Category: Life Lessons

The 8 Types of Toxic People , Do we need them in our Lives ?

8 Toxic Types of People You Should Keep Out of Your Life

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Toxic individuals are completely exhausting to be around and they can have a negative impact on your forward momentum. Entrepreneurs need to remain laser focused — the distractions and stress that toxic people bring into your life act as unnecessary obstacles, so it is best to avoid them.

You probably know a few toxic people — they might work for you, you might be friends with some or you might even live with someone toxic. The sooner you remove them from your life, the better. Here are eight toxic types of people you should steer clear of.

1. Those who are judgmental

Judgmental people will find a way to criticize anything and everything they come in contact with. You could take the time to explain something to them in great detail but it goes in one ear and out the other. They come to their conclusions before they hear any facts — they don’t listen well and are horrible at communicating. Asking for advice or feedback from a judgmental person is a complete waste of time.

2. Those who are envious

Being an entrepreneur can be a very bumpy journey filled with highs and lows — while it’s important to have a strong group of supporters in your corner during the low times it’s also important to have supporters that are there to congratulate you when you hit the high points. Envious people will not be happy for you — ever. They feel that it should happen to them and nobody else.

3. Those who are control freaks

Control freaks don’t ever want to listen — they don’t have to, because according to them they know everything and they know the best way to do everything. While this type of person can be a nuisance in your personal life, they are a complete nightmare to deal with in a business environment. A successful business structure requires team members that will listen to and follow instructions. If you have control freaks on your team it can cause a “too many cooks in the kitchen” problem.

4. Those who are arrogant

Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance — confident people inspire, while arrogant people intimidate and annoy. Someone with an arrogant attitude feels he or she is better than everyone around them. In a personal setting this can be annoying, while in a professional situation this can create an uncomfortable environment.

5. Those who are victims

The constant victim will always make excuses and blame others for their mistakes and wrongdoing. They are some of the most toxic people to be around — they will never accept responsibility and always point the finger, which causes a domino affect of the blame game in a work setting. Flush them out of your business and eliminate that headache.

6. Those who are Negative Nancy’s

Someone who is always negative will drain your positive energy immediately — they thrive on bringing everyone down around them. You will never receive any words of encouragement from a Negative Nancy. They will discredit every idea you have and instead of being supportive they will go out of their way to point out every possible way you could fail, rather than focus on possibilities and potential. They are a major energy-suck.

7. Those who are liars

To be successful you have to surround yourself with other successful individuals that you can trust and count on to be there for you. You can’t trust liars and it’s hard to count on them because you never know if they are lying or telling the truth. That type of uncertainty will wear you out quickly — eliminate them from your life and you won’t have to wonder if you are being lied to.

8. Those who are gossipers

People gossip because they are insecure — they don’t know how to separate fact from speculation and when truths get twisted, the wrong information is conveyed, feelings get hurt and enemies are born. Having a gossiper within your business can be very destructive — they are cancers and can quickly create a negative environment.

If any of these ring a bell, then there is a good chance you are being exposed to toxic individuals. You should consider removing them from the equation, allowing you to remain 100 percent focused on reaching your goals without unnecessary distractions.

I vowed to remove all toxic people from my personal life and business in 2015, and by doing so I have created a much better environment for myself and my company.

 

Contributor – Jonathan Long May 11, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Psychology Relationships Self Improvement Spiritual Awareness Superior State of Mind Toxic People Well Being

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Often Overlooked Secrets to Success

An Often-Overlooked Secret to Success

Image credit: Wes Peck | Flickr

In his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini lists six principles of ethical persuasion. The first s reciprocity. “The reciprocity rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us,” Cialdini states. And therein lies the key to what I’ll call the oft-overlooked secret to success: appreciation for what another person does for us.

Cialdini relates an experiment a university professor tried several years ago: He sent Christmas cards to a select list of complete strangers. And the response was overwhelming. He received dozens of thank-you holiday cards back from these people he’d never met. Why? Because they appreciated getting a card from him and, as the law of reciprocity says, we respond to a positive action with another positive action.

How can this help you as an entrepreneur?

When you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude for what has been given to you, you are actually in a state of abundance — appreciating what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Because what you focus on expands, if you are constantly focusing on what you can do for others and at the same time appreciating the things you already have, you will inevitably get more of what you want because that is your focus.

Remember, like attracts like. The more you are in an appreciative state, the more you will attract that which you yourself are appreciative for.

My friend, Lamar, completely lights up whenever I give him a gift. I love his genuine reaction of thankfulness so much that now I look for special things I know he’ll like, just so I can surprise him. His appreciation causes me to continue to give.

What if you similarly gave your audience something every day with no expectation of reciprocation? What would that do for your own psyche and your business’s bottom line? There is a famous biblical scripture that says, “Practice giving and people will give to you.” Have you tried that lately? Here are three practical tips on how you can display this concept in your life and business:

1. Create an alert on your phone to go off three times a day.

When it does, take time to be grateful for three things in your life. Make time to appreciate three people in your life. And look for three ways you can give something useful to your clients.

2. Surprise someone.

Recall a time when you received a completely unexpected gift out of the blue. How did it make you feel? I want you to create that feeling for someone else. When you make someone else feel appreciated, you will be remembered. Look for ways to make your customers feel that they are one of a kind.

3. Think about the three ways in which our brains take in information.

There are three ways in which we can express our appreciation for others. Some people need to hear it, others need to see it and still others need to feel or experience it. Once you determine the dominant type preferred by those you’re trying to reach, the sky’s the limit.

 

Contributor – Meiko Patton

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Folklore Inspirational Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Positive Thoughts Psychology Self Esteem Spiritual Awareness Spiritual Energy Success Superior State of Mind Well Being

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The Successful Optimist

Possible Not Impossible

Why the language you use makes a difference

 

Glass half-empty or half-full? Does it really matter? As it turns out, it does matter how you explain that glass and the world around you. Those who explain things one way are better salespeople, have less depression and are more motivated than those who see things the opposite way. The good news is that if you can recognize your language pattern, you can do something about it and actually change how you respond.

It’s about a thing called your explanatory style, and Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman has conducted more than 600 studies that prove that optimistic explanations get you the good stuff, while pessimistic ones will often end exactly how you predict them to–badly. Here are a few things essential to understanding the science around explanatory style:

  1. Optimists make more money and are more loyal. In a study with life insurance agents, Seligman found that the most optimistic salespeople sold 88 percent more than the most pessimistic ones. The study also indicated that agents in the least optimistic quarter were three times likelier to quit than agents in the most optimistic quarter. Other studies have shown that this data is consistent with findings in other business categories.
  2. The optimist with high reality testing is a gold mine. Optimism is not about fooling yourself and being all rosy; it is about seeing options to reality–i.e., being an “optionist.” That requires having a good lock on what is actually happening. To be a successful optimist, you must also have an accurate barometer on reality. If you are correct about reality, you can become an excellent “optionist.” Most people think of optimists as flaky nonrealists, which they can be if their perception of reality is distorted. If you are an optimist based in realism, you are statistically more likely to make more money.
  3. Pessimists are more accurate about reality than optimists. When good things happen, pessimists are accurate. When bad things happen, again they are accurate. For the optimist, when good things happen, they are accurate; but when bad things happen, they are less accurate. Therein lies the gift they have. Optimists think that there are more options when bad things happen. So they try different things in order to get out of a jam. Serious pessimists usually give up once they think the outcome is foretold.
  4. There is nothing wrong with being a pessimist. If your job requires high accuracy, pessimism may actually benefit you. Look out for what I explain in the next bullet before you succumb to pessimism, though.
  5. Pessimists are more likely to become depressed than their optimistic counterparts. If an optimist loses a job, it will take, on average, four to six weeks to get back into the hunt. If a pessimist loses a job, it can take three to six months before emerging to see the light.
  6. Optimists keep moving forward because they believe there are options. Pessimists don’t usually persist in the face of setbacks and can be prone to inertia. When salespeople are rejected again and again, it is the optimist who makes another phone call while the pessimist gets down in the mouth and gives up.

optimism

 

The Fix
You’re probably wondering how you go from being a pessimist to an optimist. The fix itself is simple to understand but can be difficult to execute because you’ve been practicing your explanatory style for at least a few decades now. It’s going to take a lot of dedication, a hyper-awareness of how you explain events–primarily bad ones–and a willingness to accept that maybe you are a big negative thinker who has gotten by because you keep a smile plastered on your face while predicting the end of the world. It’s time to get over that and get more out of life and work.

When bad events happen, pessimists tend to explain the calamity as:

  • Permanent –Behind on earnings: “We’re never going to hit our numbers.” The pessimist believes that he’s hit the iceberg, so the team is doomed. There is no point in problem-solving at this point, since the ship is going down anyway.
  • Pervasive –Mad at your accountant: “Accountants are such losers.” This is the tendency to explain all people or things in a category as bad if only one is bad.

A little tweak in explanatory style when bad things happen and you become an optimist:

  • Temporary –Behind on earnings: “This is a bad quarter, but next quarter we have a few things in the pipeline to make up for this quarter.” The optimist looks for options when things are bad, making the situation a temporary negative. This keeps them and others motivated.
  • Specific –Mad at your accountant: “I need to get a new accountant. This one’s not working out.” The optimist doesn’t throw all bad people and things into the same category. They are specific about who or what is bad, and then they go find a good one.

In short, you’re more pessimistic if, when something negative happens, you believe that there are no other options (permanence) or that since there is one rotten apple, all of them are rotten (pervasiveness). It doesn’t take much to see that a pessimist can get depressed in a big hurry with that kind of explanatory style. You can also see how it probably leads to inertia.

The opposite explanation style is found in optimists and pessimists when good events happen. Pessimists think that if something good happens, it’s temporary, explaining that the stars aligned perfectly and probably won’t do so again in our lifetime. On the other hand, optimists are more permanent when explaining good events. They believe that good happens because they have the right ingredients to create that positive event every time. Pessimists are specific about explaining the reason for good events, and when bad things occur, they believe it is pervasive.

It is a choice you get to make. If you don’t think you have a choice, you’re exactly right. Enjoy the misery of it all.

 

Contributor Scott Halford

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Categories: Entrepreneur Inspirational Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Positive Thoughts Self Esteem Self Improvement Success Wealth

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11:11 – Is it Happening to You?

11:11 – Is it Happening to You?

 Our Spirit Guides, angels, or higher selves like to speak to us through various methods, such as playing a recurring song on the radio that may have special significance, answering a prayer, flipping to a certain page in a book we’re reading, or even directing our attention to repeating numbers on a clock or sign, such as 11:11. At first, this occurrence might seem like a silly coincidence, but by looking further into it, you will find that it has a powerful spiritual message hidden within.

More and more people seem to notice these repeating numbers on the clock, on roadside billboards, signs, and other places lately, which only provides further truth that a massive shift in consciousness and awareness is taking place. This phenomenon basically occurs to remind us of the profound synchronicities and cosmic shifts occurring during this beautiful time on the planet, and also brings our attention to our present thoughts and feelings. The underlying intention of our angels bringing our awareness to 11:11 is to make us more conscious of ourselves, and remind us that we always have guidance and a greater wisdom to rely on anytime we feel stuck, scared, or frustrated.According to Doreen Virtue, a well-known angel therapist and psychic medium between the spirit world and human world, seeing repeating numbers, especially 11:11, means you should focus on keeping your thoughts positive, because your desires will manifest instantly into form. Put all your attention on what you desire instead of what you fear, and your angels will continue to reward you.The more 1’s you see on a clock, sign, or anything else with numbers, the stronger the connection between yourself and your spirit guides or angels. Millions of people all over the world can attest to seeing these numbers more often, which only suggests that more of us have begun our journeys to becoming Lightworkers, or healers for the planet. Since the Earth is in such a state of disarray outwardly, so many humans have been called upon in order to bring back peace and harmony to the planet, making our Earth a true Garden of Eden on which we can all thrive and enjoy the human experience.According to the Mayan Calendar, the turning of ages began on December 21, 2012 at 11:11, marking a New Age on our planet – a literal shift in consciousness from the Dark Age to the Golden Age. Another interesting thing about 11:11 is that the numbers add up to four, which is the number for transformation and the dissolving of the ego. Many healers and spiritual leaders on Earth interpret 11:11 to mean that the ascended masters have come back to the planet to aid us in this grand healing and help bring Earth back into alignment once again.

 

Related: Angel Numbers Are you Aware of Them ?

Any time you see numbers repeating themselves, specifically 11:11, your angels want you to know that you are on the right path, and that they will protect you no matter what adversities you face. During this time, we must become masters of ourselves, instead of succumbing to the negativity and chaos around us. We have literally created this world due to a lack of self-control, so now our masters have reminded us that we must reclaim our internal power and once again learn to govern ourselves, learning to coexist with all beings on the planet.

This is a very exciting time here on Earth, despite what you may see going on around you. As the grand healing and transformation continues to unfold, small changes will soon amount to much more significant changes as the veil is lifted and more people are awakened to our Oneness. It might seem difficult right now, but continue to trust in the angels, and know that they have your best intentions at heart.

We are all one family, and we are in this together. Don’t look outside yourself for any answers; it will only lead to more confusion and feelings of disempowerment. Trust in the power of the universe to help you heal, and anytime you notice 11:11, monitor your thoughts and make sure that your vibration matches what you want to see in your physical reality.

Admin Cymantra  May 31 2015

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Categories: Angels Energy Folklore Inspirational Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Positive Thoughts Psychology Self Improvement Spiritual Awareness Spiritual Energy Success Unsolved Mysteries

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Six Behaviors Business People Loathe

6 Behaviors People in Business Loathe

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Our success is often defined by the things that we do and less by the things that we say — I really do believe it can be that simple. This often comes down to the trust that is built by our actions when we interact with others, yet we’re constantly surrounded by people that just can’t seem to figure it out — whether intentionally or not.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a small laundry list of actions that, if you find yourself doing, you really should stop — right now.

1. Don’t do what you say you’re going to.

Here’s the deal: If you can create one rule in your life that has the capacity to tremendously alter outcomes, it’s this one. Just do what you say you’re going to do. The benefit of this seemingly simple ask is that the vast majority of your fellow human beings just won’t or can’t. They’ll make promises and commitments that they either don’t have the intention or purely the bandwidth to follow through on — so when you do, you’ll look like a superhero.

2. Constantly looking at your phone.

Yes, we’re all guilty of this from time to time — or all the time in some extremely inconsiderate cases. The reality is, what you’re telling those around you is that they’re not important. What is important is the gadget in your hand that has you so transfixed it’s as if its mere use is extending your life by rewarding you with credits to the lost fountain of youth. Guess what, it’s not.

Do yourself a favor and put your pocket computer on silent in your pocket when you’re engaging with others — whatever is happening on Candy Crush can wait.

3. Your lack of eye contact.

I know, this is pretty simple, but I’m going to take it in a bit of different direction. I’m not referring to the first introduction, “it’s nice to meet you” type of eye contact — although that’s super important too — I’m referring to when we’re sitting at lunch and you’re having a hard time focusing, which is represented by your incessant looking about the room or at the TV behind me.

If you can’t focus on a discussion, how are you to be trusted to focus on a considerably more complicated project, task or job?

4. You talk about yourself, non-stop.

When you’re engaged in conversation and find yourself out of breath whilst deep into a series of self satisfying stories about you-know-who, what you’re really saying is that you care only about yourself and likely possess an ego that has may never be tamed. Guess what? You’ll get a lot further in life by asking a few questions, closing your yapper and just listening intently. Try it and watch magic happen.

 

Related: Five Negative Traits that may be Pushing People Away

5. You’re late.

There’s not much worse than dealing with someone that can’t keep track of their own schedule and, as a result, is late to scheduled calls or meetings. All you’re really telling the world, or at least those that are waiting for you, is that your time is more valuable than theirs and you’re completely incompetent when it comes to managing your own schedule. I know, things happen. Here’s a solution: plan accordingly.

6. Using acronyms.

Every business and industry is fraught with top-secret jargon and confusing acronyms. When you find yourself spouting them off while amongst those that aren’t in your industry or may not understand them, it’s often perceived that you’re posturing with the intent to show the world how smart you are — and by default, how stupid they are. It’s OK to use your code words, but just be sure to be conscious of those around you and take the time to explain what they mean.

What are some behaviors that you think should be stopped immediately? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

Adam Callinan April 16, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Extraordinary People Inspirational Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Psychology Relationships Self Improvement Success

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Five Negative Traits That May Be Pushing People Away

5 Horrible Traits That Push People Away

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There are certain bad habits that some people have that simply drive others away. As the old saying goes, every person has something good to offer. But for some, it’s when they leave the room. Are people happy when you walk in or overjoyed when you walk out?

Here are five negative traits that push people away, how to recognize if you have them and how to get rid of them for good.

1. You’re a downer.

We’ve all been around these people. They whine, they complain, they talk about how much is going wrong in their lives and they want to tell you every detail of it.

How do you know if it’s you that’s the downer? Pay attention to what you’re talking about the most. Did you complain about traffic as your opening line when you got to your meeting this morning? Did you make sure to tell those around you how little sleep you got last night, how hard you’re working or how busy you are?

If the constant theme of your conversation is whining or negative, you’re probably a bit of a downer to be around. Notice how you are starting conversations with your peers and if the theme is consistently complaining, it’s time to change your tune. Another sign is if your peers take a deep sigh as you approach or consistently respond “uh-huh,” which is a sign they don’t want to engage.

How do you stop it? This is one of the simplest, but hardest to fix. The simple part is all you have to do is stop talking about things that bum you out and make everyone else bummed out, too. Try starting with noticing something nice or good every time you are about to complain. If you’re stuck in traffic, notice something beautiful around and focus on that to talk about with your peers. If you didn’t get much sleep, try not to talk about it. If someone says you look tired, offer a positive response like, “Yeah, I didn’t get a ton of sleep, but wait until I show you how great the project proposal is that I got done!”

There can always be a more positive counterpoint to your complaining. Find it, and try to change the conversation.

2.  You don’t shut up.

Have you ever been around a person who won’t stop talking? Maybe it was a boss, a co-worker, a founder or even a passenger on an airplane. It can feel like bobbing helplessly in the ocean, watching a giant wave come at you that you just know is going to pummel you with a wall of words. You want to take a deep breath, hold on for dear life and suffer through the verbal assault of chattiness.

How can you tell if you’re the ocean wave people are dreading? A few good signs to pay attention to are the airspace you take up in conversations and the reactions people have to your approach. Just like being a downer, when you talk too much, people tend to either scatter as you approach for no apparent reason, or respond in quick “uh-huh” responses to not engage you any further than is necessary.

Do people stand a lot when talking to you? That’s another body language clue they’re looking to get away quick, or aren’t willing to sit, knowing that means you’re going to hold them captive in your conversation. If you find you talk at people instead of with people, that you dominate the majority of every meeting and conversation, guess what? You need to learn how to stop talking so much.

The good news is, just like being a downer, the solution is easy — stop talking! That can be hard for someone used to being a chatterbox. Practical advice is to practice holding your tongue longer. In meetings, try to trade off listening and talking in alternating turns. Share airtime around the table for others to voice their opinions, too. Try counting to three in your head before you speak to make sure you aren’t choking out other voices in the room.

With some practice, you can turn this terrible habit around (and you’ll probably gain a lot of friends back as a result!).

3. You’re distracted.

We all have important things to do in our day, but if you’re the guy or gal that’s always on your phone talking, texting and emailing while others are trying to talk to you, have dinner with you or hold a meeting you’re in — guess what? That’s a horrible habit people hate.

How can you tell if you’re the distracted one? Do you find yourself asking, “what was that again?” often throughout the day? That’s a great sign you aren’t paying attention to others. Do you ever look up from a meeting or conversation and see everyone else is off the phone and laptop except you? If you’re constantly digitally distracted, try leaving the phone, tablet or laptop at home for your next dinner appointment or meeting.

Related: Six Behaviors Business People Loathe

It can be hard to disconnect from your digital devices, but you’ll gain important human connections that you need to garner healthy, happy relationships. Ditch the dirty digital distraction habit and reconnect with individuals, giving them the attention they deserve from you.

4. You’re condescending.

Even if you know more than others, what’s more inspiring: teaching how to get to your level, or talking down to them about theirs? Being condescending is a horrible habit that will alienate others.

How can you tell if you’re condescending? It’s often in others more than you. What does that mean? Look at the people in your life and take stock of how many are better off having known you. Do you mentor others? Have you helped people around you gain skills, knowledge, jobs or in any other way helped to develop others to teach what you know? How many people would come to you for help with a problem or for a question?

Pay attention to the way you treat others. Do you help them, or talk down to them? Do you offer advice when it isn’t asked for (which can be another key sign of condescending, thinking you need to tell others what to do and how to do it)? If these patterns sound familiar, try a change in tone and a change in perspective.

Instead of offering advice, only give it when specifically asked. Stay on topic when asked and don’t make your advice go broader than the request. Try teaching the next time someone makes a mistake instead of berating them.

Patience, an affinity to teaching and some compassion will help you break this horrible habit.

5. You’re insincere.

People can sniff out a fake fast these days. There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion or a perspective that doesn’t match up to everyone else. You don’t have to be fake or insincere about your opinion or others. It’s better to be kind, but honest, than to pretend.

Most people who are insincere either are that way because they’re insecure, which stems from a desire to have everyone like them, or they’re condescending.

If your insincerity comes from insecurity, here are a few ways to tell. Do you worry that saying no or having a different opinion will mean people don’t like you? Do you worry about what others think? Do you constantly go along to get along? The truth is that most people respect a healthy disagreement or can accommodate other perspectives and opinions. You don’t have to be obnoxious or forceful in your opinions, but it’s OK to be sincere about having a different perspective.

A great way to start overcoming this habit of being a contrarian is simply to not offer your opinion at all. When someone tells you something you don’t agree with, try simply saying something neutral such as, “that’s interesting,” and leaving it at that until you build up the confidence to be authentic.

The most important thing is to stop agreeing, or saying yes to things you don’t want to do, don’t believe in or are otherwise faking agreement on. Start slow and you can beat this bad habit.

Contributor Matthew Toren May 28, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Inspirational Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Positive Outlook Psychology Self Improvement Spiritual Energy Well Being

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The 4 Simple Changes that can Help you Become a Successful Entrepreneur

The 4 Changes That Won Me $2 Million

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I thought, and not for the first time, about the freedom I’d lost, and craved, about the workdays that had devolved into series of to-do lists. I felt deeply that I needed to make some major changes or risk losing myself to my business.

So. . . I made those changes. And that turnabout was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Ultimately, the changes I made to take better care of myself and to value my time enabled me to land my first multimillion-dollar contract.

What were those changes? There were four that enabled my success — and they can serve any entrepreneur:

1. Stop believing in “busy” and rethink “hard work.”

I viewed my mounting task-list as a sign that I was doing well. But it was just the opposite: I had become too distracted and spread myself too thin to make any valuable progress.

To turn things around, I thought deeply about the woman I wanted to be and what I wanted my employees and clients to feel when they thought of my company. I cut anything from my schedule that didn’t align with whom I desired to be and the culture I wanted to create for my team. I began saying “no” to anything that didn’t inspire me.

I thought about Stacy Snapp-Killian, an entrepreneur, mother and member of the women’s leadership movement, who began JustUs Love. I thought about how, when she was starting her business, her mother made her promise not to date for a year.

“I didn’t understand this request until after fulfilling it,” Snapp-Killian says. “It meant sacrificing my weekends, but I was able to do so much with my extra time. In one year, my business grew into a YouTube series and social media buzz, and I published my first book.”

You can follow Snapp-Killian’s lead and not date for a year, or decide to do the exact opposite — prioritize dating and make your business secondary. The point is to align your daily mission with what’s most important to you in order to fulfill your individual definition of success.

2. Make yourself the priority.

I let my mental and physical health fall to the bottom of my priority list, and that mistake started to tear apart everything good. I experienced extreme mood swings, was short with people and constantly tried to “keep up.” Operating from that place didn’t allow me to do anything at my best.

When a coach I worked with helped me realize I had to take care of myself before I could be of service to my company, I mustered the courage to cut all unnecessary “business” from my life and make space and time for myself. Dropping some unnecessary tasks gave me the clarity to focus on and grow my business in the right way, which played an integral role in my winning that first multimillion-dollar contract.

As Mindy Lamont, founder of The Insurist, says, you have to make a habit of trimming the fat. “There are always things you can eliminate in your life to make it more efficient,” she says. It’s a practice, not a one-time thing.

3. Get creative with time management.

For a long time, I had burned myself out trying to squeeze my work into the space of “acceptable” working hours. I was going through a period in my life when my energy peaked at 8 pm. Yet had I allowed myself, I would have gotten into “the zone,” from 8 pm to 11 pm, which is when I finish some of my best work.

Once I stopped forcing myself into a typical business-hours schedule, I gave myself the freedom to design my days around my energy levels. My productivity and contributions soared.

4. Stop mindlessly chasing business.

Many entrepreneurs feel the need to chase all leads — even ones that aren’t ROI-positive and don’t fit their business model. My team used to feverishly pitch clients in any industry if an opportunity popped up. But once we focused our attention and resources on the healthcare industry, for example, we were able to win the 1-800-MEDICARE support contract, which has been one of our company’s most rewarding accomplishments.

So, take a lesson from my experience: If the current price for your business is your sanity, it’s time for a change. You may not succeed at every lofty goal you dream up, but if you’re willing to make tough decisions, eliminate distractions and clarify your focus, you’ll succeed at the things you care about most.

Contributor Sumi Krishnan May 27, 2015

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Is Artificial Intelligence Becoming a Reality?

Photo credit: 3D rendered robotic girl in helmet by Ociacia via Shutterstock

Professor Geoff Hinton, hired by Google, thinks that he’s on the brink of designing computer programs with the often overlooked “power of common sense.” For some people, having a robot partner with common sense might be a step up from their current “boo.”

Hinton is helping to develop new algorithms for computers that will be able to chat to us as though they were another human. Other than natural conversation, Hinton also thinks that they are on the verge of programs that can use logic, and maybe even flirt with us. (Is that an external hard drive in your pocket or… oh never mind).

This may seem ridiculous, but it might not be too long until you can go out and grab a cup of Java with a robot companion. “It’s not that far-fetched,” Hinton said. “I don’t see why it shouldn’t be like a friend. I don’t see why you shouldn’t grow quite attached to them.”

Hinton thinks that a flirtatious program would “probably be quite simple” to create, although “It probably wouldn’t be subtly flirtatious to begin with, but it would be capable of saying borderline politically incorrect phrases.” (Wait, that isn’t flirting?)

“You have to be master of the literal first,” Hinton said, “But then, Americans don’t get irony either. Computers are going to reach the level of Americans before Brits.”

Creating logic in the robots starts by devolving the skillful art of conversation (and romance) down to a sequence of numbers. Every thought can be given a “thought vector”. It sounds a bit too fantastical to be able to turn complex processes, like thoughts, into a couple of digits, “But there’s no reason why not. I think you can capture a thought by a vector,” Hinton muses.

Introducing your robot girlfriend or boyfriend to your parents might be a problem for the next generation. (Should we “crash” at your house or mine?) Nonetheless, it’s interesting to start thinking of the implications early on. How many jobs could “logic-bots” replace? Can a robot “love”? Would they need to buy a train ticket?

Hinton’s contribution to thinking about the future comes as a sobering warning and is not to be brushed off lightly. “I’m more scared about the things that have already happened,” said Hinton.

“The NSA is already bugging everything that everybody does. Each time there’s a new revelation from Snowden, you realize the extent of it.”

“I am scared that if you make the technology work better, you help the NSA misuse it more,” he added. “I’d be more worried about that than about autonomous killer robots.”

With every new technology that comes out, there’s always going to be the possibility that someone will abuse it in the name of wrong-doing. But are the risks of abusing robotic friends just too dangerous for humanity’s freedom?

May 22, 2015 | by Caroline Reid

[Via The Guardian]

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Categories: Artificial Intelligence Life Lessons Psychology Robots Superior State of Mind Your Mind

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10 Business Lessons You can Learn at Bars

10 Business Lessons I Learned at Bars

Back in college and my early 20s (when I actually had a social life), I tended to go out to parties and bars more often than I thought I “should.” My gut often told me that I should probably be studying, reading, exercising, sleeping, networking or otherwise engaging in productive activities that were more likely to directly advance my career. But I went out anyway. Those informal outings with my drinking buddies felt like a fun (and deserved) distraction from work rather than a process of self-development in and of itself.

In retrospect, I now realize how formative those years of partying really were for my career. I learned a ton of social lessons that have tremendously helped me later in life.

Of course, you do not actually have to drink alcohol or go to bars to develop these business socialization skills, but the fast-paced social environment involved in nightlife does provide a great setting for that type of personal development. This is an important lesson for passionate entrepreneurs who become such workaholics that they forget the importance of socialization.

1. Be patient yet persistent.

We’ve all experienced that frustrating moment when the bartender seems to be ignoring us in favor of other customers. Veteran bar patrons handle this impression of rejection by maintaining a visible presence and by making multiple (polite) attempts to gain the bartender’s attention.

Just like in sales or fundraising, people tend to serve our needs better when we project an air of confidence and respectful persistence. Frequent bouts of rejection and recovery build character.

2. Tip the bartender early.

Taking good care of your service providers early in the night is the fastest way to improve your quality of service as the night progresses. This same lesson goes for employees, clients and investors. Recognizing people for their performance (particularly in unexpected ways) will improve both the quality of their work and the strength of your relationship.

3. Fake it ‘til you make it.

At a trendy urban night club, it’s often easy to feel like the shortest, ugliest, poorest, worst-dressed or least cool person in the room. The dirty secret is that every partygoer has felt one of these emotions at some point. People who succeed socially (and in business) don’t necessarily possess all the desired qualities from the outset. They simply succeed in convincing themselves that they are awesome until other people start believing it too.

4. Don’t always go for the most attractive girl (or guy).

One of my favorite scenes from A Beautiful Mind was the bar scene when Russell Crowe’s character explained his game theory epiphany in the context of which woman his friends should flirt with. He cautioned them against going for the most attractive woman at the risk of alienating the other women with whom they had a better chance.

This allegory can be used to illustrate not only game theory but also the “80-20 rule.” Sometimes, rather than playing all your cards targeting the world’s best sales prospect, dating opportunity or venture capitalist, you will attain a higher return on investment by starting with targets that are more “in your league.” Impress other key players until the elites have no choice but to pay attention to you.

5. Pace yourself.

Nobody likes a rookie who drinks too much, pukes and passes out before midnight. Nor does anybody like a manager who is bouncing from one fire-drill emergency to the next, or an employee who procrastinates and then has to cram at the last minute. A more responsible and experienced partier learns to plan ahead, get some food in his or her stomach and drink a glass of water between every other adult beverage.

Moderation builds character. Personal restraint and composure are some of the traits needed to become a poised, collected manager in the face of a crisis or urgent deadline.

6. Double your expense forecasts.

Every battle plan becomes worthless once the first shot is fired. Over time, a veteran partier learns that the statement “I’m only spending $40 tonight and only staying out until midnight” is rarely a promise they can uphold.

Learning that every project ends up taking twice as long and costing twice as much as originally planned can help you choose your projects better and prepare more honest forecasts that you can adhere to. That new project — or night on the town — might not actually be worth the can of worms it might open in the first place.

7. Follow up with new relationships.

Throughout the night at a bar, party or business event, you typically have great conversations with people you’ve never met before. Each of these people could potentially become a friend or important contact — provided that you do the work to follow up.

Whenever you meet someone you like, always remember to ask for their contact info so you can follow up the next day. Send an email, tweet, text, Facebook message, LinkedIn request or whatever is appropriate for the relationship, and come up with some reason to reconnect soon (coffee, a party invite, a bike ride, a phone call, an invitation to play basketball at your local park or maybe even just virtually discussing an article that you thought they might like).

Your success in life is directly proportional to the number of awesome people with whom you are connected.

8. Fail fast.

Sometimes the current bar just isn’t the right fit. The vibe is dead, the band sucks and there’s a smell coming from the bathroom. But half of your friends are only halfway done with their drinks, and the other half figure they’ll order another round while the others finish. The cycle continues until — before you know it — you’ve spent the whole evening at that crappy bar.

A smart partygoer, and manager, can tell when the team is becoming overly committed to a dead-end initiative. She or he knows when and how to convince the group to stop investing in the current solution, before too many resources have been invested in it. “Agile” managers both have more fun and invest their resources more efficiently. They know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

9. Take leadership when nobody else will.

There’s nothing worse than asking your friends, “What restaurant do you want to go to?” and getting the collective response “I don’t care, whatever you guys want.” This indifference can dampen a group dynamic pretty quickly. Groups actually want someone to steer decision-making to establish clarity and understanding among members.

Whether in nightlife or in business, you begin to learn that that someone can be you. Learning to take initiative is possibly the largest single contributor to success in life.

10. Designate a voice of reason in your group.

All groups need at least one designated driver to abstain from the Kool-Aid and ensure that the team members make rational decisions. Even with a great, visionary CEO to steer the bar-hopping itinerary, few groups can truly achieve greatness without a sober COO to keep everyone realistic and pragmatic.

Overall, learning to consistently have a fun, efficient and safe night out with your friends can prepare you for a lot of the challenges that can be thrown at you later in life. The best side effect is that you emerge from these youthful social activities with a network based on real friendships.

Whether you are hanging out at bars, playing in sports leagues or participating in a chess club, learning to confidently make the most of your personal relationships will help you become more successful throughout your career.

Andrew Cohen May 19, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Extraordinary People Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Money Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Self Improvement Success Wealth

How to Transform Your Life in 6 Minutes a Day

Minute 1: S is for silence.

Instead of hitting the snooze button, and then rushing through your day feeling stressed and overwhelmed, invest your first minute in sitting in purposeful silence. Sit quietly, calm and peaceful and breathe deeply. Maybe you meditate. Center yourself and create an optimum state of mind that will lead you effectively through the rest of your day.

Maybe you say a prayer of gratitude and appreciate the moment. As you sit in silence, you quiet your mind, relax your body and allow your stress to melt away. You develop a deeper sense of clarity, purpose, and direction.

Minute 2: A is for Affirmations.

Pull out and read your page of affirmations — written statements that remind you of your unlimited potential, your most important goals and the actions you must take today to achieve them. Reading over reminders of how capable you really are motivates you. Looking over which actions you must take, re-energizes you to focus on doing what’s necessary today to takeyour life to the next level.

Minute 3. V is for visualization.

Close your eyes and visualize what it will look like and feel like when you reach your goals. Seeing your ideal vision increases your belief that it’s possible and your desire to make it a reality.

Minute 4. E is for exercise.

Stand up and move your body for 60 seconds, long enough to increase the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain. You could easily do a minute of jumping jacks, push-ups, or sit-ups. The point is that you raise your heart rate, generate energy and increase your ability to be alert and focused.

Minute 5. R is for reading.

Grab the self-help book you’re currently reading and read one page, maybe two. Learn a new idea, something you can incorporate into your day, which will improve your results at work or in your relationships. Discover something new that you can use to think better, feel better and live better.

Minute 6. S is for scribing.

Pull out your journal and take one minute to write down something you’re grateful for, something you’re proud of and the top one to three results that you’re committed to creating that day. In doing so, you create the clarity and motivation that you need to take action.

Start today.

How would you feel if that’s how you used the first six minutes of each day? How would the quality of your day — and your life — improve? We can all agree that investing a minimum of six minutes into becoming the person that we need to be to create the lives we truly want is not only reasonable. It’s an absolute must.

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Inspirational Life Hacks Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Money Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Psychology Self Improvement Spiritual Energy Success Superior State of Mind Wealth

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