Category: Self Esteem

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go & Move On

feature_image_template9-620x400We find out how strong we are in the moments of uncertainty life inevitably gives us. The unplanned events – layoffs, death, disease or divorce – can come crashing into our world at any moment.

Then the questionable life changes crop up. Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life.

The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. He told me, “Giving up is not an option,” which so many of us believe.

But when holding on to something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live have an expiration date. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.

Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.

To avoid the toxic outburst of staying in situations that no longer serve you, ask yourself if any of the following 20 signs apply.

20 Signs It’s Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.

2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.

3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.

4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.

5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.

6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.

7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.

8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.

9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.

10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.

11. When you have lost your passion and joy.

12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.

13. When you stop having fun.

14. When you fear this is the best it will be.

15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.

16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.

17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.

18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.

19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.

20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.

This list serves as a compassionate guide to help you make the right choice for you. If you found yourself saying yes to the majority of these questions, it may be time for you to take a step forward and let go. Trust your future and know you will be guided to happiness.

Source: Mind Body Green

Photo Credit: Banksy

What are the Best Cannabis Strains for Anxiety Relief ?

ARCHIV - Eine von der Polizei entdeckte Cannabis-Plantage, aufgenommen in Made, Niederlande, am 26.08.2011. Die Niederlande wollen nach Medienangaben ihre Drogenpolitik weiter verschärfen und einen Großteil der bislang legalen Cannabisprodukte verbieten. Softdrogen wie Haschisch und Marihuana sollen künftig als illegales Rauschgift eingestuft werden, wenn sie mehr als 15 Prozent des Wirkstoffs THC enthalten Foto: Robert van den Berge (Zu dpa vom 06.10.2011)

The relationship between cannabis and anxiety is a complicated one. For some, a small puff of cannabis provides unrivaled relief of worry, panic, stress, and other anxiety-related symptoms. Unfortunately others experience heightened paranoia and exacerbated anxiety with marijuana. This common reaction can be attributed to a strain’s THC content, but what many people don’t realize is there are many strains now that have little to no THC. These low-THC, high-CBD strains are changing the game for anxiety sufferers, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t strains rich in THC that can’t also help.

The first step to picking a good strain to combat your anxiety is recognizing your tolerance and sensitivity, and step two involves experimenting with new strains to determine which best suit your symptoms. This guide is meant to help you through the discovery process as it points out the nuances to look for the next time you visit your local dispensary.

Best Cannabis Strains for Generalized Anxiety

Leafly Granddaddy Purple cannabis strain tileLeafly Granddaddy Purple cannabis strain effects

Many people prefer indicas over sativas because they relax the mind rather than supercharge it. For this reason we recommend Granddaddy Purple, which eases you into a peaceful mindset while urging your body to release all that stress and tension.

Leafly Jack Herer cannabis strain tileLeafly Jack Herer cannabis strain effects

A high-THC sativa typically wouldn’t be our first recommendation for anxiety; they tend to have racy cerebral effects that tug at anxiety rather than help it. But Jack Herer is different in that its euphoria tapers in gently with calming effects that could possibly be explained by Jack’s relaxing parent, Northern Lights.

Leafly Cannatonic cannabis strain tileLeafly Cannatonic cannabis strain effects

For the THC-sensitive, we recommend the high-CBD hybrid Cannatonic. This strain typically has a CBD profile that sizes up to its THC content in a 1:1 ratio, which helps blunt the anxious edge that a lot of anxiety-sufferers experience with cannabis. Cannatonic tends to also boast high levels of the terpene myrcene, which contributes to this strain’s deeply relaxing attributes.

Leafly user kevinbsmith14“I’m not very good when it comes to marijuana with high THC contents as the effects give me anxiety. Cannatonic is high in CBD and low(er) in THC and is a great combination! It helps relieve stress and anxiety… without causing any!”

Best Cannabis Strains for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Leafly Girl Scout Cookies cannabis strain tileLeafly Girl Scout Cookies cannabis strain effects

Girl Scout Cookies has numerous Cannabis Cup awards to back up its reputation for containing staggering amounts of THC. White this may seem like a panic attack waiting to happen, studies have shown that people with PTSD often have a deficiency of a naturally occurring THC-like compound called anandamide, which plays a role in memory. When we consider the fact that THC can replenish these compounds for therapeutic benefit, it’s easy to see why so many PTSD patients sing GSC’s praises.

Leafly user jennidy“Great for PTSD-related symptoms. Vaped last night and slept really well (no night terrors) after a relaxed night with my partner. Felt equal and balanced the next day, with a much lower level of anxiety.”

Leafly Canna-Tsu cannabis strain tileLeafly Canna-Tsu cannabis strain effects

Not everyone wants to get stoned every time their PTSD symptoms flare up. Luckily, there are high-CBD strains like Canna-Tsu to help you keep a clear head while you medicate. Canna-Tsu still has some THC, but it’s counterbalanced by CBD for a relaxing, functional effect.

Best Cannabis Strains for Social Anxiety

Leafly Strawberry Cough cannabis strain tileLeafly Strawberry Cough cannabis strain effects

Social anxiety is tricky: you want a strain that keeps you alert and social, but nothing so stimulating that your mind races as you exude awkwardness. Strawberry Cough may be a sativa, but it manages to walk the fine line between energizing and calming, making it easy to converse without feeling overly paranoid.

Leafly user windowlickingood“I usually shy away from going out in the public while smoking any bud. With this, it actually felt nice to be out while being medicated. I was able to hold constructive conversations.”

Leafly ACDC cannabis strain tileLeafly ACDC cannabis strain effects

For more severe cases of social anxiety, a high-CBD strain might be better suited for you. ACDC’s cannabinoid profile can vary, but it typically contains about 20 times more CBD than THC so its psychoactive effects are minimal. This makes it easy to stay relaxed, clear-headed, and focused in what would normally be an uncomfortable social situation.

Best Cannabis Strains for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Leafly Northern Lights cannabis strain tileLeafly Northern Lights cannabis strain effects

The link between OCD and cannabis is not well understood, but based on user ratings and reviews it would seem that there are a few strains out there that help settle nervous fixations. A tranquilizing indica like Northern Lights helps slow the mind and body down, bringing them into a relaxed state where the organization of your Tupperware drawer doesn’t matter quite so much.

Leafly user mjmend“Northern Lights won me to Team Indica. I suffer from OCD, social/generalized anxiety, arthritis and muscle spasms in my back. Most hybrids and sativas have made me paranoid as all hell. This might be my favorite strain so far. The overall effect was calm, relaxed, without racing thoughts, and a definite decrease in pain.”

Leafly White Fire OG cannabis strain tileLeafly White Fire OG cannabis strain effects

White Fire OG, or WiFi OG, might have high levels of THC, but many OCD patients find solace in this potent hybrid strain. This could possibly be attributed to the presence of myrcene and/or limonene, terpenes that promote relaxation and stress-relief.

Best Cannabis Strains for Insomnia

Leafly Blackberry Kush cannabis strain tileLeafly Blackberry Kush cannabis strain effects

Blackberry Kush is a heavy indica strain that inherits crushingly sedating effects from its Afghani parent and a sweet berry flavor from Blueberry. This may not be a strain you can indulge in throughout the day, but you’ll be more than grateful to have it at your bedside when insomnia rears its ugly head.

Leafly Purple Urkle cannabis strain tileLeafly Purple Urkle cannabis strain effects

Another powerfully relaxing indica strain, Purple Urkle, annihilates the anxiety and stress that keeps you tossing and turning throughout the night.

By Bailey Rahn — 6/3/2015

Often Overlooked Secrets to Success

An Often-Overlooked Secret to Success

Image credit: Wes Peck | Flickr

In his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini lists six principles of ethical persuasion. The first s reciprocity. “The reciprocity rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us,” Cialdini states. And therein lies the key to what I’ll call the oft-overlooked secret to success: appreciation for what another person does for us.

Cialdini relates an experiment a university professor tried several years ago: He sent Christmas cards to a select list of complete strangers. And the response was overwhelming. He received dozens of thank-you holiday cards back from these people he’d never met. Why? Because they appreciated getting a card from him and, as the law of reciprocity says, we respond to a positive action with another positive action.

How can this help you as an entrepreneur?

When you are in a state of appreciation and gratitude for what has been given to you, you are actually in a state of abundance — appreciating what you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t. Because what you focus on expands, if you are constantly focusing on what you can do for others and at the same time appreciating the things you already have, you will inevitably get more of what you want because that is your focus.

Remember, like attracts like. The more you are in an appreciative state, the more you will attract that which you yourself are appreciative for.

My friend, Lamar, completely lights up whenever I give him a gift. I love his genuine reaction of thankfulness so much that now I look for special things I know he’ll like, just so I can surprise him. His appreciation causes me to continue to give.

What if you similarly gave your audience something every day with no expectation of reciprocation? What would that do for your own psyche and your business’s bottom line? There is a famous biblical scripture that says, “Practice giving and people will give to you.” Have you tried that lately? Here are three practical tips on how you can display this concept in your life and business:

1. Create an alert on your phone to go off three times a day.

When it does, take time to be grateful for three things in your life. Make time to appreciate three people in your life. And look for three ways you can give something useful to your clients.

2. Surprise someone.

Recall a time when you received a completely unexpected gift out of the blue. How did it make you feel? I want you to create that feeling for someone else. When you make someone else feel appreciated, you will be remembered. Look for ways to make your customers feel that they are one of a kind.

3. Think about the three ways in which our brains take in information.

There are three ways in which we can express our appreciation for others. Some people need to hear it, others need to see it and still others need to feel or experience it. Once you determine the dominant type preferred by those you’re trying to reach, the sky’s the limit.

 

Contributor – Meiko Patton

The Successful Optimist

Possible Not Impossible

Why the language you use makes a difference

 

Glass half-empty or half-full? Does it really matter? As it turns out, it does matter how you explain that glass and the world around you. Those who explain things one way are better salespeople, have less depression and are more motivated than those who see things the opposite way. The good news is that if you can recognize your language pattern, you can do something about it and actually change how you respond.

It’s about a thing called your explanatory style, and Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman has conducted more than 600 studies that prove that optimistic explanations get you the good stuff, while pessimistic ones will often end exactly how you predict them to–badly. Here are a few things essential to understanding the science around explanatory style:

  1. Optimists make more money and are more loyal. In a study with life insurance agents, Seligman found that the most optimistic salespeople sold 88 percent more than the most pessimistic ones. The study also indicated that agents in the least optimistic quarter were three times likelier to quit than agents in the most optimistic quarter. Other studies have shown that this data is consistent with findings in other business categories.
  2. The optimist with high reality testing is a gold mine. Optimism is not about fooling yourself and being all rosy; it is about seeing options to reality–i.e., being an “optionist.” That requires having a good lock on what is actually happening. To be a successful optimist, you must also have an accurate barometer on reality. If you are correct about reality, you can become an excellent “optionist.” Most people think of optimists as flaky nonrealists, which they can be if their perception of reality is distorted. If you are an optimist based in realism, you are statistically more likely to make more money.
  3. Pessimists are more accurate about reality than optimists. When good things happen, pessimists are accurate. When bad things happen, again they are accurate. For the optimist, when good things happen, they are accurate; but when bad things happen, they are less accurate. Therein lies the gift they have. Optimists think that there are more options when bad things happen. So they try different things in order to get out of a jam. Serious pessimists usually give up once they think the outcome is foretold.
  4. There is nothing wrong with being a pessimist. If your job requires high accuracy, pessimism may actually benefit you. Look out for what I explain in the next bullet before you succumb to pessimism, though.
  5. Pessimists are more likely to become depressed than their optimistic counterparts. If an optimist loses a job, it will take, on average, four to six weeks to get back into the hunt. If a pessimist loses a job, it can take three to six months before emerging to see the light.
  6. Optimists keep moving forward because they believe there are options. Pessimists don’t usually persist in the face of setbacks and can be prone to inertia. When salespeople are rejected again and again, it is the optimist who makes another phone call while the pessimist gets down in the mouth and gives up.

optimism

 

The Fix
You’re probably wondering how you go from being a pessimist to an optimist. The fix itself is simple to understand but can be difficult to execute because you’ve been practicing your explanatory style for at least a few decades now. It’s going to take a lot of dedication, a hyper-awareness of how you explain events–primarily bad ones–and a willingness to accept that maybe you are a big negative thinker who has gotten by because you keep a smile plastered on your face while predicting the end of the world. It’s time to get over that and get more out of life and work.

When bad events happen, pessimists tend to explain the calamity as:

  • Permanent –Behind on earnings: “We’re never going to hit our numbers.” The pessimist believes that he’s hit the iceberg, so the team is doomed. There is no point in problem-solving at this point, since the ship is going down anyway.
  • Pervasive –Mad at your accountant: “Accountants are such losers.” This is the tendency to explain all people or things in a category as bad if only one is bad.

A little tweak in explanatory style when bad things happen and you become an optimist:

  • Temporary –Behind on earnings: “This is a bad quarter, but next quarter we have a few things in the pipeline to make up for this quarter.” The optimist looks for options when things are bad, making the situation a temporary negative. This keeps them and others motivated.
  • Specific –Mad at your accountant: “I need to get a new accountant. This one’s not working out.” The optimist doesn’t throw all bad people and things into the same category. They are specific about who or what is bad, and then they go find a good one.

In short, you’re more pessimistic if, when something negative happens, you believe that there are no other options (permanence) or that since there is one rotten apple, all of them are rotten (pervasiveness). It doesn’t take much to see that a pessimist can get depressed in a big hurry with that kind of explanatory style. You can also see how it probably leads to inertia.

The opposite explanation style is found in optimists and pessimists when good events happen. Pessimists think that if something good happens, it’s temporary, explaining that the stars aligned perfectly and probably won’t do so again in our lifetime. On the other hand, optimists are more permanent when explaining good events. They believe that good happens because they have the right ingredients to create that positive event every time. Pessimists are specific about explaining the reason for good events, and when bad things occur, they believe it is pervasive.

It is a choice you get to make. If you don’t think you have a choice, you’re exactly right. Enjoy the misery of it all.

 

Contributor Scott Halford

11 Things That Happen to Your Body If You Have Sex Daily

Sex is such a taboo subject, even today, but here is why we should be talking about it! Sex has so many hidden benefits, and here is why you should be doing it more often.

Sex is a wonderful part of life, I mean what is not to like? It feels good, it is good for your health, and it can even prevent headaches. Make sex part of your daily life, and you know you will not regret it!

  1. Improved Immunity

People who have sex more frequently have significantly higher levels of immunoglobulin A. This is your immune systems first line of defense. It job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for the activation  your body’s immune system.

  1. Less Stress

If you are freaking out about something going on tomorrow like a job interview, a surgery, or a date you might want to make a run to the bedroom. Research has revealed that people who had sex at least once over two weeks were more able to manage stressful situations such as public speaking.

  1. Better Sleep

The same endorphins that help you de-stress can also relax your mind and body, priming you for slumber. Director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin says, during the orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released. “Prolactin levels are naturally higher when we sleep, which suggests a strong relationship between the two,” she says.

  1. Burns Calories

Just half an hour of sex can burn 85 calories, sometimes this can be more depending on how active you are. Sex is a full body workout, and daily sex is a great exercise routine, you really have to work to perform it well.

  1. Heart Health

Men who have sex regularly are proven to be 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less. Sexual activity provides some of the same benefits of exercise and also keep levels of estrogen and testosterone in balance, both of which are important for heart health.

 
  1. Lower Blood Pressure

Sex is linked to better stress response and lower blood pressure.

 
  1. Boosts self-esteem

Increased amounts of sex mean increased desire, intimate time with someone results in improved self-esteem. Some people who are not necessarily lacking in self-esteem, claim to have better sex because it makes them feel better.

  1. Strengthens Pelvic floor muscles

Pelvic floor muscles exercises can help increase sexual sensation, and overall health. Contracting these muscles during sex not only feel great but can help reduce the possibility of incontinence when you are older.

  1. Pain Relief

Sex releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as reduced menstrual cramp pain, as well as pain from arthritis and headaches.

  1. Increases Intimacy and Improves Your Relationship

Sex and Orgasms result in increased levels of the hormone oxytocin, or the love hormone, makes you feel more bonded to your partner, and experience empathic connections.

  1. Glowing Skin

That morning after glow, you are always hearing about is the truth! It is not just your imagination; you really do look better after. Sex can even help you to look younger!