Category: Superior State of Mind

Often Overlooked Secrets to Success

An Often-Overlooked Secret to Success

Image credit: Wes Peck | Flickr

In his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini lists six principles of ethical persuasion. The first s reciprocity. “The reciprocity rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us,” Cialdini states. And therein lies the key to what I’ll call the oft-overlooked secret to success: appreciation for what another person does for us.

Cialdini relates an experiment a university professor tried several years ago: He sent Christmas cards to a select list of complete strangers. And the response was overwhelming. He received dozens of thank-you holiday cards back from these people he’d never met. Why? Because they appreciated getting a card from him and, as the law of reciprocity says, we respond to a positive action with another positive action.

How can this help you as an entrepreneur?

When you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude for what has been given to you, you are actually in a state of abundance — appreciating what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Because what you focus on expands, if you are constantly focusing on what you can do for others and at the same time appreciating the things you already have, you will inevitably get more of what you want because that is your focus.

Remember, like attracts like. The more you are in an appreciative state, the more you will attract that which you yourself are appreciative for.

My friend, Lamar, completely lights up whenever I give him a gift. I love his genuine reaction of thankfulness so much that now I look for special things I know he’ll like, just so I can surprise him. His appreciation causes me to continue to give.

What if you similarly gave your audience something every day with no expectation of reciprocation? What would that do for your own psyche and your business’s bottom line? There is a famous biblical scripture that says, “Practice giving and people will give to you.” Have you tried that lately? Here are three practical tips on how you can display this concept in your life and business:

1. Create an alert on your phone to go off three times a day.

When it does, take time to be grateful for three things in your life. Make time to appreciate three people in your life. And look for three ways you can give something useful to your clients.

2. Surprise someone.

Recall a time when you received a completely unexpected gift out of the blue. How did it make you feel? I want you to create that feeling for someone else. When you make someone else feel appreciated, you will be remembered. Look for ways to make your customers feel that they are one of a kind.

3. Think about the three ways in which our brains take in information.

There are three ways in which we can express our appreciation for others. Some people need to hear it, others need to see it and still others need to feel or experience it. Once you determine the dominant type preferred by those you’re trying to reach, the sky’s the limit.

 

Contributor – Meiko Patton

Is Artificial Intelligence Becoming a Reality?

Photo credit: 3D rendered robotic girl in helmet by Ociacia via Shutterstock

Professor Geoff Hinton, hired by Google, thinks that he’s on the brink of designing computer programs with the often overlooked “power of common sense.” For some people, having a robot partner with common sense might be a step up from their current “boo.”

Hinton is helping to develop new algorithms for computers that will be able to chat to us as though they were another human. Other than natural conversation, Hinton also thinks that they are on the verge of programs that can use logic, and maybe even flirt with us. (Is that an external hard drive in your pocket or… oh never mind).

This may seem ridiculous, but it might not be too long until you can go out and grab a cup of Java with a robot companion. “It’s not that far-fetched,” Hinton said. “I don’t see why it shouldn’t be like a friend. I don’t see why you shouldn’t grow quite attached to them.”

Hinton thinks that a flirtatious program would “probably be quite simple” to create, although “It probably wouldn’t be subtly flirtatious to begin with, but it would be capable of saying borderline politically incorrect phrases.” (Wait, that isn’t flirting?)

“You have to be master of the literal first,” Hinton said, “But then, Americans don’t get irony either. Computers are going to reach the level of Americans before Brits.”

Creating logic in the robots starts by devolving the skillful art of conversation (and romance) down to a sequence of numbers. Every thought can be given a “thought vector”. It sounds a bit too fantastical to be able to turn complex processes, like thoughts, into a couple of digits, “But there’s no reason why not. I think you can capture a thought by a vector,” Hinton muses.

Introducing your robot girlfriend or boyfriend to your parents might be a problem for the next generation. (Should we “crash” at your house or mine?) Nonetheless, it’s interesting to start thinking of the implications early on. How many jobs could “logic-bots” replace? Can a robot “love”? Would they need to buy a train ticket?

Hinton’s contribution to thinking about the future comes as a sobering warning and is not to be brushed off lightly. “I’m more scared about the things that have already happened,” said Hinton.

“The NSA is already bugging everything that everybody does. Each time there’s a new revelation from Snowden, you realize the extent of it.”

“I am scared that if you make the technology work better, you help the NSA misuse it more,” he added. “I’d be more worried about that than about autonomous killer robots.”

With every new technology that comes out, there’s always going to be the possibility that someone will abuse it in the name of wrong-doing. But are the risks of abusing robotic friends just too dangerous for humanity’s freedom?

May 22, 2015 | by Caroline Reid

[Via The Guardian]

How to Transform Your Life in 6 Minutes a Day

Minute 1: S is for silence.

Instead of hitting the snooze button, and then rushing through your day feeling stressed and overwhelmed, invest your first minute in sitting in purposeful silence. Sit quietly, calm and peaceful and breathe deeply. Maybe you meditate. Center yourself and create an optimum state of mind that will lead you effectively through the rest of your day.

Maybe you say a prayer of gratitude and appreciate the moment. As you sit in silence, you quiet your mind, relax your body and allow your stress to melt away. You develop a deeper sense of clarity, purpose, and direction.

Minute 2: A is for Affirmations.

Pull out and read your page of affirmations — written statements that remind you of your unlimited potential, your most important goals and the actions you must take today to achieve them. Reading over reminders of how capable you really are motivates you. Looking over which actions you must take, re-energizes you to focus on doing what’s necessary today to takeyour life to the next level.

Minute 3. V is for visualization.

Close your eyes and visualize what it will look like and feel like when you reach your goals. Seeing your ideal vision increases your belief that it’s possible and your desire to make it a reality.

Minute 4. E is for exercise.

Stand up and move your body for 60 seconds, long enough to increase the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain. You could easily do a minute of jumping jacks, push-ups, or sit-ups. The point is that you raise your heart rate, generate energy and increase your ability to be alert and focused.

Minute 5. R is for reading.

Grab the self-help book you’re currently reading and read one page, maybe two. Learn a new idea, something you can incorporate into your day, which will improve your results at work or in your relationships. Discover something new that you can use to think better, feel better and live better.

Minute 6. S is for scribing.

Pull out your journal and take one minute to write down something you’re grateful for, something you’re proud of and the top one to three results that you’re committed to creating that day. In doing so, you create the clarity and motivation that you need to take action.

Start today.

How would you feel if that’s how you used the first six minutes of each day? How would the quality of your day — and your life — improve? We can all agree that investing a minimum of six minutes into becoming the person that we need to be to create the lives we truly want is not only reasonable. It’s an absolute must.

10 Truths We Forget Too Easily

10 Truths We Forget Too Easily

Image credit: Cactusbeetroot | Flickr

Some of life’s essential truths need repeating. Keep this list handy and give it a read any time you need a boost.

1. Being Busy Does Not Equal Being Productive

Look at everyone around you. They all seem so busy—running from meeting to meeting and firing off emails. Yet how many of them are really producing, really succeeding at a high level?

Success doesn’t come from movement and activity. It comes from focus—from ensuring that your time is used efficiently and productively.

You get the same number of hours in the day as everyone else. Use yours wisely. After all, you’re the product of your output, not your effort. Make certain your efforts are dedicated to tasks that get results.

Related: How Successful People Stay Productive and In Control

2. Great Success Is Often Preceded By Failure

You will never experience true success until you learn to embrace failure. Your mistakes pave the way for you to succeed by revealing when you’re on the wrong path.

The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box and see the solution that you’ve been missing.

Success takes patience and the ability to maintain a good attitude even while suffering for what you believe in.

3. Fear Is the No. 1 Source of Regret

When it’s all said and done, you will lament the chances you didn’t take far more than you will your failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.

The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.

4. Your Self-Worth Must Come From Within

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. When you feel good about something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments to take that away from you.

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

5. You’re Only as Good as Those You Associate With

You should strive to surround yourself with people who inspire you, people who make you want to be better. And you probably do. But what about the people who drag you down? Why do you allow them to be a part of your life?

Anyone who makes you feel worthless, anxious, or uninspired is wasting your time and, quite possibly, making you more like them. Life is too short to associate with people like this. Cut them loose.

6. Life Is Short

None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Yet, when someone dies unexpectedly it causes us to take stock of our own life: what’s really important, how we spend our time, and how we treat other people.

Loss is a raw, visceral reminder of the frailty of life. It shouldn’t be.

Remind yourself every morning when you wake up that each day is a gift and you’re bound to make the most of the blessing you’ve been given. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing is the moment it will start acting like one.

After all, a great day begins with a great mindset.

Related: Why Leaders Lack Emotional Intelligence

7. You Don’t Have to Wait for an Apology to Forgive

Life goes a lot smoother once you let go of grudges and forgive even those who never said they were sorry. Grudges let negative events from your past ruin today’s happiness. Hate and anger are emotional parasites that destroy your joy in life.

The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge create a stress response in your body, and holding on to stress can have devastating health consequences. Researchers at Emory University have shown that holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.

When you forgive someone, it doesn’t condone their actions; it simply frees you from being their eternal victim.

8. You’re Living the Life You’ve Created

You are not a victim of circumstance. No one can force you to make decisions and take actions that run contrary to your values and aspirations.

The circumstances you’re living in today are your own—you created them. Likewise, your future is entirely up to you. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s probably because you’re afraid to take the risks necessary to achieve your goals and live your dreams.

When it’s time to take action, remember that it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of one you don’t.

9. Live in the Moment

You can’t reach your full potential until you learn to live your life in the present.

No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.

To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things:

  1. Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future.
  2. Accept the uncertainty of the future. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

10. Change Is Inevitable — Embrace It

Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize, and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates.

You’re bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away.

After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Life doesn’t stop for anyone. When things are going well, appreciate them and enjoy them, as they are bound to change. If you are always searching for something more, something better, that you think is going to make you happy, you’ll never be present enough to enjoy the great moments before they’re gone.

A version of this article first appeared on TalentSmart.com.

10 Things You Need To Eliminate From Your Life Immediately

 

1. Negative people.

I think it’s important to keep people in your life who hold your feet to the fire and want to see you achieve your dreams and be the best person you can be. There’s a solid difference between those kinds of people and negative people. Negative people think you’ll fail because they don’t trust you. Negative people don’t even really want you to succeed.

2. Caring about your mistakes.

Learning from your mistakes is crucial for growing and preventing those mistakes in the future, but don’t get hung up on it.

3. Worrying about the past.

Similar to caring about your mistakes, don’t sweat the past. It happened. You can’t go back in time.

4. Your self image.

I used to have real self image problems, but I didn’t fix it by forcing a more positive image on myself. I just stopped having a self image. It’s been incredible. I just don’t care anymore. Leads to some interesting outfits, sure, but life is way more relaxed.

5. Feeling sorry.

If you find yourself apologizing over things you shouldn’t be apologizing for, just knock it off. You’re brainwashing yourself into believing a false reality where you’re always at fault. You aren’t. Quit with the sorry.

6. Saying yes.

If you don’t want to. Don’t be weak in the face of the hard ask. Just say no if you don’t want to.

7. Trying to impress everyone.

You’re probably just fine how you are. No need to dress to impress.

8. Saying what people want to hear.

Hey, be honest. If you have something to say, say it. There’s no need to sugar coat your thoughts and feelings. Be out there, out loud, and real with people. They’ll respect you for it.

9. Your limiting beliefs.

One thing that tends to derail me is the belief that now isn’t the right time. Now is now, and the best time to start anything you want to do is at this moment. Don’t let core beliefs slow you down. They’re here to lift you up, not hold you down.

10. Worrying about the future.

The future is coming one way or the other. Be ready for it, but don’t spend your time in worry about it. It won’t do you any good at all.

 

May 3, 2015