eventually leads to the initiation of psychosomatic and spiritual shifts in individual, physical changes, changes in habits as well as a release of addictive patterns. The experience inspires the users and helps them to work towards bringing a change to their lives, allowing a genuine transformation and self-healing to happen. The self healing comes from the deeper look into the ideas, realities, ideologies or beliefs as Ayahuasca is potentially powerful in supporting the knowledge about oneself. But, Ayahuasca is not an external force that intervenes and solves a problem inside a person without their own intentional contribution. The thing that makes it work on bringing a transformation is one’s own determination, motivation and intention.

Kirby Surprise shared one personal encounter with Ayahuasca that showcased the medicinal plants self-healing benefits.

One man had a major depression during graduate school while maintaining two jobs and raising a family. His depression was like a plague that kept him from joy and light. He struggled with work and his family. He even resorted to a medical professional for help. He took different anti-depressant medications and finally Zoloft. He was advised to maintain the drug for the rest of his life. However, it took a toll on his health and marriage life. He can’t sleep well and sex was difficult which affected his self-esteem. He tried talk therapy and other western medicine, but he still felt that something was missing. He was not whole.

It affected his mood and attitude towards his wife and work. Until he decided to confront his depression from within and heal himself. He studied shamanism and medical plants and went on to an Ayahuasca conference. He learned that UDV members use it and that studies showed that regular Ayahuasca drinkers were less depressed but more social and organized instead. There were no physical or mental side effects to long-term use. One of the deciding factors that convinced him to try Ayahuasca was the people he met at the conference. They admitted to be long-term drinkers of the Ayahuasca tea and for him, they were some of the most grounded, kind, sane and healthy people he met in his life.

He decided to try Ayahuasca despite his wife’s lack of support and he experienced something unimaginable and unexplainable. He saw lights, colors and visions. The images were beautiful and intense, it made him cry. Then the lessons came in, he realized that he was losing awareness of his body and felt the weight of how he treated his wife in the past years while he struggled with depression. The experience was sacred, painful and beautiful. He realized that he was so cold and angry. The Ayahuasca experience made him alive again, he can feel again and it filled him with gratitude and love. He wept and started sobbing, which awakened his wife who told him that he was hallucinating, but he told her that he was aware of what he was feeling. For the first time in years, he woke up filled with joy and gratitude. He started to appreciate his wife, family and work. What was on the verge of being torn down was restored. He is alive again and he is whole.

This story is a concrete manifestation of Ayahuasca’s power to heal one’s self.

Ayahuasca Spiritual Teaching Benefit

When it comes to spiritual aspirations, the Ayahuasca experience plays a major role of a spontaneous teacher. Without any claims to a specific phenomenological status about the source of the teachings, an Ayahuasca practitioner is able to have strong insights, revelations and a sense of getting guided. It is particularly helpful to bring a subject that you want to learn or understand into the ceremony. Ayahuasca will help open up those neuro-pathways to make learning easier. Aside from learning new ideas or skills, Ayahuasca may pave the way for a meaningful and deep divine experience.

Ayahuasca is popular in improving spiritual health. In fact, some religion ceremonies use this and refer to it as the vine of the soul. According to Sita, an Ayahuasca user, the experience affected her physically, emotionally and spiritually. It shifted her perspectives and perceptions giving her the most challenging experience and divine bliss. She considered it spiritual because her quest for it is to find meaning and surrender. Her experience revealed sources of creations and made her realize that there is someone out there with supreme power. Others may call it God, Allah or Buddha, but one thing is certain for her, there is a powerful force behind everything, which can’t be known.

Some Ayahuasca users felt that they died and live again. Some felt the divinity, others claimed to see God. Ayahuasca helps them understand humanity, find a connection, and feel the great power behind everything. For Ayahuasca users, the experience was something unimaginable and unexplainable. It altered their views about the sacredness of life and their purpose.

One study revealed that Ayahuasca can indeed improve one’s spirituality. One study found out that Ayahuasca users have high scores in Spiritual Orientation Inventory. They excel in all nine components which include transcendent dimension, meaning and purpose in life, mission in life, sacredness of life, material values, altruism, idealism, awareness of the tragic and fruits of spirituality. The score remains high even after the second assessment, which suggests that the use of Ayahuasca improves one’s spiritual health.

Helps Identify the Totality of Life (Transformation & Rebirth)

The vivid, intense or sometimes confused and chaotic visions associated with Ayahuasca serve to show a person the totality of one’s life, including the conscious and subconscious mind, behaviors, emotional reactions as well as their effects on their relationships. Sometimes, the visions often work as a factor of cleansing, allowing a person to process the visual imprints and the impact of TV, mass media, Internet and several other blockages of psychosomatic and emotional nature. The meditation-like visions can be anything ranging from simple reflections of a person’s life and situations that must be solved or healed to the visions of animal and plant spirits as well as astral entities working on the body and soul quite similar to a doctor. This eventually leads to one getting a complete picture of the elements of their life, relationships and difficulties as well as gain a better comprehension of the world. A lot of people take Ayahuasca for its realistic or vivid hallucinations and to gain an insight into the world’s and brain’s mysteries.

Martijn Schirp, one Ayahuasca user revealed that the Ayahuasca session turned him to be a believer. He saw visions that filled him with fear and loneliness. It was a pure hell. It hit him hard. He remembered seeing the interview of psychiatrist and psychonaut Stan Grof, where he admitted that he experienced to be a different kind of animals and a plant in one instant. Martijn did not believe him but to his surprise he experienced it. He felt like he was a haunted animal and the experience was so vivid and real. He saw the connection in the world, from the air he breathes, the food he eats, and trees and rivers that give life. When he came to his senses, he felt the pangs of pain at how humans abused the natural resources. He was disappointed that people failed to see the spirit of the mountains, trees and animals. He was broken hearted that the humans’ greed consumes the natural resources that money can’t buy.

The Ayahuasca experience raised his awareness and transformed his relationship with nature. He is now more sympathetic to the natural world.

Ayahuasca Increases Efficiency Benefit

The usual physical benefits associated with Ayahuasca are pretty astonishing. One of the core functions of the brew is the cleaning of the body and crossed energy straightening. This implies that at a physical and energetic level, it makes the body operate with as little impediments as possible. It makes your body perform everything more efficiently. This means either minimal is required for the maintenance of the status quo or higher benefits are extracted from the same input. It increases the energy levels and minimizes the need for sleep. During the ceremonies and during the dieta, one finds their energy levels all over the place.

Moreover, since the use of Ayahuasca is life changing it affects one’s efficiency. As it helps one come to his senses, discover his failures and learn from it, accept his mistakes and shortcomings, it also filled the emptiness with gratitude and love. When one feels good, happy and satisfied with himself, it resonates in his works and relationships. It produces a better person and worker. Thus, making one more efficient in everything he does.

For those who felt stuck with their lives that they can no longer give their best to their work or family, Ayahuasca can help you regain your wholeness for a more efficient you.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that Ayahuasca offers many benefits, be it in the medical field or health and healing. But is Ayahuasca legal? You’ll be disappointed because, in the U.S., this psychedelic medicine’s legal status remains questionable. Brews made with DMT containing plants are illegal in the country as it is categorized as Schedule I drug.

However, due to religious freedom in the U.S., there are legal Ayahuasca ceremonies. UDV members are allowed to practice Ayahuasca ceremonies because this medicinal plant is sacred for them. It is a sacrament that helps them heighten their spiritual understanding and perception. Furthermore, it brings the practitioners closer to God and enables them to experience divinity.

If you want to experience the benefits of Ayahuasca, you may try the UDV Ayahuasca ceremony or book a ticket to the jungle of Amazon. Try Ayahuasca to experience its amazing benefits. You will surely be surprised to find a better version of you.

How to brew your own Ayahuasca in a few simple steps

Ayahuasca, one of the most potent healing drinks known to man, is easier to concoct than one might guess. By pulling together mimosa bark and caapi resin, you can boil together and create this intense psychedelic.

We do not condone illegal activity of any kind so it is important that you find out if it is legal before you make the concoction.

The process is quite simple. Boil water, vinegar and the mimosa bark three times over the course of about 9 hours, straining and reusing the bark each time.  Once you have a concentrated liquid, add the caapi resin and melt it down until the drink is ready.

See Video’s below; the Making of Ayahuasca

 

 

Here is a step-by-step video demonstration of the creation of Ayahuasca

There are multiple ways to extract the DMT needed for the Ayahuasca brew.  Here is another example of a way to produce the drink

Keep in mind, this is one of the most powerful psychedelics known to man.  It has intense healing properties and is intended for ritualistic, healing endeavors.  It is often suggested that you use this substance only in the guidance of someone familiar with the ritual as it can be many, many hours of psychedelia.

You can also visit a shamanistic retreat and experience the entire situation under controlled guidance. This is suggested for people using Ayahuasca for the first time.  It is stressed that this is not a recreational drug, but a medicine to use with respect.

 

Admin Cymantra April 2017

Categories: Ayahuasca Brain Function Cancer Cleansing Cleansing Depression Depression Disease & Prevention Extraordinary People Folklore Holistic Healing Myths Natural Cures Roots Spiritual Energy

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4 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

self-doubt-just-ahead

Image Credit – Lifehack.org

Entrepreneurs have frequent opportunities to doubt themselves, their plans, ideas and abilities. Perhaps you’ve occasionally asked yourself, “Am I really cut out for this job?” or “Am I on the right track?”

In 1998, I was laid off from a prominent public relations position at a well-known hotel in Palm Beach, Fla. Instead of looking for another job, I decided to start my own company, the Protocol School of Palm Beach.

In the beginning, I had my share of doubts. I often wondered if I had made the right decision and whether I should get a second job to supplement my income. I was short on money and patience. It took me nearly five years to make a profit. Now I’m grateful that I persevered. I’ve had my company for 17 years and now my business is stronger than ever.

It’s important to learn how to manage stress in moments of extreme doubt so that you can continue to pursue your goals. Here are four helpful tips that will enable you to overcome self-doubt whenever it strikes:

1. Don’t compare yourself to others.

The temptation to compare your business to others in your industry is difficult to ignore. Try not to make unrealistic or unfair comparisons that cause you to doubt your own abilities. Worrying about what competitors are doing wastes time and can leave you anxious and exhausted.

Instead, try to network and learn from the success of others. What did they do well? What challenges did they overcome? A great way to exchange ideas and encourage others is to join a mastermind group. Or hire a business coach or a set up weekly calls with a mentor, someone whom you trust and admire.

2. Acknowledge previous accomplishments.

Any entrepreneur will tell you that starting a business is one of the most difficult paths a person can choose. It takes an extreme amount of work and dedication to take any idea from inception to market.

There will be good days and bad days. Plus, at some point, you’ll realize you can’t please everyone 100 percent of the time, no matter how hard you try.

If you feel like giving up, step back from the situation. Acknowledge what you’ve already accomplished. Show gratitude for having encountered exciting opportunities and positive experiences. Keep an abundance journal to record victories — no matter how small. When you hit a bump in the road, you’ll be able to look back and remember why you chose your career in the first place.

3. Make decisions in a timely manner.

Running a business entails making hundreds of decisions. Every choice you make will have consequences — some positive and others negative.

When faced with a fork in the road, many entrepreneurs suffer from analysis paralysis. The very feedback that they solicited from clients, colleagues and mentors now hinders their ability to make a final decision and move forward. They may become overwhelmed by the various opinions and frozen with self-doubt.

The success of a business is determined by the culmination of many small choices over the long term. Running a successful business is more like a marathon, not a sprint. If at some point you make a wrong decision, you can always try to fix it.

So commit to a course of action and make corrections as you go along. The more proactive you are, the more confident you’ll feel in your ability to lead the company.

4. Accept your failures.

Anxiety is often rooted in fear. Mistakes are inevitable. No matter how talented you are or how hard you work, you will occasionally make errors. Some mistakes are easy to correct whereas others take a considerable amount of time and money to fix.

Either way, mistakes will make you a wiser, more cautious businessperson. Successful people embrace failure as part of the journey toward success. Rather than obsess over problems, focus on solutions.

If you make a mistake, don’t cover up or misrepresent what happened. Instead, admit it as soon as possible. When you own up to your failures, you develop a professional reputation of reliability and trustworthiness. Rather than fixate on every misstep, simply take responsibility, learn from it and find a way to correct the issue. Then move on and let it go.

Contributor – Jacqueline Whitmore – January 20, 2015

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Categories: Business Entrepreneur Extraordinary People Inspirational Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Positive Thoughts Quotes Self Doubt Self Esteem Self Improvement Skills Worth Learning Success Superior State of Mind Wealth

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9 Habits of Creative Genius

Creative Genius 2

Article by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

“Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.” — Buckminster Fuller

Genius is a potential that lives within you and every other human being. You have many moments of genius in your lifetime. These are the times when you have a uniquely brilliant idea and implement it even if only you are aware of how fantastic it is. Perhaps you created something absolutely astonishing and you even amazed yourself. Then there are the moments when you make exactly the right shot in a round of golf or a tennis match and you realize with immense pleasure what you’ve just accomplished. You are a genius.

There is no such thing as luck or accidents in this purposeful universe. Not only is everything connected to everything else, but no one is excluded from the universal Source called intention. And genius, since it’s a characteristic of the universal Source, must be universal, which means that it’s in no way restricted. It’s available to every single human being. It certainly can and does show up differently in every single one of us.

There are 9 habits of creative genius you can cultivate in your daily life that will help you to develop a deeper awareness of your connection to this ever-present Source of all that is. The qualities of creativity and genius are within you, awaiting your decision to match up with the power of intention.

Habit 1: Declare Yourself to Be a Genius!

This shouldn’t be a public pronouncement, but a statement of intention between you and your Creator. Remind yourself that you’re one of the masterpieces that emanated from the universal field of intention. You don’t have to prove that you’re a genius, nor do you need to compare any of your accomplishments to those of others. You have a unique gift to offer this world, and you are unique in the entire history of creation.

Habit 2: Pay Attention to Your Thoughts

Make a decision to listen more carefully to your inner insights, no matter how small or insignificant you may have previously judged them to be. These thoughts, which you may have viewed as silly or unworthy of attention, are your private connection to the field of intention. Thoughts that seem to persist, particularly if they relate to new activities and adventures, aren’t in your mind accidentally. Those tenacious thoughts that don’t go away should be viewed by you as intention talking to you, saying, You signed up to express your unique brilliance, so why do you keep ignoring the genius in favor of settling for less?

Habit 3: Step Boldly in the Direction of Your Inner Intuitive Inclinations

Take constructive action toward implementing your inner intuitive inclinations. Any step in the direction of expressing your creative impulses is a step in the direction of actualizing the genius that resides within you—for example, writing a book, regardless of how you may have doubted yourself up until now; recording a CD of yourself reading poetry or singing the songs you’ve written; purchasing an easel and art supplies and spending an afternoon painting; or visiting an expert in the field that interests you.

Habit 4: Believe in the Validity of Your Thoughts

Know that any and all thoughts that you have regarding your own skills, interests, and inclinations are valid. To reinforce the validity of your thoughts, keep them private. Tell yourself that they’re between you and God. If you keep them in the spiritual domain, you don’t have to introduce them to your ego or expose them to the egos of those around you. This means that you’ll never have to compromise them by explaining and defending them to others.

Habit 5: Cultivate Gratitude, Be an Appreciator of Life

Remind yourself that aligning with spiritual energy is how you will find and convey the genius within you. Shift your energy to harmonize vibrationally with the energy of Source. Be an appreciator of life, and refuse to have thoughts of hatred, anxiety, anger and judgment. Trust yourself as a piece of God and your genius will flourish.

Any step in the direction of expressing your creative impulses is a step in the direction of actualizing the genius that resides within you. — Dr. Wayne Dyer

Habit 6: Achieve a State of Child-like Wonderment

Practice radical humility. Take no credit for your talents, intellectual abilities, aptitudes, or proficiencies. Be in a state of awe and bewilderment. Even as I sit here with my pen in my hand, observing how words appear before me, I’m in a state of bewilderment. Where do these words come from? How does my hand know how to translate my invisible thoughts into decipherable words, sentences, and paragraphs? I’m humble in my inability to know where any of my accomplishments come from. Practice radical humility, and give credit everywhere except to your ego.

Habit 7: Remove Doubt and Resistance

Remove resistance to actualizing your genius. Resistance always shows up in the form of your thoughts. Watch for thoughts that convey your inability to think of yourself in genius terms . . . thoughts of doubt about your abilities . . . or thoughts that reinforce what you’ve been taught about a lack of talent or lack of aptitude. Your Source knows that you’re a genius. Any thought you have that challenges this notion is resistance, which will inhibit you from realizing your intention.

Habit 8: Look for the Genius in Others

Pay attention to the greatness you observe in as many people as possible, and if you don’t see it at first, then spend some mental energy looking for it. The more you’re inclined to think in genius terms, the more natural it becomes for you to apply the same standards to yourself. Tell others about their genius. Be as complimentary and authentic as you can. In doing so, you’ll radiate loving, kind, abundant, creative energy. In a universe that operates on energy and attraction, you’ll find these same qualities returning to you.

Habit 9: Simplify Your Life

Take the complications, rules, shoulds, musts, have tos, and so on out of your life. By uncomplicating your life and removing the trivial pursuits that occupy so much of it, you open a channel for the genius within you to emerge. One of the most effective techniques for simplifying life is to take time each day to spend 20 or so minutes in silence and meditation. The more conscious contact you make with your Source, the more you come to appreciate your own highest self. And it’s from this highest self that your own genius will be manifested.

How to Maintain Your Connection to Creative Genius

As you begin to recognize evidence of inspiration and Source all around you, remain humble while staying in a state of gratitude. This genius that you are has nothing at all to do with your ego-mind. Be ever so grateful to the Source of intention for providing you with the life force to express the genius that resides within you. Those who attribute their inspiration and success to their ego soon lose this capacity, or they allow the approval and attention of others to destroy them. Remain humble and grateful. Gratitude is a sacred space where you allow and know that a force greater than your ego is always at work and always available.

Read the entire article and comments at:

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/9-habits-creative-genius/

Dr. Wayne Dyer has written over 20 bestsellers on many spiritual topics, including making the shift to connect to Source, keeping the balance in your life, and bringing about your desires with the power of intention.

 

 

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The Most Successful Achievers, What They Do Differently

10 Things the Best of the Best Do Differently

Image credit: Mike Fernwood | Flickr

Something that has always fascinated me over the years is what are some of the things that the best of the best do differently than everyone else.

While there are many different qualities and habits that the best possess, here are 10 of some of the most common things that I have found that have helped them differentiate themselves from everyone else:

1. They constantly expand their vision.

Instead of letting their past mistakes, failures and hardships define their destiny, they constantly expand their vision as to what’s possible. They know that as long as they’re still breathing and get the opportunity to live another day, there is more for them to be, do and achieve.

2. They are extremely goal-oriented.

They take time out of the year to sit down and visualize what they want in their lives. Once they know what they want, they write down their goals and come up with a detailed plan for everything they have to do for it to become a reality.

3. They take massive action.

After they set their goals and come up with a detailed plan, they fully understand that absolutely nothing will work if they don’t work. Many people want to complain about their circumstances or how hard life can be, while the champions, the best of the best, just gets moving.

4. They surround themselves with supporters.

They have friends and people in their inner circle that help them grow, get better and achieve their biggest goals and dreams in life. They want nothing to do with people who suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with. The best of the best know how vitally important it is to surround themselves with a team of like-minded individuals who are going to help them win in all facets of life.

5. They are lifelong learners.

They are constantly searching for ways to grow and get better. They invest in their personal development and regardless of how successful they already are, you can always find them eager to learn something new, refine their skill set or simply grow in some way, somehow in some area in their life. They work harder on themselves than they do anything else.

6. They serve others.

They understand that true success and fulfillment comes from serving and helping others get to where they want to go. The best sales people serve. The best parents serve. The best executives serve. The best entrepreneurs serve. Regardless of what field or what one does for a living, the best of the best operate out of a servant mentality.

7. They work harder than anyone else.

Many people might think that they are just lucky or privileged but the truth is that a great percentage of the men and women who are at the top of their game and dominating their selected field work harder than anybody else. They have a ridiculous and what some would call a sickening work ethic. They still put in the long hours regardless of their bank balances and are absolutely never satisfied.

8. They don’t let failure stop them from taking action or trying something new.

The best of the best thrive under pressure. They love when their backs are against the wall and they have to perform at a high level. The best of the best actually love failure. They understand that the trials and tribulations that they go through are only present to help mold them into something better.

9. They believe in and work toward a vision or mission that is bigger than themselves.

Instead of being temporarily pushed by motivation or some exterior reward, they are being pulled by their powerful mission or cause that is way bigger than them.

10. They never give up.

This last one sounds so cliché but it’s unbelievable the amount of fight, persistence and perseverance that the best of the best display over the course of their journey. No amount of setbacks and failures will stop them from waking up each morning and getting ready to work.

They love the fight that it takes to be the best and completely understand that it’s not about instant gratification but who can persevere through the most crap. They have a last-man-standing-wins mentality. The day the best of the best gives up is the day that they will be in their coffins.

Adopt these 10 things into your life and maybe you too could eventually be among the best of the best.

 

Contributor – Matt Mayberry – June 19, 2015

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7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

7 Ways to Increase Your Charisma

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When you are able to leave a positive and lasting impression on anyone you come across, the world will become your oyster. The good news is that this charming talent is learnable and yours for the taking. This talent is widely knows as “charisma.”

So let’s explore a number of effective ways that you can increase your levels of charisma.

Start With the Sweet Spot

I have a great way of connecting with people that I’ve found to work really well, anywhere I go. I like to ask people what they love doing or what fascinates them. And when they answer me, I then ask them, “What is the one key thing that impacted you in this area, or one key thing that you love about this passion? etc..“

And I don’t just do it to make them feel good, I do it because I love seeing people talk about what lights them up. I also love learning cool and interesting things from others.

You have to remember, everybody has a story.

So imagine walking into a room at a party, event or conference. I want you to imagine: digital numbers lit up above each and every persons head in that room and those numbers signify the years of knowledge, living and experience that person has had. A room of 100 people at an average age of 30 to 40 years old would have around 3,000 to 4,000 years of combined knowledge and insight into life.

That thought alone BLOWS MY MIND!

So why wouldn’t you go in with the idea of extracting and sharing the awesome things you can learn from each individual? I’ve had some of the most amazing experiences and opportunities come about by approaching people with this perspective.

So imagine, meeting every one in the room before the end of the night?

How incredible would the stories, lessons and opportunities be that come about from this?

That was just an example to shift your perspective a little when it comes to meeting new people. The problem is that most people feel like they don’t have the confidence to network with the masses because they don’t haven’t developed the skills of building rapport and leaving a long lasting impression.

Well, what if you were able to set yourself up in a way that whenever you step into any room you bring with you a finely tuned advantage? What if you were able to keep your level of charisma at an all time high?

It’s possible, with these 7 keys you can increase your levels of charisma so that you leave a positive, long-lasting impression on others.

1. Stay Tuned

So first things first. When you’re talking with anyone you have to be ALERT. When I say alert, I mean completely present. If it’s a one-on one-conversation, you should leave them feeling like they’re the only one in the room.

If you are in a group, make the speaker feel important. If you are the speaker in the group, then be alert to everyone in that group when you deliver. Look at each person. This is something I used to struggle with until my fiancé pulled me up on it and now I make the effort to look and talk to each individual during the conversation.

This will absolutely change the impact you have in groups. You will notice a huge shift in conversations and will leave a lasting impression on multiple people instead of just one or two.

So stay alert.

2. Stay Smart and Sharp

If you’re a charismatic person, you’re usually less stressed, more successful and more attractive. Now, when I say attractive, I don’t mean sexy in the face or perfectly symmetrical. I mean you look like you look after yourself, and that you smile and know how to look good without over doing it. That’s charisma!

And the great news is, you can learn to be more charismatic. It’s not a genetic thing, it comes from learned behaviors.

A lot of leaders are looked at as charismatic because they stand tall, they have a strong belief in themselves, they love to learn and grow and they love to inspire and influence others.

3. Remember and Repeat

When you can repeat someone’s name or use it as an example when you’re talking to them, this is a great way of subtly complimenting them without the cheesy try-hard lines.

They will really respect that you remember their name because it makes them feel special, and worth talking to.

What I do when I meet people is I use a one-line command on myself just before I introduce myself to them.

And that’s another key…..

Always introduce yourself first, instead of sitting back waiting for someone else to introduce you.

And once you do and you ask for their name, talk to your subconscious and say this one-line command to yourself: “Remember his or her name.” Do it just before you go in for the introduction.

This forces you to focus on their reply, and it also activates the subconscious to pay attention so you can better recall their name from your memory later in the conversation.

When they say their name, repeat it once back to them and a few times over in your head.

Even drop their name in there now and then throughout the conversation, during every second or third question question. This is a great way to remember their name.

I do it all the time with a huge success.

4. Master Your Other Language

The next key to charisma would be to watch your body language. It’s proven that body language can increase your level of confidence dramatically.

Body language is a language any nationality can understand.

People unconsciously read your body movement and facial expressions as you approach them so if you have certainty and posture and you are authentically happy and positive then this will show up as charisma to others.

Something I learned during my training with Tony Robbins is, if you stand in a Superman’s pose, or Superhero pose, tall with your chin up, your feet shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips and are looking up towards the sky and you hold this for a few minutes, this is scientifically proven to alter your state and raise your level of confidence.

And confidence is a huge component of charisma. People will admire you for your confidence, usually because most people struggle with being confident themselves.

So remember this: Your body follows your mind. Your body is the unconscious.

That’s why people are able to visualize things and imagine things like temperatures and sensations and physically feel it, even when in reality nothing is there or happening to them in the physical.

So now knowing “how you feel” can affect your facial expressions, and body language, wouldn’t it be a great idea to start imaging yourself with supreme confidence?

Like you’re a freakin’ superhero! Get so good at this that you can activate this on command.

This can be achieved through practice.

5. Your Eyes Say Everything

People feel the confidence in you when you can hold good eye contact.

Just don’t be a freak about it. It’s not a stare off.

If you find it hard in the beginning to hold eye contact, stare right in the middle of someone’s head between their eyes where the top of their nose starts.

It looks like you’re staring straight into their eyes. That’s another neat little trick, so give it a try. You won’t feel nervous at all.

6. No More Complaining

Another key is to stay away from negative conversation. Make the effort every day to not complain.

Keep the conversation positive. Even if someone is negative and you keep sharing the light, they can’t help but to get a little bit of the residual positive on them to.

When they think of you, they remember you and your conversations as a positive experience.

Keep diverting the conversation to a positive note. So that way others around you know that you set the standard, expecting positive conversations and nothing less.

7. Good Words Go Far

Genuinely compliment people. This takes practice. Most people don’t pay attention to detail and they miss out on the opportunity to compliment others. That’s why when you do compliment someone, (once again, genuinely), this really stands out.

I know women are better at this, so imagine hearing a compliment or two from a guy when it’s least expected?

And don’t forget to be a little more expressive when you talk, with your body language and with your facial expressions. You paint a better picture this way when you share stories. You want people you come across to remember your stories and the conversations you had with them over the boring stand still conversations they may have had that day with others.

Conclusion

So you now have a good number of things you can work with to increase your charisma.

If you can put this into practice you’ll have an amazing influence over others and be able to lead in a more compelling way.

There’s great power in being a highly charismatic person.

We unconsciously pick up, frame by frame on the facial expressions, body language and energy of the other person, so whoever is more influential, confident, charming or appealing, this is going to influence the other less certain and switched on individual.

Remember: Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm. That means having the passion, energy and spirit and sharing that with others to feel the same.

If this helps you to remember what it means to be charismatic then live by this.

Contributor – Joel Brown – June 10, 2015

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20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go & Move On

feature_image_template9-620x400We find out how strong we are in the moments of uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment.

Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life.

The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe.

But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.

Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.

To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.

2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.

3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.

4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.

5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.

6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.

7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.

8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.

9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.

10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.

11. When you have lost your passion and joy.

12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.

13. When you stop having fun.

14. When you fear this is the best it will be.

15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.

16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.

17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.

18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.

19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.

20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.

This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to take a step forward and let go. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.

Source: Mind Body Green

Photo Credit: Banksy

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5 Ways to Build the Resilience You Need to Succeed

5 Ways to Build the Resilience You Need to Succeed

Image credit: Iron Man | Marvel Studios

The Boston Red Sox. Robert Downey Jr. Martha Stewart. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Perhaps the most famous example in the business world is Steve Jobs, who was forced out of Apple — the company he founded — in 1985. He was 30 years old, and as he said at the time, “What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. … I was a very public failure.” But he returned in 1997, and his resilience propelled him to lead Apple to unprecedented success.

Throughout my 35-year career across 10 industries, I’ve learned five steps for achieving the professional resilience that is necessary for long-term survival in any business. This is something any entrepreneur, CEO, VP, associate or recent college graduate can acquire as an advantage in the ever-competitive business world.

1. Be uncomfortable regularly and often.

As a beginning step to developing professional resilience, consistently push yourself into uncomfortable situations. From these situations you will inevitably fail, and gain confidence from your failures. These scenarios happen when you are unfamiliar with the situation, or lack the basic skills and resources needed to achieve your anticipated outcome.

2. Change your mindset.

Once you’ve learned to push yourself out of your comfort zone, you can look at crises and challenges as favorable risks because you’ve overcome the stress and anxiety of uncomfortable situations. Even when we fail, we can learn and move forward. Whether there is an opportunity to build off of a challenge or crisis, or simply reframe the situation for others, your mindset makes all the difference. Make crises and challenges feel more like opportunities than burdens or risks.

3. Be honest and transparent.

Build vulnerability-based trust through honesty and transparency with your teammates and organization. When doing this, you will develop a resilient self, and in turn be on your way to developing organizational resilience. Dr. George Everly, the executive director of Resiliency Science Institutes, International, articulates the idea that resilience does not have a fixed end point. Resilience is never achieved, it’s a continuum that starts with developing a resilient self, then working toward developing a resilient organization.

4. Put your team’s needs first.

Adhere to the idea of servant leadership,which is being more concerned with the success of others on your team than your own success. Based on research from Jon R. Katzenbach and Douglas K. Smith, we know this is an underlying necessity of high-performing team success. When building high-performing teams, there is a common attitude of team before self. Once the needs of the team become top priority for everyone, you will have a highly resilient team, and in turn, highly resilient individuals.

5. Don’t fear the ambiguous.

Being comfortable with circumstances that have ambiguous outcomes is a builder of resilience. You have the vision, and you know where you want to go as a professional or organization, yet you feel comfortable with the uncertainty of exactly how you’re going to get there. A developed tolerance for ambiguity is defined by the comfort you have to take that first step without knowledge of truly where that step will land.

People across all ends of the experience spectrum struggle with professional resilience. It’s in our nature to revert back to our comfort zones. But if you can continuously remind yourself to stray away from old habits, you’ll be an overall better employee and leader. As Fortune editor Peter Elkind wrote about Steve Jobs when he returned to Apple in 1997, “He had become a far better leader, less of a go-to-hell aesthete who cared only about making beautiful objects.”

Jobs’ incredible comeback was possible because he had learned from his experience and changed for the better. By developing your own capacity for resilience, you can do the same.

 

Contributor – Gib Mason June 11, 2015

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How To Ruin Your Life (Without Noticing)

Erin Kelly
Photo By: Erin Kelly
Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones. It is okay if you don’t finish school, get married, find a job that supports you, have a family, make money, and live comfortably all by this age, or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as you understand that if you’re not married by 25, or a Vice President by 30 — or even happy, for that matter — the world isn’t going to condemn you. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that. We choose a program right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we didn’t love our program, because we just invested time into it. We go to that job every morning because we feel the need to support ourselves abundantly. We take the next step, and the next step, and the next step, thinking that we are fulfilling some checklist for life, and one day we wake up depressed. We wake up stressed out. We feel pressured and don’t know why. That is how you ruin your life.
You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.
You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out on opportunities because you didn’t get that promotion five years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid. You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren’t good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.
You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness. The person who has two times more possessions than you does not have double the bliss, or double the merit. We get caught up in what our friends are liking, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that.You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us.
Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life.

Bianca Sparacino

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Six Behaviors Business People Loathe

6 Behaviors People in Business Loathe

Image credit: SplitShire

Our success is often defined by the things that we do and less by the things that we say — I really do believe it can be that simple. This often comes down to the trust that is built by our actions when we interact with others, yet we’re constantly surrounded by people that just can’t seem to figure it out — whether intentionally or not.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a small laundry list of actions that, if you find yourself doing, you really should stop — right now.

1. Don’t do what you say you’re going to.

Here’s the deal: If you can create one rule in your life that has the capacity to tremendously alter outcomes, it’s this one. Just do what you say you’re going to do. The benefit of this seemingly simple ask is that the vast majority of your fellow human beings just won’t or can’t. They’ll make promises and commitments that they either don’t have the intention or purely the bandwidth to follow through on — so when you do, you’ll look like a superhero.

2. Constantly looking at your phone.

Yes, we’re all guilty of this from time to time — or all the time in some extremely inconsiderate cases. The reality is, what you’re telling those around you is that they’re not important. What is important is the gadget in your hand that has you so transfixed it’s as if its mere use is extending your life by rewarding you with credits to the lost fountain of youth. Guess what, it’s not.

Do yourself a favor and put your pocket computer on silent in your pocket when you’re engaging with others — whatever is happening on Candy Crush can wait.

3. Your lack of eye contact.

I know, this is pretty simple, but I’m going to take it in a bit of different direction. I’m not referring to the first introduction, “it’s nice to meet you” type of eye contact — although that’s super important too — I’m referring to when we’re sitting at lunch and you’re having a hard time focusing, which is represented by your incessant looking about the room or at the TV behind me.

If you can’t focus on a discussion, how are you to be trusted to focus on a considerably more complicated project, task or job?

4. You talk about yourself, non-stop.

When you’re engaged in conversation and find yourself out of breath whilst deep into a series of self satisfying stories about you-know-who, what you’re really saying is that you care only about yourself and likely possess an ego that has may never be tamed. Guess what? You’ll get a lot further in life by asking a few questions, closing your yapper and just listening intently. Try it and watch magic happen.

 

Related: Five Negative Traits that may be Pushing People Away

5. You’re late.

There’s not much worse than dealing with someone that can’t keep track of their own schedule and, as a result, is late to scheduled calls or meetings. All you’re really telling the world, or at least those that are waiting for you, is that your time is more valuable than theirs and you’re completely incompetent when it comes to managing your own schedule. I know, things happen. Here’s a solution: plan accordingly.

6. Using acronyms.

Every business and industry is fraught with top-secret jargon and confusing acronyms. When you find yourself spouting them off while amongst those that aren’t in your industry or may not understand them, it’s often perceived that you’re posturing with the intent to show the world how smart you are — and by default, how stupid they are. It’s OK to use your code words, but just be sure to be conscious of those around you and take the time to explain what they mean.

What are some behaviors that you think should be stopped immediately? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

Adam Callinan April 16, 2015

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10 Business Lessons You can Learn at Bars

10 Business Lessons I Learned at Bars

Back in college and my early 20s (when I actually had a social life), I tended to go out to parties and bars more often than I thought I “should.” My gut often told me that I should probably be studying, reading, exercising, sleeping, networking or otherwise engaging in productive activities that were more likely to directly advance my career. But I went out anyway. Those informal outings with my drinking buddies felt like a fun (and deserved) distraction from work rather than a process of self-development in and of itself.

In retrospect, I now realize how formative those years of partying really were for my career. I learned a ton of social lessons that have tremendously helped me later in life.

Of course, you do not actually have to drink alcohol or go to bars to develop these business socialization skills, but the fast-paced social environment involved in nightlife does provide a great setting for that type of personal development. This is an important lesson for passionate entrepreneurs who become such workaholics that they forget the importance of socialization.

1. Be patient yet persistent.

We’ve all experienced that frustrating moment when the bartender seems to be ignoring us in favor of other customers. Veteran bar patrons handle this impression of rejection by maintaining a visible presence and by making multiple (polite) attempts to gain the bartender’s attention.

Just like in sales or fundraising, people tend to serve our needs better when we project an air of confidence and respectful persistence. Frequent bouts of rejection and recovery build character.

2. Tip the bartender early.

Taking good care of your service providers early in the night is the fastest way to improve your quality of service as the night progresses. This same lesson goes for employees, clients and investors. Recognizing people for their performance (particularly in unexpected ways) will improve both the quality of their work and the strength of your relationship.

3. Fake it ‘til you make it.

At a trendy urban night club, it’s often easy to feel like the shortest, ugliest, poorest, worst-dressed or least cool person in the room. The dirty secret is that every partygoer has felt one of these emotions at some point. People who succeed socially (and in business) don’t necessarily possess all the desired qualities from the outset. They simply succeed in convincing themselves that they are awesome until other people start believing it too.

4. Don’t always go for the most attractive girl (or guy).

One of my favorite scenes from A Beautiful Mind was the bar scene when Russell Crowe’s character explained his game theory epiphany in the context of which woman his friends should flirt with. He cautioned them against going for the most attractive woman at the risk of alienating the other women with whom they had a better chance.

This allegory can be used to illustrate not only game theory but also the “80-20 rule.” Sometimes, rather than playing all your cards targeting the world’s best sales prospect, dating opportunity or venture capitalist, you will attain a higher return on investment by starting with targets that are more “in your league.” Impress other key players until the elites have no choice but to pay attention to you.

5. Pace yourself.

Nobody likes a rookie who drinks too much, pukes and passes out before midnight. Nor does anybody like a manager who is bouncing from one fire-drill emergency to the next, or an employee who procrastinates and then has to cram at the last minute. A more responsible and experienced partier learns to plan ahead, get some food in his or her stomach and drink a glass of water between every other adult beverage.

Moderation builds character. Personal restraint and composure are some of the traits needed to become a poised, collected manager in the face of a crisis or urgent deadline.

6. Double your expense forecasts.

Every battle plan becomes worthless once the first shot is fired. Over time, a veteran partier learns that the statement “I’m only spending $40 tonight and only staying out until midnight” is rarely a promise they can uphold.

Learning that every project ends up taking twice as long and costing twice as much as originally planned can help you choose your projects better and prepare more honest forecasts that you can adhere to. That new project — or night on the town — might not actually be worth the can of worms it might open in the first place.

7. Follow up with new relationships.

Throughout the night at a bar, party or business event, you typically have great conversations with people you’ve never met before. Each of these people could potentially become a friend or important contact — provided that you do the work to follow up.

Whenever you meet someone you like, always remember to ask for their contact info so you can follow up the next day. Send an email, tweet, text, Facebook message, LinkedIn request or whatever is appropriate for the relationship, and come up with some reason to reconnect soon (coffee, a party invite, a bike ride, a phone call, an invitation to play basketball at your local park or maybe even just virtually discussing an article that you thought they might like).

Your success in life is directly proportional to the number of awesome people with whom you are connected.

8. Fail fast.

Sometimes the current bar just isn’t the right fit. The vibe is dead, the band sucks and there’s a smell coming from the bathroom. But half of your friends are only halfway done with their drinks, and the other half figure they’ll order another round while the others finish. The cycle continues until — before you know it — you’ve spent the whole evening at that crappy bar.

A smart partygoer, and manager, can tell when the team is becoming overly committed to a dead-end initiative. She or he knows when and how to convince the group to stop investing in the current solution, before too many resources have been invested in it. “Agile” managers both have more fun and invest their resources more efficiently. They know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

9. Take leadership when nobody else will.

There’s nothing worse than asking your friends, “What restaurant do you want to go to?” and getting the collective response “I don’t care, whatever you guys want.” This indifference can dampen a group dynamic pretty quickly. Groups actually want someone to steer decision-making to establish clarity and understanding among members.

Whether in nightlife or in business, you begin to learn that that someone can be you. Learning to take initiative is possibly the largest single contributor to success in life.

10. Designate a voice of reason in your group.

All groups need at least one designated driver to abstain from the Kool-Aid and ensure that the team members make rational decisions. Even with a great, visionary CEO to steer the bar-hopping itinerary, few groups can truly achieve greatness without a sober COO to keep everyone realistic and pragmatic.

Overall, learning to consistently have a fun, efficient and safe night out with your friends can prepare you for a lot of the challenges that can be thrown at you later in life. The best side effect is that you emerge from these youthful social activities with a network based on real friendships.

Whether you are hanging out at bars, playing in sports leagues or participating in a chess club, learning to confidently make the most of your personal relationships will help you become more successful throughout your career.

Andrew Cohen May 19, 2015

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