Category: Do’s & Don’t’s

Six Behaviors Business People Loathe

6 Behaviors People in Business Loathe

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Our success is often defined by the things that we do and less by the things that we say — I really do believe it can be that simple. This often comes down to the trust that is built by our actions when we interact with others, yet we’re constantly surrounded by people that just can’t seem to figure it out — whether intentionally or not.

I’ve taken the liberty of creating a small laundry list of actions that, if you find yourself doing, you really should stop — right now.

1. Don’t do what you say you’re going to.

Here’s the deal: If you can create one rule in your life that has the capacity to tremendously alter outcomes, it’s this one. Just do what you say you’re going to do. The benefit of this seemingly simple ask is that the vast majority of your fellow human beings just won’t or can’t. They’ll make promises and commitments that they either don’t have the intention or purely the bandwidth to follow through on — so when you do, you’ll look like a superhero.

2. Constantly looking at your phone.

Yes, we’re all guilty of this from time to time — or all the time in some extremely inconsiderate cases. The reality is, what you’re telling those around you is that they’re not important. What is important is the gadget in your hand that has you so transfixed it’s as if its mere use is extending your life by rewarding you with credits to the lost fountain of youth. Guess what, it’s not.

Do yourself a favor and put your pocket computer on silent in your pocket when you’re engaging with others — whatever is happening on Candy Crush can wait.

3. Your lack of eye contact.

I know, this is pretty simple, but I’m going to take it in a bit of different direction. I’m not referring to the first introduction, “it’s nice to meet you” type of eye contact — although that’s super important too — I’m referring to when we’re sitting at lunch and you’re having a hard time focusing, which is represented by your incessant looking about the room or at the TV behind me.

If you can’t focus on a discussion, how are you to be trusted to focus on a considerably more complicated project, task or job?

4. You talk about yourself, non-stop.

When you’re engaged in conversation and find yourself out of breath whilst deep into a series of self satisfying stories about you-know-who, what you’re really saying is that you care only about yourself and likely possess an ego that has may never be tamed. Guess what? You’ll get a lot further in life by asking a few questions, closing your yapper and just listening intently. Try it and watch magic happen.

5. You’re late.

There’s not much worse than dealing with someone that can’t keep track of their own schedule and, as a result, is late to scheduled calls or meetings. All you’re really telling the world, or at least those that are waiting for you, is that your time is more valuable than theirs and you’re completely incompetent when it comes to managing your own schedule. I know, things happen. Here’s a solution: plan accordingly.

6. Using acronyms.

Every business and industry is fraught with top-secret jargon and confusing acronyms. When you find yourself spouting them off while amongst those that aren’t in your industry or may not understand them, it’s often perceived that you’re posturing with the intent to show the world how smart you are — and by default, how stupid they are. It’s OK to use your code words, but just be sure to be conscious of those around you and take the time to explain what they mean.

What are some behaviors that you think should be stopped immediately? Let us know in the comments section below.

Adam Callinan April 16, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Extraordinary People Inspirational Life Lessons Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Psychology Relationships Self Improvement Success

Tags: Business Etiquette

Five Negative Traits That May Be Pushing People Away

5 Horrible Traits That Push People Away

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There are certain bad habits that some people have that simply drive others away. As the old saying goes, every person has something good to offer. But for some, it’s when they leave the room. Are people happy when you walk in or overjoyed when you walk out?

Here are five negative traits that push people away, how to recognize if you have them and how to get rid of them for good.

1. You’re a downer.

We’ve all been around these people. They whine, they complain, they talk about how much is going wrong in their lives and they want to tell you every detail of it.

How do you know if it’s you that’s the downer? Pay attention to what you’re talking about the most. Did you complain about traffic as your opening line when you got to your meeting this morning? Did you make sure to tell those around you how little sleep you got last night, how hard you’re working or how busy you are?

If the constant theme of your conversation is whining or negative, you’re probably a bit of a downer to be around. Notice how you are starting conversations with your peers and if the theme is consistently complaining, it’s time to change your tune. Another sign is if your peers take a deep sigh as you approach or consistently respond “uh-huh,” which is a sign they don’t want to engage.

How do you stop it? This is one of the simplest, but hardest to fix. The simple part is all you have to do is stop talking about things that bum you out and make everyone else bummed out, too. Try starting with noticing something nice or good every time you are about to complain. If you’re stuck in traffic, notice something beautiful around and focus on that to talk about with your peers. If you didn’t get much sleep, try not to talk about it. If someone says you look tired, offer a positive response like, “Yeah, I didn’t get a ton of sleep, but wait until I show you how great the project proposal is that I got done!”

There can always be a more positive counterpoint to your complaining. Find it, and try to change the conversation.

2. You don’t shut up.

Have you ever been around a person who won’t stop talking? Maybe it was a boss, a co-worker, a founder or even a passenger on an airplane. It can feel like bobbing helplessly in the ocean, watching a giant wave come at you that you just know is going to pummel you with a wall of words. You want to take a deep breath, hold on for dear life and suffer through the verbal assault of chattiness.

How can you tell if you’re the ocean wave people are dreading? A few good signs to pay attention to are the airspace you take up in conversations and the reactions people have to your approach. Just like being a downer, when you talk too much, people tend to either scatter as you approach for no apparent reason, or respond in quick “uh-huh” responses to not engage you any further than is necessary.

Do people stand a lot when talking to you? That’s another body language clue they’re looking to get away quick, or aren’t willing to sit, knowing that means you’re going to hold them captive in your conversation. If you find you talk at people instead of with people, that you dominate the majority of every meeting and conversation, guess what? You need to learn how to stop talking so much.

The good news is, just like being a downer, the solution is easy — stop talking! That can be hard for someone used to being a chatterbox. Practical advice is to practice holding your tongue longer. In meetings, try to trade off listening and talking in alternating turns. Share airtime around the table for others to voice their opinions, too. Try counting to three in your head before you speak to make sure you aren’t choking out other voices in the room.

With some practice, you can turn this terrible habit around (and you’ll probably gain a lot of friends back as a result!).

3. You’re distracted.

We all have important things to do in our day, but if you’re the guy or gal that’s always on your phone talking, texting and emailing while others are trying to talk to you, have dinner with you or hold a meeting you’re in — guess what? That’s a horrible habit people hate.

How can you tell if you’re the distracted one? Do you find yourself asking, “what was that again?” often throughout the day? That’s a great sign you aren’t paying attention to others. Do you ever look up from a meeting or conversation and see everyone else is off the phone and laptop except you? If you’re constantly digitally distracted, try leaving the phone, tablet or laptop at home for your next dinner appointment or meeting.

It can be hard to disconnect from your digital devices, but you’ll gain important human connections that you need to garner healthy, happy relationships. Ditch the dirty digital distraction habit and reconnect with individuals, giving them the attention they deserve from you.

4. You’re condescending.

Even if you know more than others, what’s more inspiring: teaching how to get to your level, or talking down to them about theirs? Being condescending is a horrible habit that will alienate others.

How can you tell if you’re condescending? It’s often in others more than you. What does that mean? Look at the people in your life and take stock of how many are better off having known you. Do you mentor others? Have you helped people around you gain skills, knowledge, jobs or in any other way helped to develop others to teach what you know? How many people would come to you for help with a problem or for a question?

Pay attention to the way you treat others. Do you help them, or talk down to them? Do you offer advice when it isn’t asked for (which can be another key sign of condescending, thinking you need to tell others what to do and how to do it)? If these patterns sound familiar, try a change in tone and a change in perspective.

Instead of offering advice, only give it when specifically asked. Stay on topic when asked and don’t make your advice go broader than the request. Try teaching the next time someone makes a mistake instead of berating them.

Patience, an affinity to teaching and some compassion will help you break this horrible habit.

5. You’re insincere.

People can sniff out a fake fast these days. There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion or a perspective that doesn’t match up to everyone else. You don’t have to be fake or insincere about your opinion or others. It’s better to be kind, but honest, than to pretend.

Most people who are insincere either are that way because they’re insecure, which stems from a desire to have everyone like them, or they’re condescending.

If your insincerity comes from insecurity, here are a few ways to tell. Do you worry that saying no or having a different opinion will mean people don’t like you? Do you worry about what others think? Do you constantly go along to get along? The truth is that most people respect a healthy disagreement or can accommodate other perspectives and opinions. You don’t have to be obnoxious or forceful in your opinions, but it’s OK to be sincere about having a different perspective.

A great way to start overcoming this habit of being a contrarian is simply to not offer your opinion at all. When someone tells you something you don’t agree with, try simply saying something neutral such as, “that’s interesting,” and leaving it at that until you build up the confidence to be authentic.

The most important thing is to stop agreeing, or saying yes to things you don’t want to do, don’t believe in or are otherwise faking agreement on. Start slow and you can beat this bad habit.

Contributor Matthew Toren May 28, 2015

admin May 29, 2015 No Comments

Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Inspirational Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Positive Outlook Psychology Self Improvement Spiritual Energy Well Being

Tags: Negative Traits

10 Business Lessons You can Learn at Bars

Back in college and my early 20s (when I actually had a social life), I tended to go out to parties and bars more often than I thought I “should.” My gut often told me that I should probably be studying, reading, exercising, sleeping, networking or otherwise engaging in productive activities that were more likely to directly advance my career. But I went out anyway. Those informal outings with my drinking buddies felt like a fun (and deserved) distraction from work rather than a process of self-development in and of itself.

In retrospect, I now realize how formative those years of partying really were for my career. I learned a ton of social lessons that have tremendously helped me later in life.

Of course, you do not actually have to drink alcohol or go to bars to develop these business socialization skills, but the fast-paced social environment involved in nightlife does provide a great setting for that type of personal development. This is an important lesson for passionate entrepreneurs who become such workaholics that they forget the importance of socialization.

1. Be patient yet persistent.

We’ve all experienced that frustrating moment when the bartender seems to be ignoring us in favor of other customers. Veteran bar patrons handle this impression of rejection by maintaining a visible presence and by making multiple (polite) attempts to gain the bartender’s attention.

Just like in sales or fundraising, people tend to serve our needs better when we project an air of confidence and respectful persistence. Frequent bouts of rejection and recovery build character.

2. Tip the bartender early.

Taking good care of your service providers early in the night is the fastest way to improve your quality of service as the night progresses. This same lesson goes for employees, clients and investors. Recognizing people for their performance (particularly in unexpected ways) will improve both the quality of their work and the strength of your relationship.

3. Fake it ‘til you make it.

At a trendy urban night club, it’s often easy to feel like the shortest, ugliest, poorest, worst-dressed or least cool person in the room. The dirty secret is that every partygoer has felt one of these emotions at some point. People who succeed socially (and in business) don’t necessarily possess all the desired qualities from the outset. They simply succeed in convincing themselves that they are awesome until other people start believing it too.

4. Don’t always go for the most attractive girl (or guy).

One of my favorite scenes from A Beautiful Mind was the bar scene when Russell Crowe’s character explained his game theory epiphany in the context of which woman his friends should flirt with. He cautioned them against going for the most attractive woman at the risk of alienating the other women with whom they had a better chance.

This allegory can be used to illustrate not only game theory but also the “80-20 rule.” Sometimes, rather than playing all your cards targeting the world’s best sales prospect, dating opportunity or venture capitalist, you will attain a higher return on investment by starting with targets that are more “in your league.” Impress other key players until the elites have no choice but to pay attention to you.

5. Pace yourself.

Nobody likes a rookie who drinks too much, pukes and passes out before midnight. Nor does anybody like a manager who is bouncing from one fire-drill emergency to the next, or an employee who procrastinates and then has to cram at the last minute. A more responsible and experienced partier learns to plan ahead, get some food in his or her stomach and drink a glass of water between every other adult beverage.

Moderation builds character. Personal restraint and composure are some of the traits needed to become a poised, collected manager in the face of a crisis or urgent deadline.

6. Double your expense forecasts.

Every battle plan becomes worthless once the first shot is fired. Over time, a veteran partier learns that the statement “I’m only spending $40 tonight and only staying out until midnight” is rarely a promise they can uphold.

Learning that every project ends up taking twice as long and costing twice as much as originally planned can help you choose your projects better and prepare more honest forecasts that you can adhere to. That new project — or night on the town — might not actually be worth the can of worms it might open in the first place.

7. Follow up with new relationships.

Throughout the night at a bar, party or business event, you typically have great conversations with people you’ve never met before. Each of these people could potentially become a friend or important contact — provided that you do the work to follow up.

Whenever you meet someone you like, always remember to ask for their contact info so you can follow up the next day. Send an email, tweet, text, Facebook message, LinkedIn request or whatever is appropriate for the relationship, and come up with some reason to reconnect soon (coffee, a party invite, a bike ride, a phone call, an invitation to play basketball at your local park or maybe even just virtually discussing an article that you thought they might like).

Your success in life is directly proportional to the number of awesome people with whom you are connected.

8. Fail fast.

Sometimes the current bar just isn’t the right fit. The vibe is dead, the band sucks and there’s a smell coming from the bathroom. But half of your friends are only halfway done with their drinks, and the other half figure they’ll order another round while the others finish. The cycle continues until — before you know it — you’ve spent the whole evening at that crappy bar.

A smart partygoer, and manager, can tell when the team is becoming overly committed to a dead-end initiative. She or he knows when and how to convince the group to stop investing in the current solution, before too many resources have been invested in it. “Agile” managers both have more fun and invest their resources more efficiently. They know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.

9. Take leadership when nobody else will.

There’s nothing worse than asking your friends, “What restaurant do you want to go to?” and getting the collective response “I don’t care, whatever you guys want.” This indifference can dampen a group dynamic pretty quickly. Groups actually want someone to steer decision-making to establish clarity and understanding among members.

Whether in nightlife or in business, you begin to learn that that someone can be you. Learning to take initiative is possibly the largest single contributor to success in life.

10. Designate a voice of reason in your group.

All groups need at least one designated driver to abstain from the Kool-Aid and ensure that the team members make rational decisions. Even with a great, visionary CEO to steer the bar-hopping itinerary, few groups can truly achieve greatness without a sober COO to keep everyone realistic and pragmatic.

Overall, learning to consistently have a fun, efficient and safe night out with your friends can prepare you for a lot of the challenges that can be thrown at you later in life. The best side effect is that you emerge from these youthful social activities with a network based on real friendships.

Whether you are hanging out at bars, playing in sports leagues or participating in a chess club, learning to confidently make the most of your personal relationships will help you become more successful throughout your career.

Andrew Cohen May 19, 2015

admin May 20, 2015 No Comments

Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Extraordinary People Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Money Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Self Improvement Success Wealth

How to Transform Your Life in 6 Minutes a Day

Minute 1: S is for silence.

Instead of hitting the snooze button, and then rushing through your day feeling stressed and overwhelmed, invest your first minute in sitting in purposeful silence. Sit quietly, calm and peaceful and breathe deeply. Maybe you meditate. Center yourself and create an optimum state of mind that will lead you effectively through the rest of your day.

Maybe you say a prayer of gratitude and appreciate the moment. As you sit in silence, you quiet your mind, relax your body and allow your stress to melt away. You develop a deeper sense of clarity, purpose, and direction.

Minute 2: A is for Affirmations.

Pull out and read your page of affirmations — written statements that remind you of your unlimited potential, your most important goals and the actions you must take today to achieve them. Reading over reminders of how capable you really are motivates you. Looking over which actions you must take, re-energizes you to focus on doing what’s necessary today to takeyour life to the next level.

Minute 3. V is for visualization.

Close your eyes and visualize what it will look like and feel like when you reach your goals. Seeing your ideal vision increases your belief that it’s possible and your desire to make it a reality.

Minute 4. E is for exercise.

Stand up and move your body for 60 seconds, long enough to increase the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain. You could easily do a minute of jumping jacks, push-ups, or sit-ups. The point is that you raise your heart rate, generate energy and increase your ability to be alert and focused.

Minute 5. R is for reading.

Grab the self-help book you’re currently reading and read one page, maybe two. Learn a new idea, something you can incorporate into your day, which will improve your results at work or in your relationships. Discover something new that you can use to think better, feel better and live better.

Minute 6. S is for scribing.

Pull out your journal and take one minute to write down something you’re grateful for, something you’re proud of and the top one to three results that you’re committed to creating that day. In doing so, you create the clarity and motivation that you need to take action.

Start today.

How would you feel if that’s how you used the first six minutes of each day? How would the quality of your day — and your life — improve? We can all agree that investing a minimum of six minutes into becoming the person that we need to be to create the lives we truly want is not only reasonable. It’s an absolute must.

admin May 20, 2015 No Comments

Categories: Do's & Don't's Entrepreneur Inspirational Life Hacks Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Money Positive Mental Attitude Positive Outlook Psychology Self Improvement Spiritual Energy Success Superior State of Mind Wealth

Tags: Entrepreneur PMA

10 Truths We Forget Too Easily

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Some of life’s essential truths need repeating. Keep this list handy and give it a read any time you need a boost.

1. Being Busy Does Not Equal Being Productive

Look at everyone around you. They all seem so busy—running from meeting to meeting and firing off emails. Yet how many of them are really producing, really succeeding at a high level?

Success doesn’t come from movement and activity. It comes from focus—from ensuring that your time is used efficiently and productively.

You get the same number of hours in the day as everyone else. Use yours wisely. After all, you’re the product of your output, not your effort. Make certain your efforts are dedicated to tasks that get results.

2. Great Success Is Often Preceded By Failure

You will never experience true success until you learn to embrace failure. Your mistakes pave the way for you to succeed by revealing when you’re on the wrong path.

The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box and see the solution that you’ve been missing.

Success takes patience and the ability to maintain a good attitude even while suffering for what you believe in.

3. Fear Is the No. 1 Source of Regret

When it’s all said and done, you will lament the chances you didn’t take far more than you will your failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.

The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.

4. Your Self-Worth Must Come From Within

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. When you feel good about something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments to take that away from you.

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

5. You’re Only as Good as Those You Associate With

You should strive to surround yourself with people who inspire you, people who make you want to be better. And you probably do. But what about the people who drag you down? Why do you allow them to be a part of your life?

Anyone who makes you feel worthless, anxious, or uninspired is wasting your time and, quite possibly, making you more like them. Life is too short to associate with people like this. Cut them loose.

6. Life Is Short

None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. Yet, when someone dies unexpectedly it causes us to take stock of our own life: what’s really important, how we spend our time, and how we treat other people.

Loss is a raw, visceral reminder of the frailty of life. It shouldn’t be.

Remind yourself every morning when you wake up that each day is a gift and you’re bound to make the most of the blessing you’ve been given. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing is the moment it will start acting like one.

After all, a great day begins with a great mindset.

7. You Don’t Have to Wait for an Apology to Forgive

Life goes a lot smoother once you let go of grudges and forgive even those who never said they were sorry. Grudges let negative events from your past ruin today’s happiness. Hate and anger are emotional parasites that destroy your joy in life.

The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge create a stress response in your body, and holding on to stress can have devastating health consequences. Researchers at Emory University have shown that holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.

When you forgive someone, it doesn’t condone their actions; it simply frees you from being their eternal victim.

8. You’re Living the Life You’ve Created

You are not a victim of circumstance. No one can force you to make decisions and take actions that run contrary to your values and aspirations.

The circumstances you’re living in today are your own—you created them. Likewise, your future is entirely up to you. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s probably because you’re afraid to take the risks necessary to achieve your goals and live your dreams.

When it’s time to take action, remember that it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of one you don’t.

9. Live in the Moment

You can’t reach your full potential until you learn to live your life in the present.

No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. It’s impossible to be happy if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.

To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things:

Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future.
Accept the uncertainty of the future. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said, “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

10. Change Is Inevitable — Embrace It

Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize, and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates.

You’re bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away.

After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Life doesn’t stop for anyone. When things are going well, appreciate them and enjoy them, as they are bound to change. If you are always searching for something more, something better, that you think is going to make you happy, you’ll never be present enough to enjoy the great moments before they’re gone.

Jennifer Goforth Gregory

May 14, 2015

A version of this article first appeared on TalentSmart.com.

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Folklore Life Hacks Life Lessons Managing Self Limiting Thoughts Positive Mental Attitude Psychology Quotes Self Improvement Spiritual Energy Success Superior State of Mind Well Being

10 Things You Need To Eliminate From Your Life Immediately

1. Negative people.

I think it’s important to keep people in your life who hold your feet to the fire and want to see you achieve your dreams and be the best person you can be. There’s a solid difference between those kinds of people and negative people. Negative people think you’ll fail because they don’t trust you. Negative people don’t even really want you to succeed.

2. Caring about your mistakes.

Learning from your mistakes is crucial for growing and preventing those mistakes in the future, but don’t get hung up on it.

3. Worrying about the past.

Similar to caring about your mistakes, don’t sweat the past. It happened. You can’t go back in time.

4. Your self image.

I used to have real self image problems, but I didn’t fix it by forcing a more positive image on myself. I just stopped having a self image. It’s been incredible. I just don’t care anymore. Leads to some interesting outfits, sure, but life is way more relaxed.

5. Feeling sorry.

If you find yourself apologizing over things you shouldn’t be apologizing for, just knock it off. You’re brainwashing yourself into believing a false reality where you’re always at fault. You aren’t. Quit with the sorry.

6. Saying yes.

If you don’t want to. Don’t be weak in the face of the hard ask. Just say no if you don’t want to.

7. Trying to impress everyone.

You’re probably just fine how you are. No need to dress to impress.

8. Saying what people want to hear.

Hey, be honest. If you have something to say, say it. There’s no need to sugar coat your thoughts and feelings. Be out there, out loud, and real with people. They’ll respect you for it.

9. Your limiting beliefs.

One thing that tends to derail me is the belief that now isn’t the right time. Now is now, and the best time to start anything you want to do is at this moment. Don’t let core beliefs slow you down. They’re here to lift you up, not hold you down.

10. Worrying about the future.

The future is coming one way or the other. Be ready for it, but don’t spend your time in worry about it. It won’t do you any good at all.

May 3, 2015

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Categories: Do's & Don't's Healthy Techniques Positive Mental Attitude Psychology Spiritual Energy Superior State of Mind Well Being Your Mind